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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister not wanting to self isolate

113 replies

1234Julia · 31/08/2020 23:07

My sister has just returned from a two month holiday in Bulgaria (her husband is Bulgarian) but is refusing to self isolate for 14d. Bulgaria is on the list of countries that you need to self isolate. I’m so angry at the moment at her selfish attitude. She says she need to pop out for food... my argument is she can buy it online and get it delivered the same day/ she should have thought about this before going on her holiday ! She could have put a few pizzas, bread and milk in the freezer. Anyway I’m not on talking terms right now and she’s telling me I’m over reacting and insecure for feeling like this !
Surely I’m not !

OP posts:
InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 01/09/2020 18:05

@1234Julia

Yes I did because she said she couldn’t get a slot ... I knew that was just an excuse so I checked to see if she actually had tried ...which she hadn’t . Not calming down...
Yes, that's you 'so concerned'. With relatives like you, who needs enemies? JFC, I never had any idea people were so invested in other peoples' lives. I just had a meddlesome, negative and unsupportive person who could have been of great help in a pricey transaction, but he chose not to be. Fair enough. I had no interest in his fucking story, I don't care, so just said, 'I see. That's fine. We shall proceed with Plan B' and that was that, got it done another way. Then he rang me back a few days later to witter on. 'I know you've been thinking of this a lot.' No, I'm thinking about getting stuff done and allocating free time to training for a fitness goal I have next month. But he still wanted to bang on and for me to listen to him. WTAF? Get a life! No one cares! Fuck off and look after your own business.
Venicelover · 01/09/2020 18:06

[quote Northernsoullover]@Venicelover that Tui flight landed at 11.40pm on Tuesday night. People from that flight were testing over the course of that week. The first test results would have been through on the Thursday/Friday. As soon as another group was identified from that flight it would have been apparent there was a problem and the isolation advice came on the Sunday. No one gets tested by border force as they step off the plane![/quote]
I think testing should be mandatory at airport arrivals.

Northernsoullover · 01/09/2020 18:44

But venice it serves no purpose. If I'm sat next to a covid positive person on a 3.5 hour flight and get tested at the airport I'll be negative at the airport (assuming I wasn't positive already). So I'd get my negative results and carry on regardless. Only to develop it 5 days later...

Original poster
1234Julia · 01/09/2020 23:07

Huh, what? Never mind

OP posts:
Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 01/09/2020 23:13

Of course she doesn’t want to self isolate - no one wants to! People have to to protect others, and it’s really shitty that she and others won’t do it.

I think this is something that needs to be policed a lot more fiercely. Otherwise everyone is going to think it’s a joke!- as they already do I guess.

Original poster
1234Julia · 01/09/2020 23:14

Ok so you can predict the future?

OP posts:
Original poster
1234Julia · 01/09/2020 23:21

Yes, tell that to the family of people who have lost their lives catching the virus.

OP posts:
Original poster
1234Julia · 01/09/2020 23:31

She’s Better off without me? Err ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
1234Julia · 01/09/2020 23:38

The second wave is predicted for winter. No it never went away and probably won’t but if people keep acting like it’s all over then second wave likely to hit. I take it you’re one of those people who don’t really care anyway cos you can’t get it

OP posts:
Pobblebonk · 02/09/2020 00:20

OP, there's not much point posting a string of responses to other people's comments without identifying what you're commenting on or responding to. Posting "Tell that to the family ...." is meaningless unless you say what it is you suggest should get told.

clairedelalune · 02/09/2020 00:48

I agree that she should have had food in; I think we all should have enough store cupboard ingredients /long life milk to last a few days in the event we get symptons/local lockdown happens, while we sort out deliveries/getting friends to help

MadameBlobby · 02/09/2020 00:52

YANBU, she could ask a pal to pop out for essentials and leave it on her doorstep and get a full food shop for the next day! It’s not like back in March

Topseyt · 02/09/2020 02:41

OP, please either say who you are addressing your comments too or use the quote facility to make it clear.

Otherwise, you are just reeling random comments into the ether and they make little sense on their own.

katscamel · 02/09/2020 06:15

I returned from a 'non safe' country 10 days ago... a country that has far fewer cases than the UK and where for the last 6 months we have had stricter lock down and then curfews.
I haven't quarantined... day 1... taxi to a hotel, as arrived too late to go anywhere... day 2.. 2x coaches to get to a hotel where I'd be staying for next couple of days as nowhere to quarantine... day 2 and 3 also included taking phone to repair shop and getting a new one when it couldn't be fixed and food shopping... a total of an hour..mask wearing, distance keeping. Days 4-10, at a friends while she is away.... non-quaranting = food shopping, taking laptop to repair shop and going out for fresh air etc at times when other people generally aren't.
When I've seen people out and about I do feel I'm at more risk catching anything from them rather than passing anything on. I'm masked up and keep my distance. I'm not out for excessive periods of time, just do what I have to do and return to where I'm staying. Complete quarantine is pretty much impossible unless you have a support network able to deliver, you drive from airport yourself, have own garden etc. It doesn't mean however that it's ok to go off on holiday and ignore guidelines completely...that's irresponsible but by being sensible there isnt (in my opinion) any more risk then heading into your every day busy town centre.

Corono · 02/09/2020 06:33

Crikey! You're actually checking up on deliveries to privet her wrong..... over invested!

So if you feel SO strongly why aren't you reporting her? Is it worry that she'll infect people or is it you want to have the moral high ground?

I know which I think it is.

Corono · 02/09/2020 06:51

*prove

Tomatoesneedtoripen · 02/09/2020 07:01

who should op report to?

and her own sister?
i dont think so.
i am sure she knows your opinion op and will self isolate.
let her be.

DipSwimSwoosh · 02/09/2020 07:10

She is an adult. It sounds like she is applying logic and risk assessing. I wouldn't be worried x

nosswith · 02/09/2020 07:11

If you live nearby offer to drop off food at her door. If not or the offer is refused, report her.

The exemption of going out for food is only if you have no alternative, and given food deliveries from a number of companies, I can only see it being on the day you return, calling in on your way home. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere where deliveries are not available.

The no alternative means no family or friends who can help.

Original poster
1234Julia · 02/09/2020 09:12

@Topseyt
This is my first post on mumsnet so still trying to understand how to navigate around it. I thought by clicking reply you answer directly to the person like you do
on Facebook

OP posts:
Original poster
1234Julia · 02/09/2020 09:16

@Corono
As I mentioned in a previous post I wanted to let her know she could get a delivery that day cos she said she couldn’t.
No need for the nasty judgmental comments .... jeez

OP posts:
Corono · 02/09/2020 09:38

@1234Julia As I mentioned in a previous post I wanted to let her know she could get a delivery that day cos she said she couldn’t.
No need for the nasty judgmental comments .... jeez

I find that very hard to believe, did she ask for you help? Did she say "I can't get a delivery, I'm not sure how we're going to manage?" Or did you just decide your "help" was needed?

I think you're the judgemental one!

ilovesooty · 02/09/2020 10:00

@katscamel

I returned from a 'non safe' country 10 days ago... a country that has far fewer cases than the UK and where for the last 6 months we have had stricter lock down and then curfews. I haven't quarantined... day 1... taxi to a hotel, as arrived too late to go anywhere... day 2.. 2x coaches to get to a hotel where I'd be staying for next couple of days as nowhere to quarantine... day 2 and 3 also included taking phone to repair shop and getting a new one when it couldn't be fixed and food shopping... a total of an hour..mask wearing, distance keeping. Days 4-10, at a friends while she is away.... non-quaranting = food shopping, taking laptop to repair shop and going out for fresh air etc at times when other people generally aren't. When I've seen people out and about I do feel I'm at more risk catching anything from them rather than passing anything on. I'm masked up and keep my distance. I'm not out for excessive periods of time, just do what I have to do and return to where I'm staying. Complete quarantine is pretty much impossible unless you have a support network able to deliver, you drive from airport yourself, have own garden etc. It doesn't mean however that it's ok to go off on holiday and ignore guidelines completely...that's irresponsible but by being sensible there isnt (in my opinion) any more risk then heading into your every day busy town centre.
You mean you think it's perfectly OK to ignore the requirement to quarantine?
Original poster
1234Julia · 02/09/2020 10:02

@Corono
Right, cos you were there when I had that conversation with my sister? Anyway says a lot about you as a person though....ugh

OP posts:
oceanbreezy · 02/09/2020 10:08

She should be quarantining! I can’t believe others think it’s ok for her not to. Think of all the people she has been in contact with through the airport and on holiday. We still don’t know very much about the virus. Most masks are not 100 % preventative.

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