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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you manage with one bathroom

259 replies

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 21:43

We have one bathroom in our house and it's getting pretty unbearable. I don't really know what to do! Are there ANY 'workarounds' that you've come up with? We categorically can't move for very specific reasons that are too outing to share but are 100% solid stone.

Every morning when I wake up I need a wee straight away, and inevitably my husband is in the bath. We have no shower. No way of installing a shower as it's a very old, pokey house and the ceiling is very low and sloping over the bath and there's no other room. I end up in discomfort (and unable to do anything to start my day as I need it too urgently to move about). Occasionally I go in and wee but hate invading my husband's privacy and since the bathroom is tiny, it's pretty weird to just sit next to him weeing. Even if you told me to get over myself (I know plenty of people don't mind weeing or pooing in front of their spouse), we have two children who are approaching teenagehood and whom definitely won't want to wee or poo in front of mum or dad while mum or dad is naked in the bath, or vice versa. Obviously right now it's not a problem when the kids are bathing or on the loo as they barely even shut the door but that will change.

To add to the fun I have IBS, which doesn't flare often but when it does I need to go urgently, and someone being in there can be quite distressing. We can't have visitors despite having a spare room as we can't manage any more people using the bathroom. It's a very old house, rented and no way they will put in another bathroom - we have tried to persuade them! There's also no way of dividing up the room and separating the loo from the bath as it's tiny and the bath is against the back wall, door would then be off my son's bedroom. The kids and I bath in the evening to space out the usage, but husband is a big sweaty fella (sorry!) so needs to bath in the morning before work.

Just typing this out has made me realise how shit it is, but other people must live like this too... don't they?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 23:17

I’m serious here if he can’t stand up use one of those stools to sit on and wash hair. Don’t know if it would help but perhaps the little things will add up.

That's an interesting thing - I hadn't thought of a little seat in the bath. Thank you.

I wish there was a way to put up a shower curtain but I can't think that it's possible with that slope on the one side.

Any outbuildings that could have an electric shower put in?

Sadly no. I'm desperate for a shower. I hate having a bath as I always feel clammy when I get out (especially as the room is tiny).

Sorry to sound whiney. Obviously day to day we just make do with what we have! And sorry for replies I'm missing, trying to keep up.

OP posts:
Laufeythejust · 02/09/2020 23:17

My gran has this set up when we were younger and lived with her. At one point 2 girls a boy and 2 adults sharing a bathroom without a shower. We would shout in and the shower curtain would go round the bath and we would just have to do our business quickly! I look back fondly on the arguments. We had one of those shower attachment things, they have probably advanced a bit by now as when one popped off mid shower It was either 3rd degree burns or pneumonia!

Purpleheadgirl · 02/09/2020 23:19

Try a shewee or female urinal bottle with a lid and then empty it asap after?

AquarianSquirrel · 02/09/2020 23:19

A shower curtain. Used to chat to my Mum whilst on the loo and her in the bath and vice versa all the time when I lived at home. And bro used to use the loo and vice versa, minus the chatting...haha

daisypond · 02/09/2020 23:20

You can get circular shower rails. I’ve got one. They are completely enclosed. The only have one fixing place so you don’t need a straight line between two points. You could put it on the tall wall.

Deadringer · 02/09/2020 23:21

I am sorry if this has been asked already, but can you afford to add on a bathroom yourself? Either at the back of the house or in a cupboard, or even an ensuite if you have room. Surely the LL wouldn't object if you pay for it. If not i would definitely get a chemical loo for emergencies, it can be very stressful trying to hold it when you really need to go.

oakleaffy · 02/09/2020 23:25

@Intrepidintrovert
So sympathise.
I lived like this..Hell is one bathroom with more than one person.

Hell Squared is a combined bathroom and lavatory.

In the distant past I'm afraid I have had to use a receptacle to pee in in dire emergencies, while someone was hogging the bath.

A rota, maybe?...It is miserable, and no way to live.

Two lavatories at least are essential if there is more than one person.

Scrowy · 02/09/2020 23:27

Or ignore the slopey bit

To ask how you manage with one bathroom
Dramalady52 · 02/09/2020 23:27

Another vote for a commode. When house hunting I looked at quite a few little Victorian terraced houses which have downstairs bathrooms. As I had no intention of trekking through the house in the dark when i needed a midnight widdle i did a lot of research and found commodes which seemed the ideal solution.

Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 23:27

The bath sounds agonising and awkward if he's as big as you say. How can he get himself clean if he can't move in it? Surely he'd do better with a rubber shower attachment on the kitchen taps while he stands in a big tray

Yes I actually do think the bath is very uncomfortable for him. My diagram that I drew (thanks for the compliments Grin ) is actually very generous on space - his tummy touches both sides of the bath. I think the attachment might be a good way forward. We had one once before (gifted from the inlaws... ) but it didn't work as the hose was short and we couldn't stand up next to the taps.

We don’t have a shower either, but we do have a shower / bath mixer tap with a very long hose piece. We can’t stand up at the tap end but we can the other end of the bath. Is that possible for you? Can you stand at that end?

This was very encouraging, thank you @daisypond I'm going to look into getting one with a long hose. I can stand up at the non-tap/non-slope end. I must ask husband if he can - he's a lot taller than me. Fingers crossed. The only problem might be that I think the bathroom taps are a weird shape (square - although you know that thing where you use them every day but suddenly can't remember what your taps look like?!) but at least that would be a starting point as LL would be more likely to replace the taps than remodel the bathroom.

Thanks for all the other replies too as it's nice just to have some things I hadn't thought of and some fresh perspective.

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Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 23:30

We had one of those shower attachment things, they have probably advanced a bit by now as when one popped off mid shower It was either 3rd degree burns or pneumonia!

Haha that's my experience of them too! My gran had one and we had one briefly but had to crouch next to the taps to use it so not much good.

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Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 23:31

Sorry @Scrowy thanks for the diagram but I'm not following:

Or ignore the slopey bit

How can I ignore it?

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JKRisaqueen · 02/09/2020 23:31

I grew up with 7 people to one bathroom and it was no big deal. It should build consideration for others. For starters, your husband needs to address the timing of his bath.

Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 23:33

I am LOVING the commode idea! (Well, as much as you can love any idea that involves a chair toilet!) This seems like such a good idea. Obviously emptying it wouldn't be pleasant but then nor is what we have going on now...

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Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 23:33

Sorry for all the bodily functions on this thread by the way!

I haven't yet mentioned the situation if a D&V bug hits the house...

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Lilymossflower · 02/09/2020 23:34

Could Get a shower curtain as others have said

Or wee in a cup and pour it down the sink

Or save it up and give urine therapy a go ;)

MandalaYogaTapestry · 02/09/2020 23:34

We only have one bathroom, a family with two teens. No problem whatsoever. We do have a separate shower cubicle inside and a shower attachment in the bath tub (a proper one, not rubber) but in any case the bathroom is never used by more than one person at a time. I.e. if one is in the shower there won't be anyone on the loo. Personally, I would find it just grim. We manage without portaloos or observing each other's bodily functions.

SciFiScream · 02/09/2020 23:34

It doesn't help you (or maybe it does I don't know) but I've realised I can build a porch on the front door and it can be as big as 3m x 3m without needing planning permission! I think I could fit a toilet in there.

Maybe even a shower! I can go 2.8 x 3 m and there are drains at the front.

All our plumbing is at the back of the house but I'm hoping the drains make it a bit easier?

oakleaffy · 02/09/2020 23:36

@Intrepidintrovert
My bathroom was tiny. A bath and a loo and a sink which covered half the window.

I hated it.

I contemplated a shower, but the sloping ceiling made it impossible, and the space between wall and door was too narrow.

In the end I had to take down a wall, move it 15 cms and build it again.

It was hellacious.

But sooo worth it. now have a lovely {to me} bathroom- still small, but no bath and a shower.

Here is a pic of work being done...showing tiny size and grim state!...and the new position of wall. Here the Plumber is bashing out a new soil pipe hole.
Did a lot of work ourselves re taking down of ceiling- DS built stud wall.

CheetasOnFajitas · 02/09/2020 23:36

Commode in the guest room - you say you don’t use that room anyway.

Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 23:36

Oh I think I'm following you @Scrowy I think you drew a shower curtain? (No shade, my drawing is far from perfect!)

No you see I can't ignore the slopey bit as the slopey bit is the ceiling. All the way along the lefthand side of the bathroom, the ceiling slopes like that. Where you've drawn the top left corner of the shower curtain is actually outside the house.

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Oncemorewithfeelin · 02/09/2020 23:36

If you can get a longer shower attachment that can reach the other end of the bath can he not just sit in the bath and hold it. It doesn’t need to be hands free and he doesn’t need to stand up to use it. It will be very similar to what he is doing now except no temptation to sit and soak.

CheetasOnFajitas · 02/09/2020 23:39

The Japanese shower sitting on little stools. They have them in all the onsen (hot spring) baths. You have to shower thoroughly before going in the spring. I got very used to it when I travelled there.

Original poster
Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 23:39

If you can get a longer shower attachment that can reach the other end of the bath can he not just sit in the bath and hold it. It doesn’t need to be hands free and he doesn’t need to stand up to use it. It will be very similar to what he is doing now except no temptation to sit and soak.

Yes I am really liking this idea at the moment. It wouldn't solve everything (people on the loo, illness etc) but would take care of the morning misery anyway.

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mrshonda · 02/09/2020 23:40

I had the same arrangement of bathroom and bath. I fitted shower attachment to taps, with long hose, and mounted it on long wall over bath, then fitted a ring shaped rail to the wall above it to hold a shower curtain over the bath. That was a rented house too, and it worked very well.