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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For reporting large gathering

234 replies

specksdrugsandsausagerolls · 03/09/2020 21:04

Name changed for this because it might be outing. My neighbours are horsey and have about 30 acres of land.

I bumped into the husband this morning on a dog walk and asked him what the big marquee was for (they have all kinds of horsey events on there throughout the year - camps etc). He said it was his daughters 30th so they were having a hog roast and disco tomorrow night. He then said me and my partner would be welcome to join if we wanted, I just smiled and thanked him and then as I carried on my dog walk I got more and more irate thinking of all the people coming from all over to my neighbour for this party - I wished I'd said something but honestly I was so surprised they were doing it!
His wife then invited me via FB to the FB event - it has 120 invited with 87 marked as "going".
I'm not a fun sponge, really I'm not, but with coronavirus I think this is wholly unnecessary. I'm also not usually the sort of person to think of reporting people but we're rural, we have been blessed with low numbers, I'm angry they're doing this. WIBU to report them and if not... how?!

OP posts:
FlySheMust · 04/09/2020 07:36

I'm staggered at how many people condone this and say you shouldn't report. I can't believe that someone hasn't already.

Second wave anyone?

ineedaholidaynow · 04/09/2020 07:36

With respect to schools everyone should be doing their bit to stop the virus getting into schools, but some people don’t seem to think like that.

So many people clamouring that schools should open but the same people not doing anything to ensure schools stay open.

Manolin · 04/09/2020 07:39

Nope. The marquee is a red herring. It is not a dwelling.

The law has a loophole for certain private gatherings. This is more relevant.

edition.cnn.com/2020/08/30/europe/coronavirus-elites-breaking-rules-intl/index.html

Pobblebonk · 04/09/2020 07:39

The government wants us all back in offices which means getting into full commuter trains every day. If that risk is acceptable, it's difficult to see what's wrong with an event in a marquee on open land.

Bluntness100 · 04/09/2020 07:40

Gosh they are being all lovely and inviting you, and you’re being all angry and wanting to report them, I wonder if they are only inviting you because they know you’re the type to report them.

Personally no I’d not report them.

vapeinafleshlight · 04/09/2020 07:43

"Its a 30th birthday not a rave"

Well what's the difference? That's the third time raves have been mentioned Confused

Would you all report a "rave"?

msflibble · 04/09/2020 07:46

I would also leave them to it. Life with coronavirus is hard enough without people policing each other's behaviour. The event is publicly advertised on FB so if the police are doing their job, they'll find it.
I know it's difficult to watch people do things you perceive to be irresponsible and dangerous but we do have to fight our impulse to try to control others. If you report them they may realise it's you and that would really suck - nobody wants to live with hostile neighbours.

JinglingHellsBells · 04/09/2020 07:48

You can't compare kids back to school with this.

In school, there will be boundaries, handwashing and gel etc and masks (in some schools.)

Even if this is outside, they will either need to hire portoloos or allow people in the house. neither of those is good for hygiene when mixed with drink.

It's basically a rave but with another name, so yes I'd report it.

inaspin12 · 04/09/2020 07:49

Don't be that person, OP.

Having said that, someone will report it, no doubt.

There's always a finger-wagging snitcher who can't wait to drop people in it without knowing the full facts.

JinglingHellsBells · 04/09/2020 07:49

Would you all report a "rave"?

Yes because they are illegal.

Have you not seen the photos online and police breaking them up?

JinglingHellsBells · 04/09/2020 07:51

The government wants us all back in offices which means getting into full commuter trains every day.

NO it doesn't.

TFL and other train companies are asking people to stagger their working hours and going in off peak.

You also have to wear a mask and obey social distancing.

Totally different to a rave with drunken young people all over the place using a few loos.

Pobblebonk · 04/09/2020 07:52

TFL and other train companies are asking people to stagger their working hours and going in off peak.

Which doesn't mean that that is what will happen. Ultimately people going back to work will have to work the hours their employers dictate, not what TFL dictates.

Starlightstarbright1 · 04/09/2020 07:55

My DS will be in a bibble if 250 at school. next week.

Leave them to it.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/09/2020 07:57

For this saying ‘none of your business’ and ‘leave them alone’, would you never report your neighbour for anything? Would you report them for large scale benefit or tax fraud?Would you support them for a marijuana farm on their land?Would you report them for a full scale rave with thousands of people?I am curious as to where people draw the line and why

Fraud: no because I don’t know anyone’s financial circumstances, could be a single parent, left with two disabled kids claiming a 25% council tax discount, really worth putting her through that?!

Marijuana farm: yes because it would impact me as a neighbour with anti sociable behaviour and perhaps the smell. Having said that I know of a millionaire, well to do business man who is growing 3 plants on his roof for fun- is that ok?

A rave? Yes only if disturbed me, I wouldn’t report one 5 streets away.

Nomorepies · 04/09/2020 07:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

ineedaholidaynow · 04/09/2020 07:59

@Starlightstarbright1 do you want your DS’s school to stay open? It is things like this which will risk the rate in the community going up and then impacting the schools

MadameBlobby · 04/09/2020 07:59

I would report them, yes.

It’s this kind of stuff and people ignoring rules that’s causing cases to increase and local restrictions to come back into place.

vapeinafleshlight · 04/09/2020 08:01

"Yes because they are illegal.

Have you not seen the photos online and police breaking them up?"

Yes @JinglingHellsBells but they are no different to this event Hmm

Which is my entire point. Posters are saying that OP is "YABU it's not a rave".

dryoldparty · 04/09/2020 08:02

The main difference being that a "race" is usually illegal regardless or corona because they are usually done on private land without the landowners permission.

Regardless on the "red herring" on the marquee, they are obviously organising a large gathering to be held in the marquee, which is basically indoors - the nights are cool now, I doubt they will have the sides up. That is how the virus spreads.

Comparing it to schools is stupid - schools are one of the most prioritised sectors to reopen. They are far more necessary than having a huge 30th birthday party.

It's a "how would you feel getting someone a £20k fine vs how would you feel if the party contributed to a spike in cases". We've seen it happen - the tui flight, other weddings. We're meant to be collectively controlling the virus and to be honest this attitude is awful.

UntamedWisteria · 04/09/2020 08:02

we're rural, we have been blessed with low numbers,

It's a very low-risk event especially since people will be in a large, airy marquee - not inside. And 30 year-olds are a lot more sensible than 18-year-olds. If you were in an area with a lot of infections, it might be different.

If you don't feel comfortable about it, you don't have to go.

But please don't report them, that's just a horrible thing to do.

BilboBercow · 04/09/2020 08:02

I'd go. A hog roast and disco sounds great.

dryoldparty · 04/09/2020 08:03

Rave. Not race. ☺️

iskwobel · 04/09/2020 08:03

The police won't tell the neighbours who reported them.
Out of the 120 people invited there will be a good few who are really anxious because they know this party is a poor idea.
Someone might have reported it already but also a chance they haven't due to social pressure.
If the police know this morning and go round to caution them isn't that SO MUCH better than a blue light raid in the middle of the party with loads of drama? Which might easily happen if it goes ahead and other people who aren't as thoughtful find out and go full neighbourhood watch.

TryAnotherNickname · 04/09/2020 08:05

Well in my unfortunately direct experience, half the village can repeatedly report 300-odd people plus a sound system, “security”, a convoy of cars and the police won’t do a thing about it. Not enough funding. The only time they came was in April and they broke that party up. It took a catalogue of crimes (some serious enough to leave life changing injuries) to get the house pulled from air bnb. So I think 80 people in farmland for a 30th is not going to do anything for anyone. Leave it.

vapeinafleshlight · 04/09/2020 08:05

"The main difference being that a "race" is usually illegal regardless or corona because they are usually done on private land without the landowners permission."

Not the raves @JinglingHellsBells is talking about that she's seen on the news. They were broken up due to Coronavirus gathering restrictions.

This party is not exempt so I don't understand why people are referring to raves as if they are any different

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