To ask whether you know what you look like

[hughjackman88]

Inspired by a similar thread. Does anyone else not know how they truly look?
I honestly couldn't tell you my true hair colour, dark or light, or whether I am fat or skinny, I see myself in comparison to the people around me. Some of my features look so awful, yet on other women they look nice.
I see other women as beautiful, almost all women, yet I feel I look strange, my features don't fit and I couldn't begin to describe them.
History of depression could factor into this. I have always felt unattractive, from as early as I can remember. Does anyone else feel like this and can you describe it again properly? I'm trying to change my way of thinking, I would love to be confident in the way I look, to have the confidence to say 'I'm a blonde' or 'I'm a brunette'.

@Anordinarymum I'm so sorry about your son, that's my worst nightmare and everything else is so fucking insignificant

I only like certain mirrors. I hate mirrors where full light shows my age. I detest seeing my face on facetime. It magnifies every line and wrinkle.

@Anordinarymum. I’m so sorry about your son .. that’s heartbreaking to hear .

@cheeseislife8

Posted too soon. Meant to say I'm ok with it... but I wasn't always. I wear my weirdness like a shield these days, after years of feeling invisible.

This. Actually even your username sounds like me... are we related??

I would say for a 40 year old I am reasonably attractive. I think I’ve aged quite well when I compare myself to others the same age. When I put the effort in and wear nice clothes, make up and hair and look in the mirror and I think you look descent for your age.

However...... I look like a pig on most photos and I look ugly as sin in lots of angles. I look at a photo where I’ve been caught off guard and I’m a dog

So I don’t know which one is me

[quote CaptainAthena]@Anordinarymum I'm so sorry about your son, that's my worst nightmare and everything else is so fucking insignificant [/quote]
Thank you. It's been nearly three years. i'm still here though :)

@SummerPoppies

I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. Then I catch sight of myself and realise that I don't. I look like I've been dragged through it sideways by a wild bear instead.

This made me genuinely lol.

@Anordinarymum so sorry for your loss

Sorry.. I feel like I hijacked the thread.

Life events can change the way we look, and strangely... not for the better !

A friend of mine broke his neck years ago and was completely paralysed, he had the same injury as Christopher Reeve.

Whilst I can have days when I look in the mirror in the morning or late at night and think wtf, I generally love my body, simply for what it can do. I might have bingo wings, but I can pick up my cat and my dog and I can cuddle my kids. I might have cellulite, but I can go for long walks on the beach with friends and my dogs.

My dad is 90 and his body is failing, he cant walk and can't leave the house anymore. Love your bodies for the things they can do, one day you'll look back and wish you'd done more.

💕

I spend so little time looking in the mirror I'm often surprised that's me when I do. When did I become middle aged and lumpy?

I thought I looked reasonably good for my age until I had to do my first ever zoom call last week. I looked SO bad, I couldn't concentrate on the call I was distracted by how ugly I looked.

I hate catching sight of myself in the mirror and haven’t had my photo taken for years..I’m ashamed at how I’ve let myself go, to the point I’ve started making excuses if I’m invited anywhere.
I know I look awful right now and from This weekend I’m determined to do something about it!

I had an illness that left me with a degree of permanent disfigurement on my face. Nothing really major, but enough to distress me. During that period I moved to a town where I knew nobody - and nobody knew what I had looked like before. I realised that what I thought of as hideous, they just accepted. Children would occasionally ask why I looked this way, but most adults seemed not to notice. I certainly never caught anyone staring.

It made me realise that I am OK. It also made me realise that I had to come to terms with myself, or be miserable about something I couldn't change.

So many of my colleagues hate their staff photos. I see elegance, a relaxed smile, lovely hair, poise. Yet they don't see these beautiful positives. It made me realise that we are our own harshest critics, and it's neither truthful nor helpful.

So I'm OK. I'll never be a model - but I don't want to be one. I rarely like the way I look in photos, but I do want to model happiness in myself to my children, so I never make a fuss about photos and enjoy looking at them with my dc.

And my dc love me as I am. They think I'm beautiful. I chose to believe them, and to ignore the inner critic. And over the years the critic's voice has become weaker and weaker.

In my head I still see myself as I was 20 years ago so I always get a big shock when I look in a full length mirror

Well I find it difficult to describe my eye colour. It's only been in the last 5 years that I decided to plump for green but I'm not sure that's right and I'm not colour blind🤣. Likewise, real hair colour...not brunette, not blonde just meh but at least the hairdresser can do something about that!

I spend a lot of time getting ready in the morning, full make up but not heavy and check my appearance frequently before leaving home. Once at work I completely avoid looking in any mirrors because nothing can fix "that" and I wouldn't have time so there's no point.

I'm short because I'm told I'm short and I feel slightly overweight but I'm okay with that because if I put on another 6lbs I'll be wishing I was the weight I am now.

I used to be pretty when I was younger and slim. People say I’m pretty now but I don’t see it, I’m almost 50 and feel 60! I’m overweight, not massively but enough For me to not like how I look. I dint ever take selfie, never taken one and I have very few photos of me. I’ve probably got one nice photo of me. Don’t even like my wedding photos.
I don’t wear make up anymore as being a certain age my face is permanently sweaty 😂

People say that I’m beautiful but whether I feel it very much depends on mood. Sometimes I think I look like a supermodel (I really don’t!) then accidentally catch my reflection in a window and realize how wrong I am! Most of the time I think I look fucking awful. Like I have a weird, fucked-up face that makes me a thousand times uglier than everybody else. The funny thing is that I would never think the kind of awful things I think about myself about another woman. I think we should aim to be as kind and accepting and uncritical about ourselves as we would be to anybody else.

I used to get told all the time that I looked like Claudia Schiffer when I was in my 20s, I hated it at the time.
Now I am 41and I am about 2 stone overweight. I think I have very good skin for my age but my husband told me I was getting slight jowls the other day which made me feel shit. :(

I ‘saw’ myself for the first time in years whilst looking at a recent photo (at the time recent, 3 years ago now).

I’d rapidly gained weight (over 3 stone in a year) and had totally lost sight of how I looked ... until that photo, I’d still thought of myself as slim.

Now I’ve lost 3 stone I still see myself as a larger person. 🤷‍♀️

Have you asked your closest friends/family how they see you?

My daughter took a candid picture of me unawares the other day. I'm thinner than I thought, certainly thinner than I deserve to be after lockdown. Hair is even longer and in more need of a cut than I realised, though.

Zoom calls are a shocker. I had to take minutes for one meeting, so recorded it to make sure I didn't miss anything. Watching it back, ye gods. What a funny, squeaky voiced, fat faced, gurny mouthed creature I am. I am surprised I haven't been snapped up to appear in a fantasy horror film.

Oh, and my daughters inform me I definitely pull a mirror face

@earthyfire

I used to get told all the time that I looked like Claudia Schiffer when I was in my 20s, I hated it at the time. Now I am 41and I am about 2 stone overweight. I think I have very good skin for my age but my husband told me I was getting slight jowls the other day which made me feel shit. :(

He sounds nice.

I'm honestly not that bothered about how I look to others. I sort my hair in the morning, sometimes slap on a little eye shadow and lippy if I'm going out but other than that nope. Worrying about that stuff is just wasted thought in my book. If it's worry about attraction then that will come as other interests develop.