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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you manage with one bathroom

259 replies

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 21:43

We have one bathroom in our house and it's getting pretty unbearable. I don't really know what to do! Are there ANY 'workarounds' that you've come up with? We categorically can't move for very specific reasons that are too outing to share but are 100% solid stone.

Every morning when I wake up I need a wee straight away, and inevitably my husband is in the bath. We have no shower. No way of installing a shower as it's a very old, pokey house and the ceiling is very low and sloping over the bath and there's no other room. I end up in discomfort (and unable to do anything to start my day as I need it too urgently to move about). Occasionally I go in and wee but hate invading my husband's privacy and since the bathroom is tiny, it's pretty weird to just sit next to him weeing. Even if you told me to get over myself (I know plenty of people don't mind weeing or pooing in front of their spouse), we have two children who are approaching teenagehood and whom definitely won't want to wee or poo in front of mum or dad while mum or dad is naked in the bath, or vice versa. Obviously right now it's not a problem when the kids are bathing or on the loo as they barely even shut the door but that will change.

To add to the fun I have IBS, which doesn't flare often but when it does I need to go urgently, and someone being in there can be quite distressing. We can't have visitors despite having a spare room as we can't manage any more people using the bathroom. It's a very old house, rented and no way they will put in another bathroom - we have tried to persuade them! There's also no way of dividing up the room and separating the loo from the bath as it's tiny and the bath is against the back wall, door would then be off my son's bedroom. The kids and I bath in the evening to space out the usage, but husband is a big sweaty fella (sorry!) so needs to bath in the morning before work.

Just typing this out has made me realise how shit it is, but other people must live like this too... don't they?

OP posts:
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7
Longdistance · 02/09/2020 22:22

I can’t manage to share the en-suite with my dh as he hogs it, but the shower is better in the bathroom.
I don’t know how people cope with one toilet Blush

dementedma · 02/09/2020 22:22

We have raised 3 kids to adulthood in a flat with just one bathroom . We had a shower attachme t thing so you could sit in the bath and "shower" but that was it. Asked everyone if they needed the loo before anyone had a bath. No way anyone is taking a dump or a piss while I'm in the bath. Gross! You just get by with what you have.

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:23

He has a bath every morning?? Is he a coal miner?!

I'm not sure I quite understood this but it made me laugh! No, he has an ordinary job but is very large and sweaty.

How big is your back yard/garden? Maybe get a port-a-loo? That will solve emergency loo situations. Strange but it would work.

We do have plenty of space for a portaloo. No back door so would involve going out and round which would feel a bit weird, and awkward bumping into the neighbours (oh god me in my pyjamas and what if they wanted to chat?!) but I am still tempted.

Can he not shower at work (if his work has facilities)?

Sadly not. He is pretty good about getting out if you knock and tell him you need in but sometimes needs to rinse while I stand miserably outside. I don't like it but I don't totally mind having a communal wee, but it's not nice to go in for anything else in a tiny bathroom when someone is in the bath...

OP posts:
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:24

I'm not sure if uptight is the right words but DH and I are both quite private about the bathroom. Not helpful really, is it?!

OP posts:
Hawkmoth · 02/09/2020 22:24

How do we manage? My youngest occasionally pees in a bush and my oldest moans at me if she doesn't get in the bathroom quick enough. Otherwise, DH and I have no scruples about peeing with the other in the shower (we have no bath!). Could you put a curtain round the bath?

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 02/09/2020 22:24

It’s fine for us but I’m a single parent! Two kids.

MillieEpple · 02/09/2020 22:25

Coukd you put an outdoor bath in. Like a jacuzzi is almost ubiquitous now.

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:26

He needs to change his routine- have a bath in the evening and a quick sink wash in the morning.

I honestly think he needs a proper wash. He's one of those people that's always hot and has big visible pores and gets sweaty easily - definitely after a night's sleep. I don't mean to make him sound gross, he's the loveliest man.

Also doesn't help that due to said sloping ceiling, you can't stand up straight at the sink to have a wash either. The number of times I've smacked my head...

OP posts:
hammeringinmyhead · 02/09/2020 22:27

@Intrepidintrovert

I'm not sure if uptight is the right words but DH and I are both quite private about the bathroom. Not helpful really, is it?!
Well... you can't be, really, if you can't/won't move.
Jocasta2018 · 02/09/2020 22:28

It's a tough gig but someone has to do it...

speakout · 02/09/2020 22:28

Moving is your best option then.

toconclude · 02/09/2020 22:29

I'm sure the IBS adds a special complication, but honestly? Brought up two kids [ one with SN] with one bathroom (downstairs) and it was fine. The vast majority of people do it. Only on MN is this seen as odd/inadequate. I recall getting abused on here for saying it was manageeable by everyone just having some patience and letting people know you were waiting/checking who needed it more before locking the door [we have also once kids left home occasionally bathed and used toilet in tandem]. I expect the insults will happen again now, but shrug : it's the truth.

JamieLeeCurtains · 02/09/2020 22:29

You don't have a back door?

MabelFurball · 02/09/2020 22:30

If I was you I would just piss in a jug (chamber pot) and tip it down the sink.

MillieEpple · 02/09/2020 22:31

As you dont have a back door, my second suggestion is an old fashioned tin bath in front of the fire for DH. Its what my parents generation grew up with.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 02/09/2020 22:32

Yes, you have to get used to doing the toilet infrastructure of someone in the bath/shower and them coming in to dk the toilet while you are in the bath/shower. Its the only way in here. We have 2 kids, third on the way and a very small bathroom.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 02/09/2020 22:33

In front, not Infrastructure Hmm

MrsPeacockInTheLibrary · 02/09/2020 22:34

Old school:

pan under the bed for you so you can go in the mornings

commode somewhere in house

if nothing else really can be done

bumblingbovine49 · 02/09/2020 22:34

Op. I agree I hate it. Of course it is manageable but I would much much prefer to have two loos. I don't care about half Ng more than one one shower and/ or bath, just the loo

category12 · 02/09/2020 22:35

I'm surprised it's such a massive issue - just boot him out of the bath when you're desperate to go. He doesn't need to be in the bath for ages in the morning.

musicposy · 02/09/2020 22:35

Same issue as you and we can’t move either. We are currently 4 adults in a house with one bathroom. I’d love to get a second toilet put in but there’s nowhere to put it and finances don’t currently allow.

I was very ill in March (possible COVID) and the only one bathroom was a real issue as we could not isolate from each other.

When I got too unwell to walk to the bathroom we got the camping toilet out of the loft, where it has stayed. We keep toilet roll and hand sanitiser with it. Useful in dire situations. You need the green organic toilet fluid as you can’t put the blue stuff down a home toilet.

That and we have a shower curtain so if it’s eIther DH or DD in the bath they will draw the curtain if I need a wee. Doesn’t solve other combinations of people such as DH and DD, but it is something.

I’d go with a combination of both options.

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 02/09/2020 22:36

OP, I feel your pain.

I had six - yes, six- bathrooms/loos in my marital home. More than one apiece. I then had to move to a house with one bathroom, which also houses the loo.

Lots and lots of negotiating. Some weeing in Tupperware containers. Some pooing in buckets lined with plastic bags (always me, never the DC). I sometimes saved up a poo and went to the local Sainsbury's, which has a loo (though this is no good with IBS). I lived in fear of sick bugs.

The best thing I ever, ever, ever did was install a tiny second loo under the stairs. Not that this is an option for you, but I really do sympathise.

lotusbiscuit · 02/09/2020 22:36

Shower curtain, radio on loud, get over the immodesty.

We have same issue, tiny house, one bathroom, DP who likes to take 20 minute dumps in the morning.

category12 · 02/09/2020 22:37

Barmy.

Sarah510 · 02/09/2020 22:38

could he go swimming in the morning before work, or shower at the gym? having a crappy bathroom is a PITA. Just moved from an apartment with the teeniest bathroom you ever saw, though there was a shower - not sure if a large man would have fit into it though! Have a huge bathroom now - I think it must have originally been a bedroom maybe. Oh and a downstairs loo. We feel spoilt. I hope you can manage to move soon, it seems very hard to manage with what you have atm