To think people don’t realise how lucky they are when it comes to age

[thedaywewillremeber]

Ds1 has his friend round today. She’s turning 25 tomorrow and she kept saying how she was getting old and how pressured she is due to her age etc. Aibu as someone in their 40’s to say she doesn’t realise how lucky she is to be that young?

I think it’s not so much about literally feeling old but as she says it’s because there are social pressures to have achieved certain things by a certain age. Plus the implicit social implication that women are over the hill by the age of 25.

I think it’s not so much about literally feeling old but as she says it’s because there are social pressures to have achieved certain things by a certain age. Plus the implicit social implication that women are over the hill by the age of 25

We understand that, but as you get even older you can come to realise it is all a crock of shit.

Which is AMAZING.

I distinctly remember a friend of mine complaining on her 19th birthday “I’m not young anymore!” . And another friend moaning that we were “past it” at 24. They look back and laugh now we are in our 40s. People rarely appreciate what they’ve got while they’ve got it. I think it’s just a natural part of being human.

I was an insecure, dependent, miserable, easily exploited twentysomething. I believed I was useless, hideous and past it. Completely dependent on an abusive man.

Now I'm nearly 40 - I have boundaries, a job I love, a realistic view of my own worth. Much better.

I’m not really sure what you mean at all tbh.

Everyone who is over 25 used to be 25 so how are they lucky to be something that you also were?

I guess sometimes I think someone might be lucky to have say met their partner at a young age (and escaped miserable 20s I’d flat sharing and bad boyfriends that I had) or lucky to have a decent job at a young age or whatever but I never look at someone and think they are lucky to be young because we’re all young once and no one gets any greater shot at being young than anyone else.

Aibu as someone in their 40’s to say she doesn’t realise how lucky she is to be that young? I think the word you're looking for isn't unreasonable, it's patronising... AIBP

(or maybe I'm just in a bad mood?)

I see where you’re coming from - I sometimes wish I could turn back the clock. But I was miserable in my mid to late twenties and really depressed as I hit thirty. I really enjoyed my thirties, I think the unhappiness and pressure I felt in my twenties was the springboard to change and I realised I didn’t have to conform to society’s ideals quite so much. I felt real pressure to be sorted by 30 and my career felt stifling and I was single whilst everyone around me partnered up and had the kids I had hoped for. I felt added pressure somehow by my mum always having told me 28 was the best age she’d experienced and how she’d loved her late twenties in general. Shows it depends what’s going on in your life and your experiences to date.
I think I probably enjoyed my thirties more than some of my friends did, and had no problem turning 40 like many of them did, partly because I’d been though hard times and it was all relative to me and I knew what to appreciate and had developed rather than just gone with the flow.

The best way to make yourself look and feel young is to hang around with old people.