To think people don’t realise how lucky they are when it comes to age

[thedaywewillremeber]

Ds1 has his friend round today. She’s turning 25 tomorrow and she kept saying how she was getting old and how pressured she is due to her age etc. Aibu as someone in their 40’s to say she doesn’t realise how lucky she is to be that young?

I may have felt age pressure at 25 but I wouldn’t have been so tactless to say it in front of an older person

25 was also s bit of a turning point for me. I sort of woke up from my constant parting, spending all my wages each month and realising that I was actually a 'grown up' and had to start changing my life for the better. I then broke up with a deadbeat BF I'd been with for years, began seriously saving for my own house, passed my driving test and embarked on a career change after falling in to a job at 18 and stagnating there since. Feeling old at 25 was great for me. It was definitely a "right I better start getting my life together" age for me.

So many typos sorry! Lol

It's not lucky at all when we all get to be all the ages in turn. It's is rude to whinge about getting older in the presence of older people though.

Age has never bothered me but I feel the consequences more now as doors are starting to close in a way as I approach 60. However, hopefully others will open.

It's is rude to whinge about getting older in the presence of older people though.

Absolutely. And quite immature too!

I am in my 50s and like to think I'm just approaching the top of my game.
You want something sorting? It's sorted.
God I'm confident, fearsome even.
I scare myself sometimes.
Rooooaaar!

I felt very old when I was 28 with the weight of a new baby and stressful job. Now, a decade on with children instead of babies, and a less stressful job, I feel lighter, less serious, and therefore younger.

We have all had the opportunity of youth. Not all of us will have the opportunity of age. Live your life for you and everyday to it's fullest. That way it doesn't matter what your chronological age is.

25 was half my life ago.

It's a bit of a pants age, though. You're not a teen or young 20 something any more. You're having to be a bit more responsible but people still pat you on the head like a kid. Yes, you're young, but the stuff the teens wear start to look a bit wrong but other stuff seems a bit old and frumpy.

I was probably more middle aged at 25 than I am, now!

I'm in my 70s and would say the same about you, OP.

20s are hard because you're too green and don't know your worth, also when you're being exploited. Lots of people are in very bad relationships because they are not looking at it with logic. I see so many beautiful women getting used then discarded by men, and they think it's love.

I’m 49 now, wouldn’t want to be 25 now, but I honestly have no regrets and have enjoyed each step in my life so far.at 25 I was in my last year of 5 travelling the world, amazing times. I now have no incarnation to travel farther than I can walk or cycle.

The age you are and the age you feel are very different.

This. I'm 61 and still think of myself as young. I certainly wouldn't complain about being old to someone in their 80s. As for pressure - I'm unemployed, and you try job searching in your 60s, it's not the same as for those in their 20s.

I'd just laugh and roll my eyes, privately. Of course it's silly for a healthy 25-year-old to say she feels old, but she's likely telling the truth. She feels old, even though she's not and even though she's thoughtless to say things like that around "her elders" when she knows very well that she's only twenty-five.

Next time, you could be one of those fun people who don't bother to hide their laugh and follow it up with some version of, "You think you feel old now?! Wait until you're my age!" Give her something to think about and put some fear in her.

NameChange84 Bloody hell, that depressing bit of twaddle is being posted by women in their 30s? Fat, wrinkles, grey hair? What sort of 30s are these women experiencing?

Women in their 30s looking at 25 year old and feeling old? Such a ridiculous emphasis on youth. Women should be at their peak in their 30s.

Maturing can bring many compensations, not least the confidence to be yourself and be happy in your skin.

I find the yearning to always be looking back and wishing for what's gone rather sad.

I agree it’s all relative. A 60 year old would say the same about you. An 80 year old would say the same to a 60 year old

I don’t think it’s lucky either way. We’ve all been young and we’ll all get old. She’s no luckier than what you or I were at her age.

She probably does feel old compared to an 18 year old....

Just to add, she probably feels more pressure than what we did at that age because everything is scrutinised now. I didn’t even have a mobile until I was 21 😳

I will be 25 next month and honestly I do feel pressure, I do feel like I'm getting old and I'm fed up of everyone telling me how young I am.

I bought a house when I was 20 so in that respect you could say I'm settled. But I have no friends and a completely miserable in my life and when everyone around you is saying things like 'you're so young!' 'these are the best times of your life' 'your 20s are to be enjoyed' it just makes me think, how on earth can it go downhill from here? I'm already at rock bottom. So for me the pressure is feeling that I'm supposed to be enjoying my life now and that by feeling the way I am, I'm wasting my life away. Plus it makes me think what's the point in carrying on this shit life if its all downhill past 25?

I agree with the poster who said it can depend on where you are in life compared to where you wanted to be. In all honesty, I wanted to settle down young. My mum was young having me and I love how close we are, so I always wanted to be a young mum. I was TTC with my ex when I was 20 and spend 21-22 going to fertility clinics. I know some people will think 'wtf? Why would you waste your youth!' But the point is that was how I wanted my life to be. I'm not bothered about partying and getting drunk. But apparently everyone in their 20s has to do that .

I never got pregnant and that relationship ended and whilst I'm glad I didn't have a child with him I do mourn the fact that I'll never be a young mum. I see other girls my age with two kids now and think why couldn't that be me?

I also think people should consider how they felt at twenty five. I'm sure in hindsight it's easy to look back and wish to be young again but at the time it's the oldest you've ever been so it's scary.

There is a lot of pressure to fit in, be grown up, but not too grown up that you're not enjoying your youth, look good, have lots of friends, go lots of places, study, get the right job, meet the right person...its never ending.

Well, unless you're 120, there will always be someone older than you!

I always hated reaching 'age milestones'. Even as a kid, I hated all this emphasis on 'now you're 6!', etc. leading to 'why can't you do X at your age?!' Nowadays I simply refuse to mark or celebrate my birthday. I know that won't actually stop me getting older(!) but it will stop it being the focus of my own and everyone else's attention!

As a matter of fact, I am healthier in middle age than I was in my teens, due to having had undiagnosed chronic health problems in my youth. (Touch wood - little Mr Covid could still play hob with that...) But I still hate age milestones..

@WhereTheCrawdadsSing

I don't know...I look at people in their 60s and 70s where I live with enormous, beautiful houses they bought cheaply back in the day and amazing pensions and some days think, "actually, I'd take the wrinkles and dodgy hips, (I am doomed to have these as every woman in my family did as soon as they hit 60), for that" ! I know every generation has their challenges to face, but certainly, those now in early ish retirement where i live appear to be having a lovely time.

Also, my mum never made it to 60 bless her, so I often have a phrase she actually taught me which was, "getting old is better than the alternative".

So, YABU. I wouldn't want to be any younger than I am tbh and think there's quite a lot to be said for being older .

This, a million times.

My mum didn't live past 41 either. Dad used to say ''Getting old is better than the alternative''' too.
Sure older people bought big houses relatively cheaply compared to these days.. eg, £10k sold for £1,350,000 ... plus that generation had free education, and the NHS was good..less cuts. Plus decent pensions.

@pigsDOfly yes! Depressing twaddle indeed. I am overweight (but a size 12 so not terribly fat per say) but no wrinkles or grey hair and I don’t think I should feel old or depressed but these sorts of post and the comments of some other women do make me feel as though I should feel bad about my age and “past it”. Yet looking back to being a little girl and seeing female relatives of my current age, I thought they were so beautiful...not past it at all.

It’s pathetic really. I just don’t want to buy into it. Feeling bad about being childless at my age is one thing. Feeling bad because I’m over 25? Not for me thanks. I plan on being awesome at whatever age I get to...hopefully a yoga going, tap dancing 90 year old with a long silver plait, a big smile on her face and a shit ton of wisdom.

It’s as simple as it’s all relative really. If you were to be that typical stereotype of thinking the younger ones have it easier, then you’re just making things difficult for no reason.

@CatRamsey

People who are missing their youth, don't realise how exhausting it can be these days. I blame social media and I feel bad for young people who are glued to what everyone thinks at all times. It's sad. Generally older women are established, so don't really care in that same way anymore but younger women are judged harshly with their photos, likes, comments, etc.