Children mustn't see grandparents until vaccine found?

[Witterywoman]

Now that the kids are back at school, SIL has said her kids must isolate from both sets of grandparents in case they give them Covid picked up at school, and this must continue until a vaccine is found. All 4 grandparents are over 70 but healthy, no health conditions to speak of. My parents are particularly upset and don't understand it. I don't get it either and don't intend to stop them seeing my kids.

Are we missing something?

I think there's a balance to be had and grandparents feelings on this should be taken into account. DS won't be seeing my mum now, we went last weekend to see her before he went back to school. She was shielding and is very anxious about the virus. We might see my mother in law outside if it's a nice day (she's closer so we can pop over and sit in the garden).

If kids who are in school are seeing elderly grandparents I do think there should be social distancing/good hygiene, and it's wise to keep a check on levels in the local area, or in the school where the kids go. If there's a case in your kid's school or infections go over 20 in 100,000 (the level government use to assess whether people coming from abroad should quarantine) I think it would be wise to limit contact until levels come down again. Imagine the horror of passing this virus onto a relative and not even being able to see them if they get really ill with it :-(

I think grandparents should be able to make their own minds up. They are grown adults after all!

@Witterywoman

Very wise. I hope that it does not happen but if any child falls "seriously ill" [euphemism] I would hope there will be a mass uprising and all schools closed.

Our DGD gets everything going and I - for one - don't want it.

Since lockdown she has not had one single day's illness. We are isolating from her.

There is a lot of denial on this thread, that is why someone decided to describe just how horrible a Covid death can be. And yes, I'm well aware that other deaths can be horrible too, I had to watch my parents die slowly and painfully.

It is selfish to decide to take risks with the virus since the more people that need hospital treatment for Covid-19 the less other work the NHS can do. So every time you deliberately choose to take an unnecessary risk you reduce the chance that someone else gets their life prolonged or their pain eased. The grandparents wanting to see their grandchildren are being selfish, the people taking their kids to see granny are being selfish.

Hospital admissions are beginning to increase now. Schools and universities are going back and if you want the NHS to be able to treat you when you have your car accident or heart attack or your child breaks a leg then you need to be as careful as you can be.

Could your SIL take a middle route eg plan a visit at end of half term after kids have been off school for 7 days? And perhaps get a corona virus test prior to seeing them to rule out asymptomatic carrying?

Doing something to mitigate the risk might feel fairer to both sides.

The grandparents wanting to see their grandchildren are being selfish

What people need to understand is that most people don’t want to live in a world where they don’t get to see their nearest and dearest.

That’s not selfish. It’s human nature. We are a sociable species.

We need to find some balance in the discussion and some way of ‘living with’ this virus. Lockdown was an unprecedented, once off event.

It is absolutely not sustainable as a way of life.

Hospital admissions are beginning to increase now.
Link please
as the ONS shows death rates at below average

My son is separated from his partner and we share a house where his daughter (my granddaughter) has been for half of lockdown - as allowed under the roolz. I am nearly 70 but reasonably healthy and we have taken the necessary sanitisation precautions. There is no way I will not hug my granddaughter or collect her from school if necessary. There has been no second wave after schools opened in Scotland, after the rush to the beaches, the demonstrations, the crowded public transport in London etc etc. I need to live the years I have left not just exist.

Do the fit and healthy grandparents have no say over what happens to them....she is treating them like they lack capacity in a nursing home!

Does she usually dictate what others must do or is she a fearful everyone is going to die type whenever Covid is mentioned?

insane.

This ...over and over again please....

Perveen
You DO understand that most people who catch COVID, even old ones
do not die
In fact lots and lots and lots never realise they had it hmm

I need to live the years I have left not just exist.

A million times this

@Runmybathforme

This patronising attitude to older people gives me the ache. Do they have dementia ? If not, let them decide.

Agree with this too. So much assumption that they don’t know their own minds.

Also does the SIL’s partner whose parents they are not get any say either?

I would waste no time in telling my husband to go fuck himself if he thought he could dictate my parents’ relationship with our kids

@JulieHere

This ...over and over again please....

Perveen
You DO understand that most people who catch COVID, even old ones
do not die
In fact lots and lots and lots never realise they had it hmm

Yes, and that's how they go merrily around spreading the deadly disease to others.

But keep wallowing in denial. Wouldn't want granny to miss that hug. Gives new meaning to the phrase "kiss of death."

This fall ought to get really interesting.

Yes, and that's how they go merrily around spreading the deadly disease to others.
Except that in the vast vast vast majority of cases it is NOT deadly

Autumn. This is the U.K.

You’re just the type who will be disappointed if it ends up not being that bad.

@Mummadeeze

My parents (mid seventies) have said we can’t visit until they have had the vaccine. I haven’t seen them since Christmas. They are completely isolating though so I do understand. They think they may get vaccinated by this Christmas however as they are classed as vulnerable and have been told there is a possibility (not in the UK).

And that's their decision so perfectly fine.

You haven't told them what they have to do.

@imamearcat

I think grandparents should be able to make their own minds up. They are grown adults after all!

Not on MN we're not.

I’m in Scotland where under 12s don’t need to socially distance anyway, so even if my son was giving his grandparents a hug, no rules are being broken.

Many governments have not covered themselves in glory with this. Be it the woefully inadequate and naive initial response (hey I’m shaking hands in hospital and even boasting about it huh huh), that meant thousands caught it and suffered who shouldn’t/wouldn’t have. Or the current still woefully inadequate tracking and tracing.

Be that as it may, the situation is what it is. Asking or advising that people in their 70s and 80s to stop visiting their children and grandkids - for many their only reliable socializing/contact with the outside world - while we wait for a decent vaccine that could take 2,3,4,5 years/never arrive, just isn’t workable.

You’re just the type who will be disappointed if it ends up not being that bad.

I know right? She sounds like she’s salivating at the thought.

I’m am increasingly disturbed at what this is doing to people mentally.

@PerveenMistry

American?

I need to live the years I have left not just exist

But that's where the calculations get interesting isnt it? If you have potentially 10 more years to live, is it worth limiting your activities for one of them so you can enjoy the other 9?

is it worth limiting your activities for one of them so you can enjoy the other 9?

That’s assuming we have widespread vaccination in a year which seems wildly optimistic at this point.