To ask whether you know what you look like

[hughjackman88]

Inspired by a similar thread. Does anyone else not know how they truly look?
I honestly couldn't tell you my true hair colour, dark or light, or whether I am fat or skinny, I see myself in comparison to the people around me. Some of my features look so awful, yet on other women they look nice.
I see other women as beautiful, almost all women, yet I feel I look strange, my features don't fit and I couldn't begin to describe them.
History of depression could factor into this. I have always felt unattractive, from as early as I can remember. Does anyone else feel like this and can you describe it again properly? I'm trying to change my way of thinking, I would love to be confident in the way I look, to have the confidence to say 'I'm a blonde' or 'I'm a brunette'.

How do you feel when you look at photos of yourself?

I look like a stunted big chinned dwarf and it’s become increasingly obvious that I am NOT “ageing well”

I used to be really pretty! It’s like my face has caved in.

I'm 5'10, slim build, long dark hair and I have hazel eyes. You need to do some self care and learn to love who you are. When I was depressed I avoided looking in the mirror so can relate to what you describe. My life has truly transformed since I started taking pride in my physical appearance again.

@SleepingStandingUp terrible, in fact some days when I'm feeling more confident (in the mirror) I take a photo and i look so bad that I'm back to square 1. I've never taken a good photo and my social media has about 2 photos of me because of it.

@KrabbyPatties I'm sure you are beautiful, it sounds like you understand what I mean and that is such a shame.

@Tiger929 your hair and eyes sound lovely. Depression is terrible. I do wonder if I've always suffered it somehow as the low self esteem goes back even to pre school. Is it even possible for depression to affect a child that young?

I’m blonde and quite pretty in the face but fat! I’m not always fat, my weight fluctuates year on year but right now I am very much in a fat stage and not at all happy with how I look!

[quote hughjackman88]@Tiger929 your hair and eyes sound lovely. Depression is terrible. I do wonder if I've always suffered it somehow as the low self esteem goes back even to pre school. Is it even possible for depression to affect a child that young?[/quote]
Thank you. My self esteem was also extremely low and it does all stem back to childhood. I highly recommend the book Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway. Great for boosting self esteem

In my mind I look great , then I accidentally glimpse my reflection and am scared shitless that an old skinny angular lady is stalking me....I then realise it’s me!

I'm 5ft 10 size 10/12 with long (dyed) black hair and olive skin,big boobs,smallish waist,large brown eyes and a slightly bigger than average nose.

I feel the same OP. I haven’t a clue what I actually look like.

I am a tomato on legs but still mysteriously attractive to men. I am convinced that what beauty magazines and cinemas tell us is attractive is nothing to to with what we actually find attractive in real life anyway. My DP has a dad bod and is as bald as a coot, but he is gorgeous to me.

@SarahBellam

I am a tomato on legs but still mysteriously attractive to men. I am convinced that what beauty magazines and cinemas tell us is attractive is nothing to to with what we actually find attractive in real life anyway. My DP has a dad bod and is as bald as a coot, but he is gorgeous to me.

Aw, that's such a lovely post.

I don’t have any pictures of myself on social media and hate having my photo taken to be put on public view. I took a selfie the other day just out of curiosity as I’m growing out my hair dye and embracing the grey. No intention of posting it anywhere. I was shocked how tired I looked, I seem to have aged massively over the last 3-4 years and I’m the spitting image of my dm.

I'm a bit fat and have BRIGHT blue hair. I'm ok with it

Posted too soon. Meant to say I'm ok with it... but I wasn't always. I wear my weirdness like a shield these days, after years of feeling invisible.

I saw a woman on tv today who was same age, same build and same colouring and I had such a negative reaction to her!
I started to question if I'm desperately trying to hold on to my youth or using my hair to detract from some negative points and if I'm dressing to avoid being classed as a certain type!!
For context I'm nearly 50, red-haired and overweight. I still think I'm some auburn haired nymph!

I'm the same but I have prosopagnisia so I'm like it with everyone! 😁 I couldn't tell you one from another most of the time.

Wow. This thread has quite shocked me.

I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.
Then I catch sight of myself and realise that I don't.
I look like I've been dragged through it sideways by a wild bear instead.

I'm in my forties and I only just realised I've been pulling a special mirror face for literally all my life. I had no idea I had no chin, hooded eyes and thin lips in real life because I do a stupid pouty face with my tongue between my teeth and eyebrows raised literally every time I look in a mirror. Shocking. I wish I could get surgery to make my mirror face real but I also kind of think it's hilarious that my vanity made me do this for decades. Poor ugly me

I quite like my face in the bathroom mirror but that's probably because I've prepared it. Caught off guard, I look old, ill, pale and huge.

I have good and bad days but generally I get up everyday and try and wear clothes that are neutral and plain so I can mix and match. I try and get my hair done once a year and don’t do nails or anything but I do slap more make up on and sometimes brush my hair and sometimes not, and occasionally I style it. I am overweight but not too worried as I just don’t care anymore but I stick to my basics of wearing semi plain and neutral clothes and make up. That’s all. I don’t think there’s a recipe to happy or liking yourself but just to like and love yourself whatever you look like and be self encouraged because of everything you’ve been through.

I used to be very attractive. Not beautiful but my features are well balanced and I always scrubbed up well.

Then my son died.

These days I look in the mirror and see a shadow of my former self. I look permanently tired and am quite ugly these days and don't want anyone to feel sorry for me but that is a fact. Plus I am 65 so obviously my face has aged somewhat.

However if I try, I scrub up ok when I have to.

I am seriously considering getting some work done on my lower face - the thread about lower facial surgery inspired me.

I think when women grow older they settle into their looks but remembering how they looked when they were younger and more vital can be a stinger !

@Tillygetsit are you me? That's what I was trying to say, I've been preparing my stupid face all my life Tilly really gets it