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Original poster

Children mustn't see grandparents until vaccine found?

551 replies

Witterywoman · 04/09/2020 14:05

Now that the kids are back at school, SIL has said her kids must isolate from both sets of grandparents in case they give them Covid picked up at school, and this must continue until a vaccine is found. All 4 grandparents are over 70 but healthy, no health conditions to speak of. My parents are particularly upset and don't understand it. I don't get it either and don't intend to stop them seeing my kids.

Are we missing something?

OP posts:
stovetopespresso · 04/09/2020 16:20

@MintyMabel you just said you take dcs to see GPs which is the total opposite of what op's SIL is doing. I don't understand your point?

ListeningQuietly · 04/09/2020 16:30

People can catch COVID

  • at a restaurant
  • at work
  • on holiday
They can also die of many many other things

Kids are vectors of disease every winter
there is so much over reaction about COVID

Friendsoftheearth · 04/09/2020 16:31

question There is a vaccine for flu, there isn't from covid. At the moment we are at May's level of infection rate, it is bound to increase in the coming weeks due to schools reopening. People are going to feel very differently then. It is easy to say that gps can make the decision, but many will be afraid to cause offence or upset, and others will feel so lonely possibly they will make the wrong decision.

A couple of visits is not worth ending up an ICU dying a really terrifying undignified death all alone is it! Not when we can face time or go out for a SD walk outside where it is safe. Anyone not considering the risks to the elderly members of their family are quite frankly very selfish.

Covid can be avoided, a vaccine is nearly ready, why risk it?!

MrsMayo · 04/09/2020 16:32

I hope she said it in a nice caring way and not bossy. It would probably have really upset the GPs if OP's SIL has said they aren't seeing them until a vaccine is found as this could be never. She could have worded it that she's going to do to do it till we know how schools are affecting the spread of Covid19.

MintyMabel · 04/09/2020 16:33

you just said you take dcs to see GPs which is the total opposite of what op's SIL is doing. I don't understand your point?

I have taken her once, but have put my own restrictions on it which differ from those advised by the government. My point is as parents, we are quite right to make our own rules to go further than the government guidelines, for our own families. If others can't see it is for their protection, that's their issue.

Friendsoftheearth · 04/09/2020 16:34

listening many older people are not doing any of those things, because they are worried, and even if they are, the risk is less because of proximity. You are far closer to sit closely, hug or attend to a child if you are visiting family members and this is less likely in a restaurant/work setting etc.
It is the reason why many areas in the north have banned household to household meet ups, they are known to be far more risky.

MintyMabel · 04/09/2020 16:35

Kids are vectors of disease every winter. there is so much over reaction about COVID

FFS. When will people stop saying this is the same as every other bug?

Are you incapable of seeing the numbers?

Friendsoftheearth · 04/09/2020 16:35

*more likely

Iwantafuckingbreak · 04/09/2020 16:36

I think it should be up to the grandparent if they want to take that risk or not. If the dont then that's 100% understandable but if they do that's up to them and they shouldn't be stopped from seeing the grandchildren.

Who knows when or if there will be a vaccine?!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/09/2020 16:37

There is a vaccine for flu there’s a vaccine for certain flus, not all. Every year the vaccine is tailored to the most prevalent of the season.

Friendsoftheearth · 04/09/2020 16:37

The vaccine should be ready by the end of the year.

IwishIwasyoda · 04/09/2020 16:38

I asked my mum and dad (both 70s) if they wanted to see us now schools back - they do! They aren't prepared to go back to how things were in lockdown.

TempestHayes · 04/09/2020 16:39

Your kids could have given them flu for multiple previous years. You accepted the risk then.

Wash their hands and keep them at 2m distance if you must, but to ban visits entirely is just miserable.

Friendsoftheearth · 04/09/2020 16:41

1940 infections today, we are just shy of 2000 new infections in one day, we have a long way to go this autumn and winter, anyone not recognising the danger and becoming complacent will be in a shock next month. I am sorry but those that are being flippant probably aren't considering the horrific experience of being in ICU with covid. It is not just any old virus, it is one that means you will have to die alone, in pain surrounded by hazmat suits and wires in the worst possible way.

stovetopespresso · 04/09/2020 16:44

I think some of us are getting confused between seeing gps in an individual really sd way and not seeing them at all. um im crap at maths but I think its 100%?

ListeningQuietly · 04/09/2020 16:45

It is not just any old virus, it is one that means you will have to die alone, in pain surrounded by hazmat suits and wires in the worst possible way.
Or in a nursing home - where significant numbers of deaths happened

MJMG2015 · 04/09/2020 16:45

@TinySleepThief

All those saying they would feel bad if the grandparents caught covid from the children would you not feel worse for depriving them of seeing their grandchild if they were to die before a vaccine was developed??

Most 70 year olds still lead pretty full lives, they are just as likely to catch covid from going to work. To be honest even if they did catch covid, and its a big if, theres no way of knowing it would be as a direct result of spending time with their grandchildren.

Well, if the SIL/DIL/GC test positive it's going to be a pretty good bet isn't it

I think it's fine for the GO's to say 'no' but they don't get to decide if other people don't want to risk passing it on.

amicissimma · 04/09/2020 16:45

I think this is one of the saddest things about this epidemic, the number of people who have decided that they are going to deprive their parents of time with much-loved grandchildren. We have no idea when the vaccine will be available, maybe never.

Any of us could die, at any time, for any reason, and as we get older that becomes more likely. So being refused contact with children they love for any part of that potentially shorter time seems terribly cruel.

Different if the GPs are the ones choosing to keep away, but if it's just done to avoid the small risk of the GPs catching Covid and dying, a risk which the GPs themselves are prepared to take but which would make the parents feel bad, it seems very unkind.

PerveenMistry · 04/09/2020 16:45

@MintyMabel

Kids are vectors of disease every winter. there is so much over reaction about COVID

FFS. When will people stop saying this is the same as every other bug?

Are you incapable of seeing the numbers?

Agree, Minty.

This is not the flu. It's just selfishly obtuse to treat it as such.

And it's a really gruesome way to die.

AcrossthePond55 · 04/09/2020 16:45

First off, I'd stay the hell out of it if I were you. No matter which side you come down on you risk your opinion being used as a 'weapon' and you'll end up pissing someone off.

I'd offer NO opinion and if asked by the GP involved I'd refuse to discuss it and say "That's between you and SiL." I'd tell SiL the same if she enlisted my support, "That's between you and GPs. I've made my decision and you have made yours. No need to discuss it".

The decision primarily rests with the parents. If SiL (for whatever reason) feels her DC shouldn't see the grandparents, that is her right. I'm assuming that her DH either agrees with her or won't argue with her about it.

Honestly, I don't know what I'd do. I can see both sides. Fortunately it's not a decision I'll ever have to make. My kids are grown and there are no grandchildren yet.

MrsMayo · 04/09/2020 16:47

Friendsoftheearth
1940 infections today, we are just shy of 2000 new infections in one day, we have a long way to go this autumn and winter, anyone not recognising the danger and becoming complacent will be in a shock next month. I am sorry but those that are being flippant probably aren't considering the horrific experience of being in ICU with covid. It is not just any old virus, it is one that means you will have to die alone, in pain surrounded by hazmat suits and wires in the worst possible way.

Knew this.

It feels great having no choice but to send my teenager into school with 100's of others because he needs an education.

I don't see why the GPs can't see their GC outside 2 metres away.

Oaktree55 · 04/09/2020 16:47

Only planning to meet outside with grandparents. Too risky and most kids get such mild symptoms you’d never know it’s rife in your school until grandparents are canaries in the coal mine unfortunately.

shinynewapple2020 · 04/09/2020 16:49

I think it's up to the grandparents .

I'm sure they are able to visit and sit on the sofa at the other side of the room to the grandparents

Big difference between a half hour visit for a cup of tea , then day long child care .

justasking111 · 04/09/2020 16:49

Well if grandparents have been out and about, enjoyed Rishi deals, shop at supermarkets, generally have got back to normal. If they then catch covid who is to say where they picked it up from.

Many grandparents look after children in term time to help parents out, not sure who else can do it for parents to be honest.