Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to throttle a girl who works for my husband????

27 replies

glaskham · 06/10/2007 18:02

long story....here goes, she works for my husband, constantly flirts with him, even when i'm there, he though she just wanted to be friends, but she started texting him random, sometimes inapropraite things (she needs his number just in case she's ill or something so cant block her)....he's too nice to say anything to her and cant do anything in the way of sacking her as by law she's done nothing wrong!! she started telling other people who work there she'd been having an affair with him and has been spreading vicious rumours about me and my hubby splitting up cuz i'd found out.....i tried to confront her about it hoping she would be all grown up but she went screaming to her mum and her mother phoned my hubby at work threatening to go to the police if i bother her again!!! its been going on for months, and its gotten so bad we are considering moving away from our family and friends for hubby to get a new job and get rid of her!!!

would it not just be easier for me to strangle her and bury her in a ditch???? am i over-reacting??????

OP posts:
professorplum · 06/10/2007 18:06

Is your dh self employed?

Original poster
glaskham · 06/10/2007 18:07

nope- works for a company as store manager....

OP posts:
DANCESwithHughJackman · 06/10/2007 18:08

Does this not come under some sort of 'harassment' under the law? Could you seek legal advise from Citizen's advice bureau or you can sometimes get free legal advise from your home insurers too.

lilacclaire · 06/10/2007 18:09

Not if its true.
Why doesn't your hubby do something?
Surely he's not going to move etc just because he's 'too nice'

Desiderata · 06/10/2007 18:09

If it was a man behaving in this way, it would be a clear-cut case of sexual harassment.

It sounds like you need to pursue a legal route?

haychEebeeJeebees · 06/10/2007 18:10

Strangle her and bury her in a ditch would be the best solution.

haychEebeeJeebees · 06/10/2007 18:11

Surely your dh can be a bit more firm with her and tell her straight? I know you said, hes too nice. But to consider moving away is just soo drastic. Tell him to sort it out once and for all!

professorplum · 06/10/2007 18:12

Can he make a complaint to HR? He should keep a diary of inappropriate remarks etc and keep all texts etc. If he can get someone else to back him up who has heard the comments and who has been told by her that they are having an affair then he should be able to make a harrassment complaint.

haychEebeeJeebees · 06/10/2007 18:12

Or, if not you will strangle him and bury him in the same ditch as her.

shyandretiring · 06/10/2007 18:12

did she have a probationary period?
or is that too late?

let her go to the police!

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 06/10/2007 18:13

I'd pursue a legal route. It's sexual harrassment and has the potential to become bonkers stalker-stylee.

Earlybird · 06/10/2007 18:16

Get your dh to change his mobile number, and do not give her the new number. He can then provide your mobile number in the case of any emergencies that arise. You, of course, will be happy to pass along any messages.....but don't be confrontational, or get drawn in. Keep your distance, as she sounds unbalanced.

If needs be, you and your dh can use her texts as evidence of inappropriate behaviour.

pennlope1 · 06/10/2007 18:19

this sounds like a young immature girl with no life trying to cause trouble between you and dh , don't give her the satisfaction that she is getting to you ,very hard i know but keep a diary of everything that she does& you can go down the harrsament route !!!!

Original poster
glaskham · 06/10/2007 18:28

the area manager actually heard the rumour and confronted my dh about it but he said what should i do and his area manager just laughed and said he would if he got the chance!!! so my dh feels that moving to the head office (where we did intend for him to work his way to there in the next few years anyway) but i just dont feel ready to move and all because of her, we are missing nights out with his other 'real' workmates because she will be there and even considering not going to the xmas party because she'd be going!! i dont know if i can stand it- i'm not a person for confrontation especially something as delicate as this.....

hubby is trying to pull her up on every mistake she makes and hopes he can 'loose her' through them in the near future....she is over her probation, and it all (exept the flirting) has stared since then. he asked her to stop texting him or he'd have to change his number and she could then only contact him through work and she is finding any reason to text him this last few weeks about work.... 'what shirt am i on?' 'i might be a bit late' had to iron my top will be there in a mo' sort of thing.....we cant use that as evidence she's been like she has in the past!!

think we might get some advice from citizens advice bureau!!

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 06/10/2007 18:38

your DH must not take the approach of pulling her up over mistakes, it could seriously backfire and give her ammunition to use against him. He must take this problem to a higher level, officially. I think your DH's manager behaved appallingly and should be reported too.

TheLordFlasheart · 06/10/2007 18:39

Strangle her and bury her in a ditch, yes it has a lot to recommend it. It does however lack something in the deterrence area.
I would go with the original strangling, then dismember her still twitching corpse and post her head on a stake at her workplace with a suitable caption under it. Yes it does have some disadvantages but it makes up for them in the clarity of the message you give out.

DANCESwithHughJackman · 06/10/2007 18:40

lol flasheart

lucyellensmum · 06/10/2007 18:40

alternatively the ditch is an attractive option.

Tottie32 · 06/10/2007 18:46

is your husband abpe to block her number,,

Original poster
glaskham · 06/10/2007 18:55

he is but it is company policy that the manager has a mobile and that his staff can call them just in case they are sick, or he needs to sort something out.... however much he wants to block her he cant for that reason.

OP posts:
Dior · 06/10/2007 18:56

Message withdrawn

Original poster
glaskham · 06/10/2007 19:03

no- i think he would happily do that if its what we both wanted- he just didn't know if texts and flirting could be classed as that....i suppose i didn't either!! bit naive that way i think!!! might not be what she's expecting too!!

OP posts:
Dior · 06/10/2007 19:04

Message withdrawn

Earthymama · 06/10/2007 19:26

He should contact HR and tell them the situation as you have described including his line manager's attitude, that he intends to forward ALL texts from her to a number they provide, and that he insists that they monitor the situation.

He is being harrassed and it's ridiculous that you can't socialise because of her behaviour.

You then invite the girl to your local MN Xmas meet-up and let everyone explain how very, very wrong she is. She'll strangle herself and get in the ditch!

RoxyNotFoxy · 06/10/2007 19:34

Best thing is for him to develop some really nasty habits for when she's in the vicinity, like picking his nose, scratching his arse, scratching his balls, lifting his leg and farting, pulling hairs out of his nostrils with tweezers, clearing his tubes by going "hoik thew" into the waste-bin... A few weeks of that will soon wear down her infatuation and she'll be requesting a transfer in no time at all. Just make sure he doesn't bring those habits home with him.