This mum and children

[Waterlamp]

Why do some mums want to be the centre of attention then pass it onto their child? Do they pass it onto their child on purpose or not?

Said mum is the smiley, over confident talks to everyone, PTA mum. Child is in the centre of all class photos, the dance shows, invited to all the parties. I've always thought how happy they must be inside but the children of hers are actually jealous of friendships, have to be the centre of attention at parties and in private other mums say how much trouble the children actually cause and how the mum is ott. The mum went out of her way to discuss an arrangement for a play date that involved her child and another infront of me, it was very blatant and I thought this is where they must get it from. These children are quite popular and the mum doesn't have private one on one convos at the school gates she has to be extra loud and let everyone hear the convo. I thought it was confidence but actually is it insecurity? Is it the mean girls film affect where everyone thinks they want to be with the popular one but doesn't actually like them that much? Are their mums like this at your schools? Why do they feel the need to be so extra

@MellowBird85 I would have said the same. It is surprising how cliquey, manipulative and competitive the school gates Mums can get. For the first time in my life since school, I feel feelings I haven't felt since on the playground at high school. Maybe not all schools are this way, though. I'm starting a new job this term, and my aim is to try and drop and run!

She is not confidant OP...she is needy and terrified of not fitting in her and her kids.Confident parents do not have to put people down or impress anyone with anything,they just get on with it!! We have a selection of the mums you describe in my dds primary and it just makes me laugh.The attention they desire for themselves and their kids is truly a thing to behold! I say hi and saunter off in the opposite direction cos their games and manipuation all wrapped up in overt friendliness and shite does my head in and i cant be bothered to induge them and play their games and pander to the how amazing are these mummies etc! Most of the time to me they look like overgrown kids finding their feet too and thats not a good look!!! Have a chuckle to yourself,wave hello and move on out of their radar is my top tip.

Why are you bothered? Does that affect you? Are you jealous?

It’s hard to tell if you just can’t stand her OP or if she is a bit grating and pushy.

Probably a mix of both but don’t slag off the kid for being in the middle of a school photo or picked for the choir etc, imagine pulling apart a kid on MN cos you don’t like the mum? Bit tragic.

Drop and go, always worked with me, even when a sahm.
I took cakes in (bought) for fetes and turned up for parents evenings etc.
If they were going to play after school I'd prefer a call, then you can be oh so busy

So glad my mum wasn't this petty and spiteful when I was a girl.

Why don't you try to rise above it, OP? This sniping at another woman makes you look desperately insecure and chippy.

OP, your posts have taken on an increasingly nasty tone. Your first post described the mum as over-confident (no such thing) and her children as popular, and now that people have told you that there is nothing wrong with being confident, you are drip feeding poison. Stop now please.

@latticechaos exactly this, it's all done for attention, every party the child goes too its like it's their party and not the actual birthday girls, it's ridiculous and yes of course it's annoying when the same child is the centre of everything and actually they are upsetting children half the time because they are so me me me, same as the mum. Normally you make people feel comfortable around you but she just likes to make people feel small and boo it's not my own insecurities of how I feel its not just me that thinks it

Jealousy and bitching about others looks really ugly from other people's pov. You will never be happy and content if you carry on being obsessed to put her down.

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe and @blarrr you get it, I can't really explain any further because I'm just such poison and jealous etc I'm saying her children are turning out to actually be quite nasty and it's being picked up on by other children's mums who are getting upset by it, the mum has to be ott, she does do it on purpose whether people on mumsnet believe it or not and it is annoying, maybe that's not really a place for answers on mumsnet that it's grating but it is all about being the best, not really sure why people can't see that there are people like this how dare there be

Whether it's confidence or insecurity you've described her as smiley and talking to everyone. So she is trying to be friendly to all. She sounds quite nice.

Green isn't a great colour on you op

Yes OK I am jealous, I really want my children to be the centre of everything and for them to get nasty when other friends play with eachother I really want them to have to compete all the time and have to be the best and I also wish I would speak up so that everyone can hear my voice because one on one conversations just don't do it for me I really want mine and my children's presence to be known and felt publicly. Stop trying to go on the opposite side, you've clearly not came across this before. If day 4 othe rmums who I'm not particularly close to have said it first to me without me mentioning it then how am I wrong. No point in discussing this further, I'm happy and so are my children they don't get jealous ove friendships. If I worded it there's a girl that's being mean to my children and her mum also loves herself would that have been better, I'm sure you'd have all been like eugh I hate people like that. They attention seek and I'm so sorry that you are so shocked by this but actually it's boring seeing the same people have to perform at every occasion be it school gate or party for the affect of others.

Hmm.

I think it must be exhausting being centre of attention. She cant let it slip even for a day! If I want to slope in and slope out of the school I can, I have no-one to impress or image to keep up. She sounds like she does.

Just leave her to it. It takes all sorts

this woman and her children get your back up waaay more than they should. just ignore and focus on your own family.

This thread makes me happy to back to work after maternity leave. I'll not have to deal with the school gate nonsense anyway!
For some reason, mums who would be perfectly normal if only you met them anywhere else!! For some reason meeting through school pick ups etc seems to transform people in a bit nice version of themselves!

I’m glad there are mums that put the effort into the pta so I don’t have to and I’m glad I stared working full time when DS1 was in yr 5 so my childminder does all the pickups! Either this woman is just outgoing and confident and this annoys people who are a bit jealous and bitch about her or she’s obnoxious and annoying and people bitch about her but either way it’s not something I could get worked up about.

@Cherrybalm I agree they do! I wish I wouldnt let it annoy me but maybe its because I'm so jealous according to this site, I think it's just abit draining having to be extra and loud all the time purely for attention and to be found so funny etc it's like the class clown you just think ok sit down now its not that funny

I get what you're saying, I have a friend who is exactly the same. I just take everything he says with a pinch of salt, roll my eyes (to myself not in his view lol) and not spend too much time with him at once!

A lot of Mums are like this. They are essentially bullies. In the quest to make their child the most popular they are actually being quite mean. There is a Mum I know who absolutely had to have friends over every night for her child, and had to invite them first thing in the morning so as they all walked to school together. Then the photos would go up online of them all posing at her house. And that's how it starts. Any child not in the favoured group gets bullied and feels left out etc. The favoured child becomes like the girls in mean girls in that kids are petrified of not being their friend and when they are in the group they become bullies. The best tactic you could have is to get your child involved in activities out of school so they get friends elsewhere and can see how bad they are all behaving. It stems from the mum, absolutely.

@Orchidsindoors massive thankyou you completely get my point, this is how bullying starts! You can see it already, it's exactly the same they have to have all the friends over all the time it's like they constantly have to be involved which is great but it's all pushed from the mum. It is literally down to one girl having long hair and this mums daughter having to jump in but mines longer!! You completely get my point!

One of my pet peeves is when parents pass on smiling and confidence to their kids!! I wish people would only pass on frowns and shyness.

Op- here’s a grip.

@Wakemeupwhenthisisover

One of my pet peeves is when parents pass on smiling and confidence to their kids!! I wish people would only pass on frowns and shyness.

Op- here’s a grip.

Hahaha, yes, I suspect I will have passed on this face perhaps a little too much!