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Original poster

Wwyd: colleague lied about me

121 replies

Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 15:50

Hi all!

Really don’t know what to do about this situation and need some advice .

I have Just left a group meeting Where a colleague told an outright lie about me in front of other members of staff and our Two Bosses.

It is regarding an incident that happened last friday and affects an individual i am responsible for-student . I wasn’t told a key piece of information about said individual.
The first i heard of it was my boss calling to Ask what happened as they had heard about the incident from another member of staff . My boss was worried and all i could say was i havent been informed i dont have any details yet.

No one had approached me during /after the incident to let me know what happened.

I feel completely betrayed .

OP posts:
Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 17:24

I don’t know what to do that’s Why i thought i’d Ask here.

I was shocked to be honest . I’d already emailed With my boss about the incident before i went home on friday. She said We would discuss it today But not to worry about it .

I just feel like i don’t trust my co workers .
They are passive aggressive and won’t come to me With issues/concerns etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 17:25

Gisafag: i did ...i just felt i was ignored.

OP posts:
Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 17:29

In the meeting i told the colleague :

No, You didn’t inform me because i had to come and Ask other members of staff for info.

The member of staff who In fact told me what happened was sat in the meeting too- said nothing.

I said : no one came to me and approach me and informed me of what happened.

Everyone just went quiet . Confused

OP posts:
Yoloyohol · 31/08/2020 17:30

I think Everysinglebloodytime is on the money. Useful exercise for yourself, and highly useful if this situation has legs. BTW if you sometimes do have difficulty communicating effectively (I know I do!) then this sort of exercise is a useful elf training tool.

Your boss will have come across such shitty polotics before, it's unlikely to be her first rodeo. Your colleague has shown you who she is, be polite about it, but absolutely believe her.

Poorpigletsrevenge · 31/08/2020 17:30

OP, I think your post and clarification have been perfectly clear. My only confusion was the number of posters being confused by it Confused

Why do you think your colleague lied about telling you? Are they after your job or have you fallen out previously?

Elieza · 31/08/2020 17:32

So colleagues thought you were at a lesson but it was cancelled and you were unexpectedly present and available in a room somewhere. (Did anyone know this and should you have been with the student instead now you’re unexpectedly free?)

Colleagues had meanwhile been with your student in your absence as planned.

They went to the boss when an issue arose as you werent there.

Did they know it was cancelled? Perhaps one if them said check that room as the lesson was cancelled, and then found you to you to tell you your student had a problem.

Your boss then asked you what happened and you said I dunno I wasn’t there. And the colleague pipes up ‘You do know I told you’. (The so called lie)

That was your chance to say ‘yeah you just came to tell me two minutes ago but I wasn’t there when it happened so I’m going to find out right now what went in and deal with the situation, excuse me’.

All very confusing.

Did you do what you should have done?

Did they do what they should have done by going to the boss if they had reason to think you were busy in a lesson and couldn’t be contacted?

Could there be a breakdown in communication? Which quite honestly wouldn’t surprise me.

LIZS · 31/08/2020 17:43

Was it a safeguarding issue? Were you due to see student on Friday but did not?

LadyLairdArgyll · 31/08/2020 17:44

An incident With my student happened on Friday that i was not made aware of until my boss called To Ask me about it

I assume your Boss called about it today (Monday) ?

I went to Ask other members of staff about what happened and they then clarified

So today (Monday) you asked about what occurred on Friday?

However at the time i was not busy so i don’t understand Why they called my boss instead of coming to me first.

of course and understandable why you are confused Confused

My colleague then said ” yes i came and told You about it”

so in front of your Boss today (Monday) she claims to have told you on Friday ? right?

So she DID lie, and lied to you and your Boss.

I'd also be furious and I wouldn't let this drop until you established exactly why she lied.

iklboo · 31/08/2020 17:45

Is this some sort of comprehension test ?

More of a RTFT test Grin

Histrionicz · 31/08/2020 17:48

Um, are you a teacher?

RedHelenB · 31/08/2020 18:04

Have you spoken to your student about the incident yet?

Cheswick · 31/08/2020 18:11

OP have you talk to the student on Fri? Or on Mon?

itsgettingweird · 31/08/2020 18:11

Email your boss to clarify.

Start with you want to get to the bottom of the situation and obviously your priority is to support the student.

State when incident occurred you were in x room doing y and the first you know about it was when boss called.

You then sent and spoke to x colleges who informed you .....

(Then state what you did next. I'd assume seek student to support?)

State you think there was confusion in meeting. You didn't mean you didn't know about incident but you hadn't known at time as weren't informed.

I would here apologise if you made yourself unclear and Accor you were defensive and state it's because you don't feel your colleague informing boss and not you in first instance was team playing.

It's a bit of a shit sandwich. Makes clear the incident. Allows for fact you may have misunderstood what was meant in meeting and also shows that as soon as you were aware you dealt with it.

AlwaysCheddar · 31/08/2020 18:16

Is this how you always come across to people?

CustardySergeant · 31/08/2020 18:17

Just when I thought I understood the time line you said this:-

"I thought i had defended myself to her pretty Well on friday ."

But I thought you didn't know about it on Friday. I thought you found out about it today, so what were you defending yourself to your boss about on Friday?

Florencex · 31/08/2020 18:27

@CustardySergeant

Just when I thought I understood the time line you said this:-

"I thought i had defended myself to her pretty Well on friday ."

But I thought you didn't know about it on Friday. I thought you found out about it today, so what were you defending yourself to your boss about on Friday?

OP has always said she knew about it on Friday. That is why I am so baffled as to what the lie was when somebody, today, said OP knew about it. She did. 🤔
Lougle · 31/08/2020 18:42

I think that all that matters is that you've followed it up. So, I presume you talked to the student in question as soon as you found out/on Monday? Because although someone 'dealt with it', it was your responsibility. If so, your response could be:

'Unfortunately, I wasn't aware of the incident until after it was dealt with, but I have followed up with and they feel suitably reassured. They know they can come to me directly with any issues in future.'

Because ultimately, this is about your poor student, not you.

ktp100 · 31/08/2020 18:47

Your colleague is a prize shit.

You need to put in a formal complaint to show your boss that you are genuine about calling her a liar.

dontdisturbmenow · 31/08/2020 18:56

Does this lie really matter in light of what happened?

There was an incident, it is right that it should have been reported to the boss and subsequently investigated.

Or is the issue just made worse because there is an expectation that you should have reported it to your boss when you found out and therefore it implies that you tried to cover it up?

iklboo · 31/08/2020 19:02

OP has always said she knew about it on Friday. That is why I am so baffled as to what the lie was when somebody, today, said OP knew about it. She did.

The lie is that the colleague found the OP on Friday and told her about it BEFORE contacting the boss. She didn't.

jessycake · 31/08/2020 19:20

They have broken protocol by going straight to the Boss without telling you and they are covering their arse . Its going to make the term difficult with that lack of trust .

QuestionMarkNow · 31/08/2020 19:38

You need to contact your boss and request a private word. It sounds like that other person is trying to make you look bad somehow and you need to redress that.
You also need to make it sure your boss knows you are in the case and wants to ensure things are done according to procedures (eg you been told before the boss) as well as being sure you now have everything under control and the issue has been solved (student happy and procedure reviewed so it doesn’t happen again).

Oh and keep a paper trail too.

QuestionMarkNow · 31/08/2020 19:40

@Delilahfunke

In the meeting i told the colleague :

No, You didn’t inform me because i had to come and Ask other members of staff for info.

The member of staff who In fact told me what happened was sat in the meeting too- said nothing.

I said : no one came to me and approach me and informed me of what happened.

Everyone just went quiet . Confused

The problem here could well be that they ALL realised thye should have contacted you and hadn’t. So no one dare putting their head above the parapet and said ‘sorry. I’ve messed up there’
LadyLairdArgyll · 31/08/2020 19:56

did OP make her Boss aware she was not informed on Friday as her 'lying' colleague claimed ?

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 31/08/2020 21:39

@dontdisturbmenow

Does this lie really matter in light of what happened?

There was an incident, it is right that it should have been reported to the boss and subsequently investigated.

Or is the issue just made worse because there is an expectation that you should have reported it to your boss when you found out and therefore it implies that you tried to cover it up?

The lie is an issue because at the moment it looks like OP lied, and if they claim she was informed on time didn't take whatever actions protocols requested/didn't deal with the incident herself. Which puts her in a very shitty position.
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