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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being petty or was DP's mum being unkind?

144 replies

bluedonuts · 01/09/2020 01:06

Clased with DP's mum in the past but was all sorted out. We went over last night to see her and as she lives an hour away, we stayed the night. I was very tired as had had two hours sleep as was up with DS (5 months). She asked me what was wrong and I just said I'm just a bit tired as DS was up. She then gave me a lecture on how she lived on no sleep with her children and how I should get used to it, and went off about how she even worked nights etc etc.

She's constantly undermining me, DS has a bit of eczema and she bought cream from him from the pharmacy (without asking us if we already had any) and then covers him in it whenever we're there. We had already bought our own cream that we were using. She told me that she had spoken to the pharmacist about it and we needed to use that one. (The one we had already is great). She will literally put it on him whenever I'm not in the room without asking.

It's just things like that all the time.

Last night while we were there I was entertaining DS with some nursery rhymes, and then put him on the floor, holding him under the arms standing up for about a second. She literally snatched him off me and said 'I don't need him walking yet'. I was so taken aback, I'm not overexaggerating when i say she snatched him, it was as if she thought he was in danger!

Then this morning when I woke up and came downstairs, I said good morning (admittedly I was still sleepy - up with DS) and she said in front of everyone: 'God, you're like a grumpy teenager in the mornings aren't you!' and then went on to make these really loud, weird grunting noises imitating me, over and over again until the point I wanted the ground to swallow me up as I felt really embarrassed.

I am feeling quite emotional at the moment as suffering with PND quite badly so I might be a bit sensitive. But is this quite unkind behaviour or am I just being petty?

OP posts:
3scape · 05/09/2021 15:15

I don't understand why you'd bother visiting her again. Pack up, go home and ignore her for good. This obligation to families notion is definitely keeping these tossers from changing their behaviour to being civil and appropriate. Draw a line.

RiversideAnne · 05/09/2021 15:25

She sounds absolutely foul. I wouldn’t be staying with her again in a hurry…

Subbaxeo · 05/09/2021 15:26

It’s not you. Horrible to put up with any time let alone when you’re feeling vulnerable. Why are people like this? Your dp needs to speak to her about the nasty behaviour.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 05/09/2021 15:28

Id never be going back, if she wants to see your child then your DP can take him there on his own.

Rosesandblossoms · 05/09/2021 15:38

Another one saying don’t go back. Let DP take your DS.

You don’t need to be treated like that.

Plumtree391 · 05/09/2021 16:01

Don't go and see her so often, get your partner to have a word in her ear. She's forgotten how she felt when she had a small baby.

BlackIsQueen · 05/09/2021 16:02

Go home and don't go back. You need a quick, sharp boundary and your fella needs to decide whose team he is on.

Greystray · 05/09/2021 16:21

Well, she dislikes you. That much is obvious. And it's her prerogative.

It also means she'll miss out on seeing her DGS as much as she would like because you're hardly going to go out of your way to see someone who is vile to you. It's time to keep a distance from her. I would not allow the same amount of visits but without you, because that's probably what she's hoping for...

MrsSugar · 05/09/2021 16:28

She’s being rude. Totally unacceptable behaviour. Neither my mother in law or my mother would ever behave like that. I’d tell ur husband to have a word with her and make it clear if she continues to behave like that she’s not welcome in ur home and that you will still telling her to piss off !

Bollindger · 05/09/2021 16:37

Next time she starts and your alone, tell her that pointing upstairs is your son, this is my son, IF you carry on like this your going to see less and less of us.
Or you might break me and your son up, in which case I believe it's every other xmas.

BlackIsQueen · 05/09/2021 16:43

Halt. ZOMBIIIE

Runkle · 05/09/2021 16:52

Just proves that people never read fully/check before posting.

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Beautiful3 · 05/09/2021 16:59

Perhaps don't go back again. Let your husband take the baby to visit from now on.

InFiveMins · 05/09/2021 17:16

Just stop visiting her. Your husband can take your baby to visit her when he goes. There is absolutely no reason for you to be going when she is treating you so badly.

GoingOutOutNEVER · 05/09/2021 17:29

You need to nip her in the bud. Don’t stand for her jibes anymore. Next thing that happens take a big deep breath and tell her you don’t appreciate being spoken to in such a manner. We are all different and we must all get on.

If that fails tell her to fuck off and walk out with your baby and leave

Yesitsbess · 05/09/2021 17:44

And while we're at it you should definitely not pay the carpet fitter.

takehomepay · 05/09/2021 20:34

@Runkle

Just proves that people never read fully/check before posting.

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It’s not unreasonable not to check the date of every post Hmm People have RTFT, but made the reasonable expectation that a thread on the first page is not a zombie.
Thatsplentyjack · 05/09/2021 21:37

@Runkle

Just proves that people never read fully/check before posting.

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Didn't realise it was a site rule. Quick ban everyone who didn't check the date! 🤣
Marcee · 05/09/2021 22:09

I did check the date but didnt check the year.

So thought it was from a couple of days agoBlush

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