Children mustn't see grandparents until vaccine found?

[Witterywoman]

Now that the kids are back at school, SIL has said her kids must isolate from both sets of grandparents in case they give them Covid picked up at school, and this must continue until a vaccine is found. All 4 grandparents are over 70 but healthy, no health conditions to speak of. My parents are particularly upset and don't understand it. I don't get it either and don't intend to stop them seeing my kids.

Are we missing something?

My Mum didn't see her grandchildren for a couple of months because of lockdown and she was miserable. They did regular video chats but it wasn't the same. She sees them now about once every 10 days and social distances which seems a far more sensible solution. I really think going much longer without seeing them would have had a massive impact on her MH

This virus is going to be around for a long time people can't just put their lives on hold.

Surely, given that it is the grandparents at risk, they should make the decision for themselves?

I think there is a sensible balance between not spreading Covid and some pleasure in life.

Big indoor gatherings are stupid and selfish, but. Grandparents seeing their grandchildren seems nice if the grandparents want to.

The denial is really depressing on this thread, its as if 45,000 people never really died, and the conservative but reasonable worst case scenario for the next wave this coming season is 85,000 deaths is just irrelevant.
Until it happens to you or your mother that is.

@Nannyogg my point was that saying they wont see them until their is a vaccine is also a risk as we may not get one so i personally see my nan and my kids see their gp but socially distanced , we wash hands etc , my nan is 87 so can't wait for incase we get a vaccine we just are careful

Seems excessive to me - I don’t see why an outside SD visit isn’t possible.

There may never be a vaccine so what then?

Unless as suggested elsewhere it’s a convenient excuse...

@MaxNormal

PerveenMistry you sound very, very anxious. I'm not sure what you've read to make you think it's somehow the worst death in the world, bar none. Or that it's particularly dangerous for younger age groups.

I work with immunologists including two that trained with the US Army pandemic team. And one who did his residency in San Francisco in the 80s as the AIDS crisis flared up.

Taking my cues from them. They are healthy mature men in leadership roles in their field , researchers as well as physicians, and knowing what they do, they are taking extreme precautions. And advising their families to do the same.

God just hope we weren't carrying it to my aunt and uncle, but if we were yes I will feel awful but we so loved seeing each other. uncle has beem really miz and has been having issues, they havnt got any other family near although have been seeing a few friends outside. we need to look after our older generation in a variety of ways imo not just "keeping them safe" which seems to mean not seeing them at all for many, wtf.

I work in a school, along with three friends (different sites). All of us have tried to see our parents in the holidays as we consider the risk too high. Back at work this week and for me nothing has changed, back to doorstop chats and I'll try to get a couple of distanced walks in before it gets too cold.

Friendsoftheearth
10,000 people die every week.

A friend is absolutely and utterly racked with guilt because when his mother died of cancer a few months ago he was not able to comply with her wishes or her will regarding her death and her funeral.

Another friend lost her husband to a stroke right at the start of lockdown.
She has been unable to grieve with her family.

There is more in the world than COVID

@Friendsoftheearth

The denial is really depressing on this thread, its as if 45,000 people never really died, and the conservative but reasonable worst case scenario for the next wave this coming season is 85,000 deaths is just irrelevant. Until it happens to you or your mother that is.

Agree. It's depressing to see the willful indifference to the risk.

@PerveenMistry precautions or not seeing oldies at all? there's a difference hence this thread.

Well so long as she’s aware that might be never then! We’ve not yet ever managed to create a vaccine for a coronavirus.
Covid-19 appears to be decreasing in potency and, if that continues, the urgency to create an effective and safe vaccine will diminish.

Tough one.

On the one hand, it should be up to the GPs as to what risks they want to take. On the other, your SiL doesn't want to be responsible for them getting sick. The best course is to wait and see what impact the schools going back have in your area and then decide if it's safe.

It’s not indifference. It’s risk calculation and a sense of perspective

PerveenMistry they don't have any special knowlege of the virus that I lack. I have a statistics degree so am well able to interpret the numbers. People just draw their own, differing conclusions and have different risk tolerances.

And before you accuse me of being selfish (that's a really tedious one, by the way, assuming that everyone who doesn't agree with you is out breathing on grannies), I don't personally break the rules or behave in a way that is likely to endanger anybody.

But so much of the measures taken are performative and won't make a blind bit of difference to curbing the spread. I was at a zoo yesterday - timed entry slots and one-way markers. The reality was that people were very much not maintaining the two-metre rule. Not for badness, just that most societies have an unconscious agreement on personal space and distances and it's really hard to go against that unless you consciously think about it all the time.

Society as a whole won't carry on like this forever. You'll see a lot more impatience once furlough ends and the financial impact really starts to bite. But also, there is no way that younger people are not going to go out, mix, get drunk, snog each other.... anyone who thinks that can be enforced for any length of time is deluded.

We are only seeing grandparents at a distance but they are very old, have already had cancer and have issues with organ failure.

@PerveenMistry we take risks every day and if a 87 year old wants to risk seeing their gc , which can be done socially distanced and as sensibly as possible then why not

So many experts!!

I'd stick with more reliable sources of information about COVID.

listening I have experience of being extremely ill in hospital more than once, and I can say for sure that dying from covid will be the worst way to die for most people. Perhaps you don't have friends that have been on the front line dealing with this, but I do and have heard my fair share of absolute horror stories. It is not the way most people wish to leave the world, particularly if they were able to avoid it.

If you have cancer or a stroke that is unfortunate and unlucky and could not be avoided, but it IS possible if you are careful to avoid catching and dying from covid. It is entirely preventable for the elderly most at risk. And that is my issue with it. It is putting people at risk when it can be so easily avoided is wrong.

A sd walk is fine but visits in the house and hugging etc, once dc are in school is really grossly irresponsible.

Your SIL is off her head. Also the risk to (otherwise healthy) over 70s is not “very high”. Even in people over 85 it’s much more likely they’ll survive than die.

I can say for sure that dying from covid will be the worst way to die for most people

Having seen my mother die of cancer, I highly doubt that.

[quote stovetopespresso]@PerveenMistry precautions or not seeing oldies at all? there's a difference hence this thread.[/quote]
They are not mingling with their own grandchildren, not going out except for food and are seeing patients virtually. And these are men who have been physician-researchers for 35 years, run teams of researchers, are called by government agencies to give expert testimony, etc. If they don't think 2 metres is enough distance, and they don't, then I'm happy to stay isolated as well. I don't want to needlessly die in ICU strangling on my own blood.

I honestly think if I was in my 70s I’d rather just get on sensibly with my life than spend the rest of it cowering away in fear and not getting to see loved ones. What kind of existence is that?

Plus having seen my gran die a horrific death from a stroke, I’d honestly rather she’d have had Covid. It was months of pure hell for her.

@Friendsoftheearth

listening I have experience of being extremely ill in hospital more than once, and I can say for sure that dying from covid will be the worst way to die for most people. Perhaps you don't have friends that have been on the front line dealing with this, but I do and have heard my fair share of absolute horror stories. It is not the way most people wish to leave the world, particularly if they were able to avoid it.

If you have cancer or a stroke that is unfortunate and unlucky and could not be avoided, but it IS possible if you are careful to avoid catching and dying from covid. It is entirely preventable for the elderly most at risk. And that is my issue with it. It is putting people at risk when it can be so easily avoided is wrong.

A sd walk is fine but visits in the house and hugging etc, once dc are in school is really grossly irresponsible.

That’s a lot of old tosh.

I can imagine a whole host of ways of dying that could be worse.

It’s absolutely possible to avoid or significantly reduce your chances of getting cancer or having a stroke.

And the SIL isn’t even permitting a SD walk outside so you’re missing the point!

@PerveenMistry lucky for you , you must not need to work as most of us do
We all want to eat and supermarket workers have to work and can inly maintain the 2 m at most