To think people don’t realise how lucky they are when it comes to age

[thedaywewillremeber]

Ds1 has his friend round today. She’s turning 25 tomorrow and she kept saying how she was getting old and how pressured she is due to her age etc. Aibu as someone in their 40’s to say she doesn’t realise how lucky she is to be that young?

It’s a relative and personal experience and 25yo feel a career and life pressure
Usually they’ve graduated and want to start or build a career. Not easy when accommodation costs a fortune and it feels as if every is a smart grad
So if she feels pressured that’s her genuine experience. Donr say anything Don’t do that older thing of pah, call that pressure.

Heh, I look back now and long for the days of my twenties. Different pressures. And of course, people don't live their lives backwards, there's no way they can know the issues of being in their forties. . . when life is far less forgiving. As is time.

Someone in their 60s could say the same about you

"Do not complain about growing old, it is a privilege denied to many".

Being 20 something is often no picnic and 40s is hardly old either!

I don't know...I look at people in their 60s and 70s where I live with enormous, beautiful houses they bought cheaply back in the day and amazing pensions and some days think, "actually, I'd take the wrinkles and dodgy hips, (I am doomed to have these as every woman in my family did as soon as they hit 60), for that" ! I know every generation has their challenges to face, but certainly, those now in early ish retirement where i live appear to be having a lovely time.

Also, my mum never made it to 60 bless her, so I often have a phrase she actually taught me which was, "getting old is better than the alternative".

So, YABU. I wouldn't want to be any younger than I am tbh and think there's quite a lot to be said for being older .

True but would you have had that perspective at 25?

I'm 28. I feel like I am getting on but I do also know I am still young. I remember when I was 22 an 18 year old joined my work. She asked how old I was and when I told her she smiled and said 'all downhill from 21 isnt it. she didnt last long and she'll be about 24 now, wonder how that's going...

40's means you realise you've got 20 years less to rectify your fuck ups.

It's all relative.

I felt it more when I hit thirty than fifty.

I think it's more where you're at in your life compared to where you thought you'd be at that age.

I was 24 when I broke up with the guy I'd been since I was 16, I felt like I was 'too old' to be starting over.

Fucking hilarious now, but it was how I felt at the time.

You CANNOT put an old head, on young shoulders. You just have to accept that's how she feels, whether you know it's a bit daft, or not!

Youth is wasted on the young....

No, in my 20's I would not have had that insight. But by Gods - Enjoy it!

I think my twenties were a hard decade for me looking back. My thirties were relatively more
Settled and my forties are going well so far!

I’m 43 now and actually feel pretty young!!

I age peaked at about 24. I felt very old then, and that opportunities had passed me by, etc. I’ve never felt as old since.
I don’t think it’s connected to chronological time as much as socioemotional experience.

When I had my first dc in my thirties I felt like a gormless teenager and I remember being quite startled one day at the haggard crone I glimpsed in the mirror.

The age you are and the age you feel are very different.

Ah but 25 is a pressured age. You’re supposed to be launching into a career and adult life of some description.

I remember being devastated when I turned 25 and feeling really old. Now I’m 36 and feel 100 times worse exacerbated by wanting children and worrying it‘ll never happen now...I’m sure I wouldn’t feel as upset about my age if I’d managed to be in the “right” life stage by now, which for me was marriage and children in my 30s. The biological clock makes things worse, in particular for women.

There’s also a ridiculous idea of women being “past their best” by 25 and that it’s all down hill from there that’s perpetuated in society (and often even on here!). Men don’t have these problems and seem to be rewarded for growing older.

I wish I knew the “cure”, not for aging but for these horrible attitudes to being a woman and getting older and it being a negative, looks focused, miserable thing.

I keep seeing this Facebook post shared amongst my friends in their 30s and although the sentiment is meant to be supportive and kind, I just hate it. It’s so misery provoking...the grey hair and extra pounds etc...I see things like this, wistfully thinking of the fact we are not 25 anymore as if that’s the peak of our lives over (when realistically we’ve hopefully got another 60 ish years to live after 25!). I just want to scream STOP! Not seen any men posting this sort of bullshit.

I'm 34 I think I'm still young enough to meet someone and settle down

@NameChange84 good post.

At 28 I also feel like people are now getting engaged left right and centre. I have just been building my life back up in my home country after living abroad. So I feel a bit behind in that sense and social media doesnt help, as people keep posting all their milestones with their OHs. I feel like this period if everyone partnering up will be hard too.

I'm in no rush that said.

I am sure I said annoying things like that at 25! It's hard to have perspective when you're so young.

You are always the oldest you've ever been.

So it's always "shiiiiiit! I'm so old!".

No, I'm 'I'm not old, really, I'm not old! Okay, middle aged. . . . Oh fuck. . .

I found my early to mid twenties very hard, and was very anxious a lot of the time. Because you are trying to establish a career, relationship, the kind of life you want for yourself , usually in unstable rented accommodation, and it's easy to feel down on yourself as you haven't yet gained the experience that brings confidence in your own own abilities. That's how I felt anyway. I wouldn't want to be in my twenties again. Now 39 and much happier.

It sounds like she needs support and encouragement, rather than patronising remarks about how lucky she is to be young! That would just be totally dismissive of her concerns, which are valid to her!

I’m 50 and still young; when I think about my mum who is 80! To her I am still a young lady. To my children I am ancient. But I guess I am just what I am and very fortunate to be well.

25 is hard for a woman. I was properly depressed at 30. My career had failed to launch and I was nowhere near ready to have a kid. There's a sort of expectation that you should have it all done by 30 and if you don't you are a failure. I felt that hard. There's a lot of expectations that fade with age. I'm 38 now and I've achieved so much in the last 8 years. I've got to where I want to be and I'm not bothered about being 40.

It's down to personal experience how you perceive your age , I m 25 and don't see it as young as my dad didn't make it past 36 although it shouldn't happen to me as well, I haven't seen myself as young for a few years.

I don't think there's anything lucky about being young or terrible about being old. I'm really not bothered about ageing, and am happy enough with my younger years - I don't feel they were better or way worse than now, just very different.

I do think it's sad when people, women especially, worry about getting older.