Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Over Sensitive DH or AIBU

99 replies

stressedandunsure2020 · 07/09/2020 10:10

Like many parents, DD(4) has just started reception. A couple of half days last week, a few half days this week and then full time. Hence all sorts of emotions from me and DH.

For background, as usual in our household, I have sorted out all of the admin etc for DD starting school. Paperwork, uniform shopping etc. There were no transition days due to the current situation but there was a meet up arranged via Social Media with some of the other parents and children which I took DD to (not DH's thing, but he moaned he couldn't make it due to work - I took half a days leave)

We've worked throughout lockdown (I appreciate we are both very lucky in that fact) and whereas DH has had to go to work as his job can't be done from home, I have worked from home which has meant most of the childcare and home schooling etc has fallen to me. Work have understood this as everyone is in the same situation and haven't minded that sometimes (may be 1 or 2 evenings a week)I have had to log on later in the evening etc, but DH has spent all of lockdown moaning that I have had to work in the evening and not spending enough time with him.

Anyway onto this morning and we are lucky that DD's new school is a 5 minute walk away (probably 10 with DD). As I am at home still and DH is on an afternoon shift this week we both walked her down. On the way she was holding hands with Dh, then wanted to hold all of our hands - all fine. At one point the path gets a bit narrower so we can't all hold hands, so DD chose to carry on holding mine, which put DH in a bad mood.

DD is on half days this week but then stays for dinner one day before starting school days. Her first dinner day is Wednesday (have told DH this at least 5 times) so on the walk this morning he starts talking to her about dinner choices and how she is going to be eating at school today. I didn't correct him as I thought it was a nice conversation to get her used to the idea of choosing her food, and then when I did say it was not today got shouted at for not telling him the right information.

We then got to the school and were queuing up to drop her off when Dh asked her for a cuddle and kiss. When I asked her for the same, I got a snide comment of 'knew you would have to have one as well' and then a sulking DH.

When we got home DH shouted at me for always having to be the centre of attention, that he was having a really nice walk with DD, and I have to interfere. That I always make it about me and that I should of just let go of DD's hand and walked behind them so he could carry on having some time with her.

Happy to be told I am being unreasonable, school runs like this are all new to me, prior to this DD had been in a private day nursery so it's always been one of us dropping her off and has involved a drive to the nursery so I know it's all about finding a new normal and a new routine. Once the first few days are over, only one of us will be doing the school run I guess which will probably make a difference.

OP posts:
RoseMartha · 07/09/2020 13:27

He sounds like my ex husband

🤗🤗

Glitteryone · 07/09/2020 13:46

Dear lord. This is not normal.

emilybrontescorsett · 07/09/2020 13:49

This isn't right. He sounds childish. I couldn't cope with all this bickering.

HarrisonFived · 07/09/2020 13:56

Can I ask, @stressedandunsure2020 , and I'm really interested to know so I hope you don't mind me asking - has all of this jealousy about activities with DD become worse as she becomes more independent? As in, was he desperate to jump in and spend time with her after late shifts when she was going through her terrible twos? Has he consistently wanted to spend time with her like this, or is he more interested now that she's 'easier to manage' and more like a little girl? I have my suspicions, but I don't want to make any unfair assumptions.

Ceilingfan · 07/09/2020 14:27

Get. The. Heck. Out. Of. That. Relationship! 💐

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 07/09/2020 14:30

I bet you’re on edge. He can make a fuss about anything!

FinallyHere · 07/09/2020 15:51

I bet you’re on edge

Well, yes, isn't that why he does it? To get the attention back on him.

It really is horrible. Sad. What it isn't, is acceptable.

folkloreore · 07/09/2020 16:33

He's not sensitive. He's a controlling sulky bully.

You and your DD deserve better OP.

Bluesheep8 · 07/09/2020 16:52

Wow. Your daughter sounds more mature.

ShakerCan · 07/09/2020 17:17

Wow! What a man-child you’re married to there.
He’s given me the ick just from your posts.
Tell him to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a big baby. He’d be gone if I was married to such a wuss of a man.

Angelina82 · 07/09/2020 17:19

I think you are being kind when you describe your husband as over sensitive. The jealous and possessive behaviour he displays towards your DD is very weird, and I would kick him out for being passive aggressive and verbally aggressive when you have done nothing wrong at all! Confused

Marshmallow91 · 07/09/2020 17:23

Wtf did I just read. Your update makes him sound even worse. @updownroundandround put it absolutely perfectly in my opinion.

The only thing I could muster to say to him would be "fuck fucking off, you fucking fuck, and then when you've fucking finished fucking off, fuck off some more"

AliceAbsolum · 07/09/2020 17:27

You need to leave with your child.

This will only get worse.

Please ask for help OP.

AntiHop · 07/09/2020 17:27

He sounds so immature and exhausting.

Iloveacurry · 07/09/2020 17:29

It’s like having a second child!

hopeishere · 07/09/2020 17:33

That is just weird and awful at the same time.

MerchantOfVenom · 07/09/2020 19:23

I have zero tolerance for people who are so needy for attention that they force it on themselves by behaving badly - because negative attention is better than no attention at all.

I’ve told my kids on the rare occasion their friends have displayed such behaviour, that they’re not welcome in our home, and they (my kids) totally get it.

I thought it was something people grew out of in their tweens / teens.

But no - apparently grown ass men can behave in such a revolting fashion.

Grim.

GhostCurry · 07/09/2020 19:38

OP, I know people can really pile on in this place, and it can get a bit “yeah ok I get the point” - but honestly, he sounds utterly awful. He should be embarrassed. He is not normal and I could only have contempt for him.

Merryoldgoat · 07/09/2020 19:55

Your husband is a prick. How you can bring yourself to sleep with him is beyond me.

All that moaning sounds utterly vile.

Shizzlestix · 07/09/2020 20:22

Please don’t have more with him! He sounds like a child himself. He gets a cuddle, you’re not allowed because it spoils it for him, wtaf?! Batshit.

updownroundandround · 08/09/2020 14:56

@ Marshmallow91

That was the perfect addition Grin

SingingInTheShithouse · 08/09/2020 15:05

Seriously Shock

He needs to grow the fuck up, he's her DF not her bloody sibling.

He is waaaaayyyy beyond over sensitive & well into the realms of control freakery with his unbelievably childish behaviour

SingingInTheShithouse · 08/09/2020 15:10

Just spotted your update. Trust me this will not get better, he is a narcissistic man child. Just pack his bag & be done with this pathetic mans drama, you have a child to bring up, nobody needs this childish attention seeking behaviour from a partner, that's what kids are for

Wakemeupwhenthisisover · 08/09/2020 16:53

What the fuck!!?? He sounds awful? Please say this is completely out of character for him and you’re so confused as to what brought it on? If it’s not then you have some serious thinking to do about if his nastiness is worth the happiness he brings (does he bring any happiness?!)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread