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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Over Sensitive DH or AIBU

99 replies

stressedandunsure2020 · 07/09/2020 10:10

Like many parents, DD(4) has just started reception. A couple of half days last week, a few half days this week and then full time. Hence all sorts of emotions from me and DH.

For background, as usual in our household, I have sorted out all of the admin etc for DD starting school. Paperwork, uniform shopping etc. There were no transition days due to the current situation but there was a meet up arranged via Social Media with some of the other parents and children which I took DD to (not DH's thing, but he moaned he couldn't make it due to work - I took half a days leave)

We've worked throughout lockdown (I appreciate we are both very lucky in that fact) and whereas DH has had to go to work as his job can't be done from home, I have worked from home which has meant most of the childcare and home schooling etc has fallen to me. Work have understood this as everyone is in the same situation and haven't minded that sometimes (may be 1 or 2 evenings a week)I have had to log on later in the evening etc, but DH has spent all of lockdown moaning that I have had to work in the evening and not spending enough time with him.

Anyway onto this morning and we are lucky that DD's new school is a 5 minute walk away (probably 10 with DD). As I am at home still and DH is on an afternoon shift this week we both walked her down. On the way she was holding hands with Dh, then wanted to hold all of our hands - all fine. At one point the path gets a bit narrower so we can't all hold hands, so DD chose to carry on holding mine, which put DH in a bad mood.

DD is on half days this week but then stays for dinner one day before starting school days. Her first dinner day is Wednesday (have told DH this at least 5 times) so on the walk this morning he starts talking to her about dinner choices and how she is going to be eating at school today. I didn't correct him as I thought it was a nice conversation to get her used to the idea of choosing her food, and then when I did say it was not today got shouted at for not telling him the right information.

We then got to the school and were queuing up to drop her off when Dh asked her for a cuddle and kiss. When I asked her for the same, I got a snide comment of 'knew you would have to have one as well' and then a sulking DH.

When we got home DH shouted at me for always having to be the centre of attention, that he was having a really nice walk with DD, and I have to interfere. That I always make it about me and that I should of just let go of DD's hand and walked behind them so he could carry on having some time with her.

Happy to be told I am being unreasonable, school runs like this are all new to me, prior to this DD had been in a private day nursery so it's always been one of us dropping her off and has involved a drive to the nursery so I know it's all about finding a new normal and a new routine. Once the first few days are over, only one of us will be doing the school run I guess which will probably make a difference.

OP posts:
FallonsTeaRoom · 07/09/2020 10:13

Think you've got 2 children there! Confused

Finfintytint · 07/09/2020 10:14

Yes, you have a second child.

beautifulxdisasters · 07/09/2020 10:15

He sounds horrible OP.

And the irony of him saying you like to be the centre of attention when he couldn't even cope with not being the only one who got a cuddle Hmm

MissOrganisedMe · 07/09/2020 10:16

Fuuuuuuck that! Is he a child?! Does he often behave like that?

Mummypigisalwaysright · 07/09/2020 10:16

Wow, that is so not normal. Does he always act this way? Sounds to me like he wants to be the centre of attention!

Temp123999 · 07/09/2020 10:18

So he's jealous that DD held your hand I would have said "okay let DD walk alone and I'll hold your hand"
He sounds like a toddler.

AryaStarkWolf · 07/09/2020 10:18

He didn't want you to hug your child good bye on her first day of school? wtf? What a dick head

ErickBroch · 07/09/2020 10:18

He is awful. I honestly would leave him because that attittude is always going to stay. Men (or women) who sulk and manipulate emotionally are 0/10.

Nottherealslimshady · 07/09/2020 10:19

God he sounds jealous that he has to share her with you. Does he spend any other time with her?

Soubriquet · 07/09/2020 10:19

Yanbu

He sounds really paranoid and childish.

Of course you want a kiss and a cuddle too. Why wouldn’t you?

EatDessertFirst · 07/09/2020 10:20

What is it with manchild DHs and school runs??

Ask him if he needs a nap and his blankie after his silly tantrum. How attractive.

MagMell · 07/09/2020 10:20

Frankly, he needs to cop on. Whiny, self-indulgent, unable or unwilling to keep track of some very basic details of his child's life.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 07/09/2020 10:21

Sorry OP you seem to be married to an absolute cunt. I wouldn't put up with any of that shit.

CoffeeRunner · 07/09/2020 10:22

Ahh. It sounds like you have a self absorbed man child.

When he accuses you of wanting to be “centre of attention” he of course means that he’s pissed off because he wanted to be “centre of attention”. Totally overlooking the fact that if anyone should have been centre of attention it would have been DD.

Is he always like this? Did he sulk after DD was born because the midwives didn’t ask how he was feeling too? (I actually know a new father who did this. Midwife in hospital asked how a friend’s pain was following birth. Her DP complained that he wasn’t asked as watching the delivery had been rough on him too.)

justanotherneighinparadise · 07/09/2020 10:22

What a healthy relationship you seem to have there OP Confused

Shoxfordian · 07/09/2020 10:24

Wtf have I just read? Why are you putting up with this shit?

ColleagueFromMars · 07/09/2020 10:26

He was a massive pathetic manchild. I don't know how you can bear to cohabit with somebody like that, let alone sleep with him Confused

Ceilingfan · 07/09/2020 10:28

Woah, F@#K that!

What a sad, sad man child

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/09/2020 10:35

Can you really be bothered?

Turning a special time to all about what he wants and he needs and bringing you down so it takes the shine off what should have been a happy memory.

All I can say is I know a lot of single parents who are really happy that they don’t have to put up with this sort of shit ever again

TheHappyHerbivore · 07/09/2020 10:36

What’s with all the men being cunts about the school drop off today?

He’s an arsehole, OP. I personally couldn’t live with it.

Itsrainingnotmen · 07/09/2020 10:38

Hard to believe you shagged him at least once op.
What a man child.

HollowTalk · 07/09/2020 10:42

It's so horrible to think that some women have to live with men like this. He sounds so childish and nasty.

dollypartonscoat · 07/09/2020 10:45

So he shouted at you during the walk to school after confusing your daughter about her lunch routine? Confused

Wnikat · 07/09/2020 10:46

Has he always been like this? Shouting at you like this is quite abusive behaviour. Is he having any struggles with his mental health?

Serendipity79 · 07/09/2020 10:47

I feel a lot of relationships wont survive 2020...… Covid seems to have shown a lot of people how selfish and immature their partners truly are!

Getting that het up over a school run is ridiculous, so is moaning about not spending time together when you've been trying to work, parent, housekeep and homeschool all at the same time!

I'm single and I am relieved that although my life is stressful doing 100% of the work - I left a man like this, and I cant ever imagine wanting to go back to living with a man child ever again.