To want to clear my name?

[idontthinkicare]

If someone was telling very serious lies about you but they had been proven to be malicious and no action was taken.
People believed them still ..would you try and make those people see that the other person is a liar?

It all depends what the context is and who took no action.

Example, If you've been accused of being a thief and there was an official investigation and you were cleared but the accuser wasn't censured, then you can state that factually to anyone.

Generally, liars do usually out themselves several times over, so you'd just need to wait for them to do that.

People aren't stupid, they can see when someone's saying things maliciously. They can also think about you that 'she protests too much' so consider that before you go on a crusade to clear your name.

It’s hard to know without knowing the details of the situation.
It’s hard to convince people what they believe is wrong. Are these people you actually care about?

I’ve had this and no. I wouldn’t bother to try to change peoples minds. If they are willing to believe the lies without question then they are not people you need in your life, much less as friends. Move on. Yeah it’s hard but you’ll find that a lot of those who believe things without question would probably say one thing to your face and then still go running back to the person who make the accusations as if they’re their best mate anyway.

I mean it does depend on what was said- in my case it was horrible hateful bile spewing that hurt me and damaged peoples opinions of me, but it wasn’t like I was being accused of something illegal. I think if it was a really serious accusation- child molesting or money laundering for instance- then I’d have been more inclined to attempt to clear my name, but I wouldn’t have had any expectations of a relationship with those whose immediate response to hearing the accusations was to believe them and side with the accuser. It would be nice if people would admit that they were wrong and to apologise but I invariably find that those who struggle to do so aren’t worth the bother anyway.

I was a carer for my mum.
I had savings of my own.
My mum was quite poorly and I was in charge of her finances.
This person (an ex friend) rang the police stating I was stealing my mums money.
After showing social services bank statements/receipts the knew this call was malicious.
This "friend" told my other "friends" this and they believed her.
They don't know it's been investigated and they keep dropping sly comments about people going to jail for fraud.
My mum died last week and I'm heartbroken.
This bitch has made my life hell and people I thought were my friend believed her.
I want to tell them that someone was in touch and they realised it was malicious and more fool them for believing her poison.

I have bank statements and receipts which I could show these girls to prove she was lying.
I could show my bank account with my savings in to prove how I could afford treats etc

I don’t think it’s worth it. Real friends would believe you. Anyone that doesn’t needs to be dropped.

They're not friends OP. Ditch the lot of them and hold your head up because you know the truth. Some people are shit stirrers and then some are shit followers and neither are worth keeping around.

Sorry for your loss x

I'd probably tell them at the same time as you tell them that you are no longer interested in maintaining a friendship with any of them.

I would absolutely confront them.

Next time they make a sly joke say, “Are you referring to the lies X has been spreading about me? Because the police investigated and I was exonerated and they found the complaint to be false, I have plenty of proof if you want to see it.”

None of this turning the other cheek nonsense. Liars need to be exposed.

This girl knows how close me and my mum were.
How much I loved her,I've lost my gran too last week.
Two in a week

If you have money surely you could see a solicitor about getting a letter sent? You can't just slander people.

www.lawble.co.uk/slander/

I looked after mum and gran and loved them both.
They my everything.
Imagine if her lies had got those taken away into a care home.
Does she feel no guilt ?

And for your losses

I had the same thing happen - a woman who was part of my work group made up lies about everyone and it caused so much turmoil. The people who listened to her lies were not bad people, they just didn’t know what was going on.

Exposing her was necessary to save everyone else.

Do you think if I tell them that it was deemed malicious they will realise she's poison and a liar ?

Do you have anything in writing from the police?

I'm sorry for your loss
Yes, I'd say something, some people are just vile

If anyone hints about jail, fraud and the like then I would tell them outright that I know what they are referring to and the allegations were proved to be a tissue of lies-show them proof if you think that would help.

I might also get a solicitor to send a letter to the person spreading the lies or I might go along to see her myself and tell her that she will get in trouble if she persists. I think I would do that in a public place where others could hear me.

But finally, whether you do these things or not, try to put it out of your mind and remember that the people who are so willing to believe bad of you are not your friends, never were and never will be.

No it wasn't actually the police who came knocking it was the social services.
After looking at bank statements etc they said they could tell it was malicious and everything was in order.
They just told me they have to investigate everything and that was 7 months ago.
Never seen them again

Just sent a group message to them all. I would, along the lines of I have lost two people who meant the most to me, I have had to undergo a police investigation ,because one of you reported me to them, which absolutely cleared me of any wrong doing, I have had to listen to you all continue to maliciously lie and be nasty to me at the worst time in my life. I hope you are all happy with your appalling behaviour towards someone who was a friend. You have chosen to believe one person rather than approach me for the truth, thus indicating what nasty people you actually are. Just be warned one day she will do this to you

Then I would block them all and move on

If she believed that to be true then she did the right thing. She was wrong and I wouldn't be friends with her again.

No idea why you didn't immediately shut down the other friends though and put them right. They continue to believe it must be true because otherwise you'd have said so?

Get them told. Sorry for your loss

@dollypartonscoat she didn't believe that to be true.
We had a fall out over her owing me money.
Then she told more lies about me then finally this was the last thing she could hurt me with.

@dollypartonscoat Also I didn't mention to them that anything had happened.
I didn't have prove it was her till the last two weeks when these other girls have been saying things that could only mean they knew about it.

*proof

Im so sorry this happened to you, especially when you were at a low ebb.

The difficult bit I find is growing a thick skin, so that stuff like this is 'water off a duck's back' as it were.

I've had plenty of practice in recent years. Due in part to malicious people living not far away. I later found out (who would have guessed) that they had dark secrets of their own...

Sometimes people who make these complaints don't realise the impact they have on those who are the target. And I know that SS have to follow up everything just in case, but it can really knock your confidence. Especially since I should imagine it is difficult at times being a carer anyway, as it is difficult at times looking after a child.

Try to be proud that you were loving and kind to the person you were looking after. That's important.