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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you manage with one bathroom

259 replies

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 21:43

We have one bathroom in our house and it's getting pretty unbearable. I don't really know what to do! Are there ANY 'workarounds' that you've come up with? We categorically can't move for very specific reasons that are too outing to share but are 100% solid stone.

Every morning when I wake up I need a wee straight away, and inevitably my husband is in the bath. We have no shower. No way of installing a shower as it's a very old, pokey house and the ceiling is very low and sloping over the bath and there's no other room. I end up in discomfort (and unable to do anything to start my day as I need it too urgently to move about). Occasionally I go in and wee but hate invading my husband's privacy and since the bathroom is tiny, it's pretty weird to just sit next to him weeing. Even if you told me to get over myself (I know plenty of people don't mind weeing or pooing in front of their spouse), we have two children who are approaching teenagehood and whom definitely won't want to wee or poo in front of mum or dad while mum or dad is naked in the bath, or vice versa. Obviously right now it's not a problem when the kids are bathing or on the loo as they barely even shut the door but that will change.

To add to the fun I have IBS, which doesn't flare often but when it does I need to go urgently, and someone being in there can be quite distressing. We can't have visitors despite having a spare room as we can't manage any more people using the bathroom. It's a very old house, rented and no way they will put in another bathroom - we have tried to persuade them! There's also no way of dividing up the room and separating the loo from the bath as it's tiny and the bath is against the back wall, door would then be off my son's bedroom. The kids and I bath in the evening to space out the usage, but husband is a big sweaty fella (sorry!) so needs to bath in the morning before work.

Just typing this out has made me realise how shit it is, but other people must live like this too... don't they?

OP posts:
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neveradullmoment99 · 02/09/2020 22:40

Well we have one bathroom and we manage. Im first up anway so no issue. Noone takes showers in the morning as its all too rushed. Shower in the evening. Why does he take a bath in the morning. Ask him to take it at night, freeing the bathroom.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 02/09/2020 22:40

I'd move. I can't believe places don't have a shower, outdated crap. Should be illegal not to have one. I'd rather share bedrooms than have only one bathroom.

BrummyMum1 · 02/09/2020 22:42

Never lived anywhere with more than one toilet. Potty if totally caught short and I did consider putting a camping toilet under the stairs at one time. Seriously though get the landlord to fit a proper shower attachment to the bath so DH can shower (even if he has to sit in the bath to do it!) and stop him hogging prime morning pee time. If your landlord kicks up a fuss remind them it’s 2020 and installing some kind of showering facility isn’t unreasonable.

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:43

Here’s a diagram (my first ever mn diagram but sorry I can’t draw!) looking straight in at the bath which is against the back wall. Shows why the curtain may be tricky and also why the shower attachment is tricky as the taps are at the slope end so you’d have to crouch under the slope.

To ask how you manage with one bathroom
OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 02/09/2020 22:43

Where's Kirstie Allsopp when you need her ??

Commiserations OP

We managed for many years with one bathroom but the loo was separate so that was a blessing.

Now we still have only one bathroom but it's bigger - you couldn't swing a cat in our other one - and has a separate and large shower, but we now also have a downstairs loo.

In my next home which will be a downsize, I will be looking for an ensuite as well as a bathroom and a downstairs loo. I want no less and I shall blumming well havit.

I knows how I want to live :)

Shedbuilder · 02/09/2020 22:43

Why doesn't your husband wake you up while the bath is running so you can go and have a pee? Or better still bathe at night and have a quick rub with a flannel in the morning, when everyone's waking up and needing to use the loo?

You could invest in a camping loo like this for emergencies:
tinyurl.com/y3xgr6j9

Or maybe you can ask the landlord if you could install a spare loo under the stairs or elsewhere in the house. Final suggestion would be some kind of garden shed with a loo in it.

If it's such a big deal — and with IBS it can't be easy — then forget your solid stone reasons for not moving and find a place that meets your needs.

speakout · 02/09/2020 22:44

Use this- www.amazon.co.uk/Home-Flair-Single-Double-Straight/dp/B083WK3NL7/ref=sr_1_11?dchild=1&keywords=handheld+shower+hose&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1599082964&sr=8-11
Fits onto taps, no plumbing required.
OH can sit in the bath and give himself an all over wash- much quicker than a bath.

babba2014 · 02/09/2020 22:45

He needs to wake up earlier or have a quicker bath. We had two toilets growing up but it's the men who take long. Nor my dad but siblings. It's not really fair. They need to hurry up. I too had long baths but now I'm queen of five minute ones.
Get some nice essential oils for him to use. They are stronger than typical bath soaps. Also use the roll on deodorant from natural deodorant co. They're amazing.
It's not fair for you to wait especially with IBS at times. I can't imagine anything worse than holding it in. He doesn't need such a long bath. Have two a day but don't take so long in the morning.
Is it a private landlord? I'd look at moving otherwise.

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:45

You don't have a back door?

Well, we do but it's broken so we can't use it. It's a very old house. If we owned it (or had any money!) we'd do things to it but we can't, and the LL keeps it 'servicable' but no more. We have asked for re-jigging off the bathroom many times but it's not going to happen.

OP posts:
HBGKC · 02/09/2020 22:45

I feel for you.

If it makes you feel any better though, there are 10 of us living in a rented house with ONE bathroom which contains the only toilet in the house. Shower above the bath, so better than your situation in that respect.
The worst offenders for taking ages in there (on the loo! Not even in the bath/shower!) are the boys Confused DH, closely followed by DS2. I can totally sympathise with not wanting to use the loo whilst someone else is in the room. In your situation I think I'd investigate the portaloo/camping toilet idea.

NotMeNoNo · 02/09/2020 22:45

Can you improvise something

Modesty screen between loo and bath even if only hardboard
Attach some small clips to the wall/ slope to hold the shower curtain to it.

We have one bathroom in a 3 bedroom house with 2 teenagers, thankfully we do have a shower. Still there’s a lot of shouting involved.,

speakout · 02/09/2020 22:46

Can your OH get up half an hour earlier in the morning to have his bath?

THis is really an OH problem.

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:49

It's not so much that it's a massive deal, it's just one of those things that is just low-key hassle day to day and starts to get to you. Plus it's pretty horrid when you need the loo and can't go straight away.

I know it's quite normal to have one loo in many households and certainly is what I grew up with, so I'm not meaning to sound spoiled. Just looking ahead to teens quadrupling our private bathroom use and wondering how much time I'll have to spend banging on the door and crossing my legs.

OP posts:
Hahaha88 · 02/09/2020 22:50

I'm lol at you labelling your husband in the diagram!

Honestly? Your husband needs to just get in, get a quick wash and get out. Not run a full bath and relax in it. It's being selfish. If he wants to do that it needs to be an evening job. Mornings are for a quick wash. That's the first issue to address. The second is getting over weeing in front of each other. It's a perfectly normal bodily function, it doesn't smell (if it does you need to see a doctor) and realistically what can he see but you sitting on the loo?

speakout · 02/09/2020 22:50

Intrepidintrovert

Your problem is not the fact that you have one bathroom (many familes manage just fine), but the fact that your OH hogs the bathroom in the morning.

That's the problem.

greengreengrass14 · 02/09/2020 22:51

composting toilet in the garden? our allotment site got one and they are pretty swish and don't require emptying out so often.

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:52

If it makes you feel any better though, there are 10 of us living in a rented house with ONE bathroom

@HBGKC Wow! Shock You have my sympathy! Yep I agree about boys taking longer. I think the girls (in our house) are more aware of other people. Sigh.

OP posts:
Hahaha88 · 02/09/2020 22:52

Also I'm really unconvinced a sink wash isn't going to be sufficient, and that's coming from a (not smelly and definitely clean) fatty who knows what it's like to be sweaty

greengreengrass14 · 02/09/2020 22:52

freerangedesigns.co.uk/collections/compost-toilets

BiBabbles · 02/09/2020 22:53

That is an awkward looking bathroom. For ours, opaque shower curtains do save my sanity a bit, but the mornings are starting to get difficult.

Also, for the shower attachment, would a shower chair make it more manageable for him to use it, he could then be seated but not all the way in. I've had times where I need help in and out of the tub, and having a stool to sit on while cleaning can make things a lot easier for a wash, but I imagine a bigger guy would feel more comfortable in a shower chair.

Scrowy · 02/09/2020 22:53

portashower for outside?

I'm guessing you are 'tied' to the house somehow through one of your jobs and either related to the landlords or have a very long term tenancy relationship with them...

I have the same problem. I have an outside toilet which helps.

UnpaintedPaint · 02/09/2020 22:54

Growing up, our family of five had one bathroom, but it had a separate toilet.

Can you get a partition to separate yours?

Other than that, lots of banging on doors and shouting hurry up went on.

Your husband is selfish and should get out of the bath, if the toilet is needed.

Build a downstairs or outside toilet. Handy for the garden.
Sometimes you wonder if a toilet built just outside a back door would be preferable to using all the storage space in the house to include a toilet in the hall way or under the stairs ( new builds)

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:54

I'm lol at you labelling your husband in the diagram!

I seem to have given him four toes on one foot as well, but that serves him right for hogging the bathroom.

Tbh it is interesting as I'd just accepted his morning bath time as he does get up early to do it, but perhaps I need to ask him to be out by a certain time. He's a nice man, he'll do it. He just wouldn't THINK to do it.

(By the way we try not to fart in front of one another either. Are we weird?!)

OP posts:
greengreengrass14 · 02/09/2020 22:54

not cheap but they even have a combined outdoor shower and composting toilet unit. Similar to those used on glamping sites

greengreengrass14 · 02/09/2020 22:55

if someone is gifted with wood you might be able to just buy the inner unit and DIY

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