Children mustn't see grandparents until vaccine found?

[Witterywoman]

Now that the kids are back at school, SIL has said her kids must isolate from both sets of grandparents in case they give them Covid picked up at school, and this must continue until a vaccine is found. All 4 grandparents are over 70 but healthy, no health conditions to speak of. My parents are particularly upset and don't understand it. I don't get it either and don't intend to stop them seeing my kids.

Are we missing something?

@TheKeatingFive

There is a steadfast group of covid deniers constantly on these threads, that feel it is okay to play down the virus, and minimise the risks to the elderly.

As well as people’s mental state, I’m also getting worried about people’s reading comprehension.

No one is denying risks, they are saying the risk should be for the grandparents to weigh up.

Quality of life matters to many people. Avoiding all risk of Covid may not be their sole and over riding goal.

Absolutely!

From what some people have written if you aren’t completely isolating and only ordering essential food to be delivered then you are reckless and selfish.

thekeating What is wrong with being reasonable?

Quality of life is (very) limited in an ICU ward and then being left with life long health issues even if you do survive, is that really preferable to a few months of being a little careful, really is it??

Come on.

@Friendsoftheearth if you think you’ve been reasonable on those thread you need to give your head a wobble. You haven’t suggested being a little careful at all.

Thanks for all the replies - clearly a very emotive subject! While I kind of see her point, I think she's being rather extreme. The kids are teens, so capable of social distancing and local so don't see why meetings can't be short and at outdoor spaces. No idea what her parents think about it but just know mine aren't impressed. Brother totally on board with it, both convinced second wave around the corner. His employers want him back in the office which he's arguing against and the whole family have hardly been out since March. Each to their own I guess, I won't be stopping them seeing my children - most meetings have been outdoors anyway, and will continue to be....

@Friendsoftheearth

thekeating What is wrong with being reasonable?

Quality of life is (very) limited in an ICU ward and then being left with life long health issues even if you do survive, is that really preferable to a few months of being a little careful, really is it??

Come on.

Well, I hope you enjoy your children making life decisions for you before you even get to your dotage.

a few months of being a little careful

It’s not just a few months - it’s already been 6 and will likely be another year before there’s a reliable vaccine rolled out to enough people to make a difference.

It’s not just “a little careful” it’s something that might severely affect the mental health and quality of life of a lot of people.

It’s such hyperbole to compare everything to being in ICU on a ventilator. There must be some assessment of the benefits of seeing family (sounds like socially distanced, outside, from OP’s description) weighed against the currently small risk of catching Covid and even smaller risk of getting a symptomatic case and even smaller risk of getting a serious enough case to be hospitalised, let alone in ICU. My parents weren’t prepared to keep denying themselves the quality of life benefits that seeing grandchildren bring to them, and who the hell am I to overrule them on that?

I honestly cannot believe some of the views on here. Never see grandparents until a vaccine - wtaf!

What if they die in the meantime of something else? "We didn't see them for 6 months but hey at least we didn't give them covid"- the world has gone mad.

As for the poster who said passing on covid to grandparents would make you feel as guilty as if you had a car accident and your passenger died - so i assume you don't ever have a passenger in your car then? Or do you balance the risks for that, but just not when it's #covid?

I honestly cannot believe some of the views on here. Never see grandparents until a vaccine - wtaf!

What if they die in the meantime of something else? "We didn't see them for 6 months but hey at least we didn't give them covid"- the world has gone mad.

As for the poster who said passing on covid to grandparents would make you feel as guilty as if you had a car accident and your passenger died - so i assume you don't ever have a passenger in your car then? Or do you balance the risks for that, but just not when it's #covid?

What if they die in the meantime of something else? "We didn't see them for 6 months but hey at least we didn't give them covid"- the world has gone mad.

It’s absolute batshit. It’s like avoiding Covid has become the only goal in life and no sacrifice is too big to throw at it.

I think people are rightly worried about catching the virus and being seriously ill, it is not unreasonable at all, given what has already evolved happened this year.

Even a mild case of covid can leave you with substantial lung damage and other problems, so I don't blame anyone for wanting to protect themselves and loved ones from covid, it is natural and normal!

The vaccine trials are nearly over, and news is extremely positive. Given that we will not have to wait years and years keeping everyone safe in the meantime for now is the best option.

You are welcome to disagree, and continue doing whatever you want in terms of hugging or indoor meets, parties or whatever. Lets hope the impact of that behaviour does not impact the NHS to such a degree that it will be overwhelmed. We can all make our own decisions about what is right for us and our families.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/coronavirus-vaccine-ready-to-be-fast-tracked-before-christmas-dv6p7bk55

I think people are rightly worried about catching the virus and being seriously ill, it is not unreasonable at all, given what has already evolved happened this year.

Honestly, this has been explained so many times I’m a bit concerned for you. But anyway. One last shot.

If the grandparents themselves have this view and want to stay away, absolutely fine, that should be respected.

However, if they want to take the risk and see them, that is their right too and to just over ride that is high handed and infantilising, not to mention potentially cruel.

Best case scenario for full scale vaccine roll out is the middle of next year. There are many, many potential pitfalls still. Waiting for the vaccine is not a great option for many older people because (newsflash) you can die of other things that aren’t Covid.

Pubs and entertainment are not “wants” to the people who work in them and their families. And indeed to the rest of us, including the sainted NHS, because the revenue they bring in there will be no money to treat Covid patients (or anything) , fund treatment or vaccine.

@PerveenMistry you’re the most selfish person on the thread. Expect to sit on your arse safely cocooned in your house whilst others go out to facilitate that, and then have the cheek to call people “selfish” for daring to want to have any kind of simple enjoyment in life at all. Even worse, you then dress that up that you’re actually doing the people out working to facilitate your privileged lifestyle a favour. It’s lazy, selfish and entitled. I’m so glad I don’t know anyone like you in real life.

Pubs and entertainment are not “wants” to the people who work in them and their families. And indeed to the rest of us, including the sainted NHS, because the revenue they bring in there will be no money to treat Covid patients (or anything) , fund treatment or vaccine.

One thing this has taught me is that there are hoards of people out there who don’t understand the absolute basics of economics or how their society works. It’s shocking.

@TheKeatingFive

Pubs and entertainment are not “wants” to the people who work in them and their families. And indeed to the rest of us, including the sainted NHS, because the revenue they bring in there will be no money to treat Covid patients (or anything) , fund treatment or vaccine.

One thing this has taught me is that there are hoards of people out there who don’t understand the absolute basics of economics or how their society works. It’s shocking.

Yes, and make cringey comments like “the government are putting the economy before lives”. No comprehension that the economy IS lives. I’m embarrassed for them actually. So dense.

Two weeks ago I had a lovely lunch with my parents and my children in a restaurant.

I also had a lovely lunch in the pub yesterday too . Doing my bit

Friendsoftheearth Vaccine trials haven’t started. I work in a hospital research department. We’re starting very soon. Hoping enough people step up and volunteer.

Granny gets her hug and then swans off on holiday or around her neighborhood asymptomatically infecting others is just vile

But I thought Granny was going to end up in ICU and dying a horrible death, hence why her children are justified in treating her like a child?

@MaxNormal

What are all these massive drops in GDP and huge borrowings to fund the economy shutting down going to do to foreign aid budgets I wonder?

There are already plans in the UK to cut the foreign aid budget to pay for this. That will cause deaths, no two ways about it. But they are foreign and far away, so...

I think foreign aid budgets should be cut, if you look at what governments overseas are spending the money on there are some countries with corrupt leadership, others spending millions on space programmes and so on. The money should go to organisations with a verified track record in quality provision of projects which genuinely make a difference to the lives of those who really need it, I think it's wrong to automatically give foreign aid to governments.

One thing this has taught me is that there are hoards of people out there who don’t understand the absolute basics of economics or how their society works. It’s shocking.

And there are hoardes of people who don’t even register the existence of the millions of people who make it possible for them to lives their cushy, isolated lives. From delivery drivers to retail workers to people maintaining broadband networks and keeping power stations running and petrol available to bin men to street cleaners to carers and NHS staff - yeah let’s all just stay at home.

@BikeTyson

One thing this has taught me is that there are hoards of people out there who don’t understand the absolute basics of economics or how their society works. It’s shocking.

And there are hoardes of people who don’t even register the existence of the millions of people who make it possible for them to lives their cushy, isolated lives. From delivery drivers to retail workers to people maintaining broadband networks and keeping power stations running and petrol available to bin men to street cleaners to carers and NHS staff - yeah let’s all just stay at home.

More than this, people like @PerveenMistry thinks she’s doing them a favour. Unbelievable.

@MadameBlobby

Granny gets her hug and then swans off on holiday or around her neighborhood asymptomatically infecting others is just vile

But I thought Granny was going to end up in ICU and dying a horrible death, hence why her children are justified in treating her like a child?

Granny’s diary is pretty booked up!

More than this, people like @PerveenMistry thinks she’s doing them a favour. Unbelievable.

It beggars belief.

Granny’s diary is pretty booked up!

Granny is also getting Covid and not ever properly recovering, thus having to be cared for by SIL for ever more.

Don’t forget that one.

thekeating

And for the last time I will point it out to you, that I have no intention of living with the guilt for the rest of my days if one of my teens or I infect either of my elderly and fragile parents! Not a chance in hell.

THEY might think a hug is worth it, but I don't agree. Two parties have to agree a course of action in the coming months, that all sides are comfortable with. Granny does not get to force others into a potentially life threatening situation because she does not care for the rules!

My teens have been out all day every day, now they are going to a school packed with 900 other teens. My mother has a lung condition and is well over seventy, do you really expect me to rush around there knowing that there is every chance in a few weeks that we will have an outbreak?! Our area has seen a huge rise already. I have an old friend in hospital right now, and he has just tested positive last night, no this is not okay.

An agreement has to be made between the generations that is acceptable to ALL sides.

Understood?

that I have no intention of living with the guilt for the rest of my days if one of my teens or I infect either of my elderly and fragile parents! Not a chance in hell.

Guilt is your emotion to manage. They would want you to feel that I’m sure. So over riding their desires because you can’t manage your feelings strikes me as pretty selfish actually.

THEY might think a hug is worth it, but I don't agree.

They’re not children, so you don’t get to decide for them. That’s infantilising.

So no, not understood at all.