Children mustn't see grandparents until vaccine found?

[Witterywoman]

Now that the kids are back at school, SIL has said her kids must isolate from both sets of grandparents in case they give them Covid picked up at school, and this must continue until a vaccine is found. All 4 grandparents are over 70 but healthy, no health conditions to speak of. My parents are particularly upset and don't understand it. I don't get it either and don't intend to stop them seeing my kids.

Are we missing something?

I'm not going to risk my kids infecting her just because she says it's ok or just thinks it wont happen

Infantilising and patronising to not let her make her own decisions about her priorities.

When I got sick one of the worst parts of the first weeks was worrying that I might have infected her and my dad.

That’s all about you though.

If it’s a risk she’s willing to take, she should be respected.

Amazing. Not living in solitary confinement is a "selfish want" now.

Not living in solitary confinement is a "selfish want" now.

It gets better and better 😳

@MaxNormal

Amazing. Not living in solitary confinement is a "selfish want" now.

Yes, things like clean running water, reliable power and heat sources, readily available food, people who can supply and repair appliances that lead to better hygiene, a peaceful society that allows most people to live and go about their business unmolested, infrastructure that also permits that - roads, bridges, trains, airports, public transport, etc. All just 'wants'.

People who can't pay their mortgage will become homeless, UC doesn't pay for mortgages, or for all the rent for most places. Homelessness causes increases in disease. But hey, if they're working in those 'want' areas, fuck em. The government can just make all infrastructure happen by magic and with brass buttons, no need to pay for it with money from people's taxes.

Yes, it's about me, even wanting her to stay alive is partly for my benefit. And so? I love my mum and she loves me but we are still allowed to make our own decisions. I can assure you that if the tables were turned she would act in exactly the same way, and for exactly the same reason.

Saw this and thought of (some of) you:

Yes, things like clean running water, reliable power and heat sources, readily available food

I suspect that the lockdown-forever fans will rapidly go off the idea if they personally get affected to the extent that their internet connection becomes a problem - no Netflix or Amazon, whaaat?!

It is breathtakingly arrogant to high handedly make these decisions for your parents no matter what your reasoning. If they need to see their grand children and their grand children need them, parents frankly need to butt out.

If you actually read what I wrote, it's that those of us who can stay home should do so to make going out safer for essential workers.

And frankly it's not granny and the kids I'm worried about. But they don't confine the transmission risk to themselves. They proceed to go out around other people. That's how exponential transmission happens.

Do you mind if drunk drivers "assume the risk" ? It's ok I take it if they decide for themselves what risk is acceptable? After all they need to relieve their stress somehow, right?! Gotta live your life!

And if the grandchildren have a conscience @justasking111?

I’ve been working in secondary school all week. No-one should be mixing with anyone, in my view, there is a massive shit storm coming. Give it a week or two.

@PerveenMistry

If you actually read what I wrote, it's that those of us who can stay home should do so to make going out safer for essential workers.

And frankly it's not granny and the kids I'm worried about. But they don't confine the transmission risk to themselves. They proceed to go out around other people. That's how exponential transmission happens.

Do you mind if drunk drivers "assume the risk" ? It's ok I take it if they decide for themselves what risk is acceptable? After all they need to relieve their stress somehow, right?! Gotta live your life!

So who are you worried about because it seems to change from moment to moment. A whole back gps and gcs were massively selfish and endangering everyone.

Now you’re not worried about them?

I think you’ve got yourself in such a funk you’ve lost all sense of perspective and judgment.

I also think you are unlikely to be in the U.K. and are providing a US based perspective that is currently not particularly relevant to the UK position.

We're allowing Grandparents but not great-grandparents.

Covid treats those in their 60's and 90's very differently.

I think it's up to the grandparents to decide that. We have 2 Grandmas, one of whom (my DM) who we've seen recently) and a great aunt and uncle we saw today. We took necessary precautions with social distancing, and they wanted to see us. (Admittedly, our DDs haven't gone back to school yet.)

Let's face it, we don't know when there will be a vaccine. I think a lot of elderly relatives don't want to put their lives on hold in the meantime, so I really think that they need to be allowed to make their own decisions about this.

@Armi

I’ve been working in secondary school all week. No-one should be mixing with anyone, in my view, there is a massive shit storm coming. Give it a week or two.

Exactly.

As I've said if the risk were merely to cause one's own death, I wouldn't care what anyone did.

But reckless, self-indulgent behaviour and rationalizing unnecessary risk is going to prolong the agony for everyone including those doing their bit by postponing socializing and non-essential shopping & entertainment. Granny gets her hug and then swans off on holiday or around her neighborhood asymptomatically infecting others is just vile. Stay home and FaceTime.

@CultOfWax

My grandparents, who are in their late 80's, have decided for themselves that they're not going to spend the last years of their life isolating from family and missing out on hugging their grandchildren and great grandchildren.

My grandparents are precisely the same

@Armi

I’ve been working in secondary school all week. No-one should be mixing with anyone, in my view, there is a massive shit storm coming. Give it a week or two.

On Monday starts the 4th week schools in Scotland have been in session, and the secondary ones only just started wearing masks in communal areas this past week.

@Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd

I caught influenza 4 times in my life from people who are out walking around, it can be passed asymptomatically, too. Of course, people immediately ping back, 'There's a vaccine for flu!' a) it's not available to everyone in the world b) many cannot pay for it privately even if it's 'just' a tenner or so. One time when I got it I was young and fit but it made me require hospitalisation and I was weak and ill for 6 months. But we don't do lockdowns and such for influenza outbreaks. I even got swine flu back in 2009.

There are lots of nasty illnesses that can be passed asymptomatically, but for this one the entire world has to grind to a halt and when the wheel starts turning even a millimetre it's too much for some people.

I'm in Ireland and during the winter season the hospitals may restrict visitors when there's an outbreak of norovirus, but there has never been even the slightest restrictions or changes in procedure when dealing with vulnerable people during flu season.

For example it's the norm here for the local doctors to take blood samples from the elderly one particular morning. They take blood every day but there's only one day of the week where the GP surgery will bring the samples to the hospital, every other day you get blood taken you have to bring it to the hospital yourself.

So every week without fail even during the worst of the influenza season they have a whole group of vulnerable people waiting in the same small waiting room, along with others who are meeting the GP.

That's never been considered an issue before and no procedures have ever been put in place to limit the spread.
It will be interesting to see if that kind of thing changes when the pandemic is over!

It is breathtakingly arrogant to high handedly make these decisions for your parents no matter what your reasoning.

Absolutely. It’s so disrespectful to treat grown adults this way.

There is a steadfast group of covid deniers constantly on these threads, that feel it is okay to play down the virus, and minimise the risks to the elderly. I have seen the same ones pop up over and over again, the same people that told us back in March that this was nothing to worry about, it was just a 'drama' and will die out before it gets here - its like SARS etc. Those that communicated their concerns and prepared were called 'hysterical' and whipping up fear etc. Only they turned out to be the sensible ones in hindsight.

We all know what followed, the same appears to be happening again.

We have no idea what is going to happen in the next 6-8 weeks, however we can be fairly certain that if you are elderly and particularly if you have any serious health conditions you are now at risk from a second wave.

Taking care of this group of people is absolutely essential, not to leave them abandoned or lonely of course not - but to take the utmost care around them. Stay outside and SD at all times. It is not forever, but just for now, because we are this is a pivotal time, it is a critical moment - no one knows which way it is going to go. So surely when faced with this, it is better to be cautious when it comes to loved ones. If all is well, we can hug at christmas to our hearts content.

The most lenient relaxed country in the world - Sweden - even they are shielding their elderly and not hugging for now, and they didn't even have a lockdown!

On Monday starts the 4th week schools in Scotland have been in session, and the secondary ones only just started wearing masks in communal areas this past week.

Presumably there should be some good evidence on trends by the end of September.

@justasking111

It is breathtakingly arrogant to high handedly make these decisions for your parents no matter what your reasoning. If they need to see their grand children and their grand children need them, parents frankly need to butt out.

It'll be the parents who end up looking after the grandparents when they catch it, potentially for years if they're left with long term health issues rather than dying.

I'm sick of this situation. None of my family will see me as they are all super paranoid about covid. I work in the NHS. They wont even social distance with me. They are all healthy. I feel like I've just been dumped by my own family. I dont even have any covid patients. I haven't seen any for over a month.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-54013125

Infections have risen but not surged in Scotland.

There is a steadfast group of covid deniers constantly on these threads, that feel it is okay to play down the virus, and minimise the risks to the elderly.

As well as people’s mental state, I’m also getting worried about people’s reading comprehension.

No one is denying risks, they are saying the risk should be for the grandparents to weigh up.

Quality of life matters to many people. Avoiding all risk of Covid may not be their sole and over riding goal.

I feel like I've just been dumped by my own family. I dont even have any covid patients. I haven't seen any for over a month.

That sounds very tough.

Perspective on this has gone out the window totally.