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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you manage with one bathroom

259 replies

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 21:43

We have one bathroom in our house and it's getting pretty unbearable. I don't really know what to do! Are there ANY 'workarounds' that you've come up with? We categorically can't move for very specific reasons that are too outing to share but are 100% solid stone.

Every morning when I wake up I need a wee straight away, and inevitably my husband is in the bath. We have no shower. No way of installing a shower as it's a very old, pokey house and the ceiling is very low and sloping over the bath and there's no other room. I end up in discomfort (and unable to do anything to start my day as I need it too urgently to move about). Occasionally I go in and wee but hate invading my husband's privacy and since the bathroom is tiny, it's pretty weird to just sit next to him weeing. Even if you told me to get over myself (I know plenty of people don't mind weeing or pooing in front of their spouse), we have two children who are approaching teenagehood and whom definitely won't want to wee or poo in front of mum or dad while mum or dad is naked in the bath, or vice versa. Obviously right now it's not a problem when the kids are bathing or on the loo as they barely even shut the door but that will change.

To add to the fun I have IBS, which doesn't flare often but when it does I need to go urgently, and someone being in there can be quite distressing. We can't have visitors despite having a spare room as we can't manage any more people using the bathroom. It's a very old house, rented and no way they will put in another bathroom - we have tried to persuade them! There's also no way of dividing up the room and separating the loo from the bath as it's tiny and the bath is against the back wall, door would then be off my son's bedroom. The kids and I bath in the evening to space out the usage, but husband is a big sweaty fella (sorry!) so needs to bath in the morning before work.

Just typing this out has made me realise how shit it is, but other people must live like this too... don't they?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 21:59

Wake up before your husband so you can go to the loo first?

I do sometimes get up early and then go back to bed. But I work late and he works early so it cuts into my sleep time if I do this.

Re him bathing every morning, I'm not trying to be horrid to him as I love him to bits but he's a very, very large man and would be too sweaty in the morning to not bathe or to use wetwipes. The problem with the tap attachment thingy is that because of the sloping ceiling you can't stand up in the bath so it's a bit tricky. I could sit in the bath (which isn't a fullsize bath by the way - poor husband) and do it but husband is pretty wedged in there once he's in and I don't think could manage.

It's a really bloody unsuitable house.

But yes, I grew up with one bathroom too. I can't remember how we managed. Lots of crossing our legs I think.

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtains · 02/09/2020 22:00

I know you don't have a shower but (a) put a shower curtain up for privacy between the bath and the loo, and (b) at least get a bath tap shower device.

Then I'd plan to move, and tell the landlord(s) why. If the landlords are your parents on a farm, maybe go halves on an an outdoor loo. Or go and use their loo.

Or get a portaloo.

We managed by everyone having a one-day timed morning slot and always shouting a one minute warning. But none of us had IBS or bladder urgency and there wasn't a sweaty husband in play having a morning bath.

taranaki · 02/09/2020 22:00

I can’t fathom running a full bath and just lounging around in there of a morning. Doesn't he have anywhere to be? Surely the point of a morning wash is a functional one and not to relax and mess about. The suggestion of one of those rubber attachments to turn your bath into a shower is great. Otherwise I'd go to the loo before he gets in the bath. Going forward I'd say you'll need to schedule two people wash at night before bed and the other two in the morning.

Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:01

I like the shower curtain idea. I'm going to have a look to see if I can rig something up. I suspect the sloping ceiling might put paid to it though as the slop starts less than a foot above the top of the bath.

OP posts:
ssd · 02/09/2020 22:01

How do we manage??

There isn't much choice is there, unless you want to start shitting in the garden?!?

BrieAndChilli · 02/09/2020 22:01

We have one bathroom (but do have both a shower and bath in it) we have 3 kids aged 9-13 and it’s become unbearable only having one toilet. Invariably school mornings are a constant stream of people banging on the door demanding that whoever is having a shower hurry up, people busting for a wee and although sometimes we will just have 2 people using the bathroom they kids are at the age where they want privacy which they should have and although me and DH will share the bathroom it means having the door unlocked and open (as will only remain shut if locked due to the time of door) and again the kids don’t /shouldn’t be seeing us naked either anymore.

We rent and are hoping with fingers crossed that we can get a mortgage to move. I would love 2 bathrooms but the minimum I will settle for is a bathroom and an extra toilet somewhere!!

Mustbethewine · 02/09/2020 22:02

I wouldn't wait for any of my DP to finish his bath or shower if I need the loo, wouldn't expect him to wait for me to finish either. Do you have a shower curtain so he can still have his privacy? Or maybe get a shower attachment for your bath taps so he can get a quicker wash in the morning?

Deltoids1 · 02/09/2020 22:04

I never lived in a house with more than 1 loo until I was in my 30s. Just use the loo while you’re DH is in the bath. It’s not a big deal. You let this man have sex with you so I don’t understand why going to the loo is an issue.
My entire household seem to walk in to talk to my while I’m on the loo. I do give my teenagers privacy when they’re in there but it’s doesn’t seem to be a two way courtesy. Even the cat comes in, FFS.

Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:05

Or get a portaloo.

Hmmm that's interesting. I wonder if it's a possibility. I did buy a camping potty when I had an injury once (as guess what, the only bathroom is also upstairs!) so maybe I should just give in and start using it regularly.

My inlaws have all been to the toilet in my back garden before (like, wild style) when someone or other was in the bath so this would be better than that.

Husband is the only one who bathes in the morning. Yes he does take too bloody long, but he gets up early to do it and is nearly out by the time I wake, just a horrid 10 - 15 min crossover (my legs are crossing over!) I have no idea why anyone wants to lounge in the bath, it's not my kind of thing at all. He has a very stressful job and I think it's how he gears himself up for the day.

OP posts:
Shantotto · 02/09/2020 22:05

A bath doesn’t need to take any longer than a shower really does it? You don’t need to be in bathroom while it’s running. Then jump in, wash your body as fast as you would if you were in the shower and you’re done! I don’t think a shower would solve this problem anyway!

negomi90 · 02/09/2020 22:06

Can you put an opaque curtain all the way round the bath - one you stick to the ceiling (so you can take it down before the landlord sees).
That way the person in the bath can't be seen by the person on the loo. Not nice, but better than nothing.

iolaus · 02/09/2020 22:06

Before anyone goes in the bath or shower they ask the others if they need the loo (it's generally a loud shout out rather than going round individually)

The youngest used to occasionally go out the back and pee into the drain if he needed the loo if someone was in the bath (but I think thats just because he thought it was funny rather than him being desperate)

TinySleepThief · 02/09/2020 22:06

I appreciate you're trying to be sympathetic but as it's his desire to have a bath thats causing the issue I'd actually also be asking him for his ideas in resolving the problem. Although im now baffeld even more that hes having a full bath every morning even ignoring the huge amount of water used its weird hes happy to squash into it for so long each day especially if he can't sit comfortably.

Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:06

@BrieAndChilli Echo absolutely everything you say. This is totally us. It's really tricky. Manageable if we have no guests and for now, but I just feel like when the kids are teens it's going to suck.

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iolaus · 02/09/2020 22:07

Oh and if you are in the bath for a long period of time the person needing the loo knocks the door - you then speed up and get out (so if in the middle of washing you'd finish up but if just relaxing then get out)

Alonetime · 02/09/2020 22:08

How long does he take?

Ragwort · 02/09/2020 22:09

How long is he in the bath? Surely if you are lying there awake, desperate to use the loo but he is lounging around in the bath it would be just as easy for him to nudge you awake while he is running his bath so you can use the loo quickly before he gets in the bath, and then you go back to bed ? Confused.

I do sympathise, for the first ten years of our marriage we had one bathroom & managed fine ... now we have three bathrooms plus a cloakroom for three of us (& DS usually away at Uni) and it is so much better Blush.

Iggly · 02/09/2020 22:10

Maybe you’ll just have to think about moving if affordable...

Exploring · 02/09/2020 22:13

We have a shower curtain and a spring fit pole, and announce the bath is running if anyone needs to dive in there.

Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 22:15

Yes we do the 'I'm going to have a bath now, does anyone need in first?' thing. Inevitably everyone dives in and you're sitting around waiting to start running your bath. And then just as you climb in, your son comes in to do the stinkiest poo and chat loudly to you.

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 02/09/2020 22:16

I agree you have a dh problem.
Loads of families only have one bathroom and always manage, I really do not understand why it is such an issue.

TinySleepThief · 02/09/2020 22:16

@Intrepidintrovert

Yes we do the 'I'm going to have a bath now, does anyone need in first?' thing. Inevitably everyone dives in and you're sitting around waiting to start running your bath. And then just as you climb in, your son comes in to do the stinkiest poo and chat loudly to you.
Wouldn't it make more sense if you made the announcement once the bath is full?
creamorwhite · 02/09/2020 22:17

Can you ask your LL if you can put in an extra loo at your own expense? If you can afford to do so you could take a bit off the kitchen or another room?

fromcitytocountry · 02/09/2020 22:20

Could you share a layout of your bathroom? Is there scope to rejig it and move the toilet under the slope and the bath under the higher point, allowing you a shower?

Do you have any spare space e.g. a cupboard that could be converted to just a toilet and sink?

Could you fit an ensuite within your room?

Just a few thoughts that avoid wild toilet use, a potty, portaloo etc...all of which are not the ideal scenario

speakout · 02/09/2020 22:20

Yuur OH is being selfish having a bath while everyone is trying to get ready in the morning.
He needs to change his routine- have a bath in the evening and a quick sink wash in the morning.