To ask whether you know what you look like

[hughjackman88]

Inspired by a similar thread. Does anyone else not know how they truly look?
I honestly couldn't tell you my true hair colour, dark or light, or whether I am fat or skinny, I see myself in comparison to the people around me. Some of my features look so awful, yet on other women they look nice.
I see other women as beautiful, almost all women, yet I feel I look strange, my features don't fit and I couldn't begin to describe them.
History of depression could factor into this. I have always felt unattractive, from as early as I can remember. Does anyone else feel like this and can you describe it again properly? I'm trying to change my way of thinking, I would love to be confident in the way I look, to have the confidence to say 'I'm a blonde' or 'I'm a brunette'.

I feel like I used to be pretty and slim in my 20s but I thought I was fat and ugly (self esteem issues from school bullying) I wish I’d have made more of myself. So I’m late 30s now and making the most of it before I’m 70 and think the same as I do now about my 20s.

I'm nearly six feet tall, waist length black hair, grey eyes, wonky teeth, decent enough face and good skin. Fatter than I used to be but not as fat as I have been and I'm content with that.
Nice hands and feet. Big boobs. Big bum. Strong legs.

I know what I look like but not what I look like to other people!

I have long hair that isn't as flattering as I think it is. I'm fat (think size 20/22) sorry if that word is triggering. I thought I looked quite young in the face but after several sad life events and exhausting life events I think I look older than my age despite having very few wrinkles. I sometimes catch a glimpse and think 'who is that fat old crow'.

I need to get back on the straight and narrow but I'm honestly lost at the moment and I don't have the energy to do anything as I feel so sad.

I'm going to suggest to people who think they look awful in selfies to book a professional photo shoot.
I did that, and came away feeling much more attractive.
Certainly I feel better about my looks when I feel healthy and have my (low level) anxiety/depression under control.
It's easier to do self care/hair/ make up and smiling when you are feeling healthier, but the self care can definitely improve how you feel so it's a bit chicken-and-egg.
I also think getting out and about and seeing 'normal' people is a great antidote to all the 'perfection' on tv and social media.

Fat, tall, long dark hair, nice face but shame about the body. Lines catch me by surprise every so often. Maybe I will get Botox after all.

In my mind I am much more attractive than I am in reality.

Part of that is due to having missed about seven years due to mental illness so I am always surprised to see a person seven years older looking back at me.

Unfortunately too many work video meetings mean I know exactly what my face looks like, and I don't like it

I generally think my face looks better close up. I mean I’d say all the features are there in the right place (and some could say some bits are fairly attractive) but from a distance (from what I’ve seen in photos) my face looks like someone punched a marshmallow.

@vampirethriller I would love to have grey eyes

Lionel, punched marshmallow! Yes, that’s me!

I have body dysmorphia and I find that sometimes I look so weird and ugly. Other times I think I'm pretty. But in photos I have never ever been pretty. I'm a straight up hag in photos.

I have nice eyes and a nice smile but I’m fat, and even when I was slim (size 8) my face was still fat so I know I’m doomed to hangdog jowls, it’s almost like I can see my cheeks slipping into them like a slow moving glacier.

And the chin hairs!

I was beautiful in my 20s and looked ok in my thirties. Now I really struggle because I look old and haggard. It's quite depressing

5'5", size 16, not much waist, shortish neck, shoulder length wavy ginger hair, grey eyes, orangey skin tone, lots of moles, the usual wrinkles associated with being in one's 50s.

Only other people sometimes say I haven't got ginger hair. I've been called strawberry blonde or even blonde. I look in the mirror and I see ginger hair. DH says I've got ginger hair. DC say I've got ginger hair. My dad says I've got ginger hair. But are they all so used to me, and am I so used to myself, that we all fail to see that it's actually faded? I bloody hope not - I like my (as I see it) ginger hair!

I don't OP. I have body dysmorphia.

I once caught a glimpse of myself. I now know that my external appearance can be radically different to what I see in the mirror.

@DDIJ

I don't have a mirror in the house. I had a husband who kept telling me I was ugly. My DC say the same. My father ridicules me if I try to do anything to my appearance like wear lip gloss. I'm best off not knowing what I look like.

No you are not ugly, you just gave in to pigs who want you to think like that. I wish I could give you a hug

When I was young I was lucky enough to be attractive and got compliments on my looks all the time. I wasn't full of myself but I was confident and happy with how I looked. Now I am much older, haven't aged particularly well and about 2 stone overweight. I don't mind that as I figure I've had my day and enjoyed it. The problem is I sometimes forget I'm no longer the young gorgeous thing I was and then I will catch myself in a mirror or see my reflection in a shop window and I get a shock I don't mind though as ultimately I don't care what people think of how I look.

Objectively I would describe myself as a 5'5 woman with a size 12 hourglass figure, medium brown curly hair, round face and green eyes.

When I look in the mirror I see a pasty moon face with suitcases under my eyes, a big nose and no jawline definition. Oh and grey hairs that I'm refusing to acknowledge because I'm only 30 My body I see as being covered in a layer of blubber like a seal. I strongly dislike my chubby stubby hands, my fat knees, my threatening double chin and my lack of defined ankles.

But my DD thinks I'm a Princess so that's all that matters really! (In reality I'm more Brienne of Tarth then Sansa Stark....)