Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wwyd: colleague lied about me

121 replies

Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 15:50

Hi all!

Really don’t know what to do about this situation and need some advice .

I have Just left a group meeting Where a colleague told an outright lie about me in front of other members of staff and our Two Bosses.

It is regarding an incident that happened last friday and affects an individual i am responsible for-student . I wasn’t told a key piece of information about said individual.
The first i heard of it was my boss calling to Ask what happened as they had heard about the incident from another member of staff . My boss was worried and all i could say was i havent been informed i dont have any details yet.

No one had approached me during /after the incident to let me know what happened.

I feel completely betrayed .

OP posts:
SilverOtter · 31/08/2020 16:33

Does that other colleague dislike you?

It sounds like she/he was deliberately trying to drop you in it, rather than just saving their own skin (which is what I initially assumed)Confused.

Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 16:34

Saying that i had been informed about the incident when i hadn’t , and the going over my head to my boss before i knew all the details.

OP posts:
steff13 · 31/08/2020 16:34

So if you're responsible for the student, is the problem that you should have been with the student when the incident happen/prevented it from happening?

DrManhattan · 31/08/2020 16:35

Why would your colleague do that? Is there any past history?

ChicCroissant · 31/08/2020 16:35

What Pobble said basically, it would have been better to say 'once I was aware of the incident/situation I took the following steps', because management are looking for you to deal with the problem not argue about when you heard about it. Presumably you did speak to the colleague on the Friday after you spoke to your boss when he called you?

TruffleShuffles · 31/08/2020 16:36

If something serious happened to someone you are responsible for why didn’t you get the full story of what happened after your boss spoke to you on Friday and asked what happened? Then if you knew all the facts it wouldn’t have made a difference what was said as you would have been able to answer your bosses questions.

DoesThisMakeSence · 31/08/2020 16:37

Do you have a record of the call/ email of when you where actually informed of the incident or was it i person the staff member supposedly told you?
Its shit they have threw you under the bus.

Estrellente · 31/08/2020 16:38

I’ve read this twice and I’ve still no clue.

Can you start again and type a bit more slowly and read it back before you post? And maybe put things in order with days etc?

Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 16:38

No steff - i had a lesson cancelled so i was in a Room Just a couple of doors away alone planning.

The incident was to do With the student not being properly prepared for something new and getting upset/distraught - nothing to so With me . A big deal for our students though.

My issue is How can i take responsibility when i’m not being informed of key incidents or getting information when it’s regarding my student?

OP posts:
CarterBeatsTheDevil · 31/08/2020 16:39

OP, I think if you want people's input you're going to have to try to be a bit clearer.

It sounds to me as if you are saying that you knew nothing about this until your boss rang you asking about it, meaning that other people had gone to speak to your boss instead of you even though you were available that day and have responsibility for this student.

You then went round to other members of staff asking if they knew about something happening to your student, because of your boss having phoned you (not because this colleague had come to speak to you).

You have just had a meeting with your boss and colleagues today. In that meeting you said you hadn't known anything about an incident with this student. One of your colleagues claimed that they had come and spoken to you about it. This wasn't true because the only person who had spoken to you about the incident was your boss. The point you were making in the meeting to the colleague was that if they had come to speak to you about the incident before the boss rang you, you wouldn't have had to go round asking other members of staff what had happened after your boss spoke to you. Is that right?

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 31/08/2020 16:40

Sorry, cross-posted with a load of other people!

Yoloyohol · 31/08/2020 16:43

Without going into identifying detail, is there any relevance here in 'my student' that you're responsible for?
IE you're legally responsible and should have known, or is it a situation where staff more senior than you are ultimately responsible and the crap rests with them and it's a political situation were someone's cut you out then lied that they didn't, but actually the issue of knowing or being cut out might not be that big to your boss?

ie I can see this changing a lot across it being your:
school student
university student
student nurse etc
work experience student
student intern

neonjumper · 31/08/2020 16:43

Why didn't you just say to your boss, the first I heard about it was when you called me, after you made me aware I went and talked to staff about what had happened. When the incident happened I was planning in said room and nobody informed what was happening .

Simple !

Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 16:44

I don’t Even know which colleague told my boss , i’m just assuming it’s the same one who said that On friday , shortly after the incident , she came in to me and informed me.

That never happened.

When my boss called i didn’t have a clue what she meant. So i went to the staffroom and asked what happened.

Then i was told.

OP posts:
Florencex · 31/08/2020 16:44

The only lie I can think of is the one you said in the meeting today when you said you didn’t know about the incident.

But you did know about the incident, because you were told on Friday and it is now Monday.

That you weren’t told first is irrelevant, your colleague didn’t say you were told first in the meeting today, they said you had been told. They did not lie.

You are making no sense whatsoever.

ChicCroissant · 31/08/2020 16:45

Does it matter that your boss heard first? What did you do about it after you'd heard - that's what they are interested in. I don't see how your boss hearing about it before you stops you taking responsibility for the student.

You were not there at the exact time it happened. You did know about it on Friday. Was it your job to prepare the student for anything new?

Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 16:45

Yes carter - totally right!

OP posts:
neonjumper · 31/08/2020 16:46

Is the issue that they are giving the impression that they came to you and told you of the incident but in fact you had to seek them out ?

Gazelda · 31/08/2020 16:47

As I see it, this is the order in which things happened.

Friday
Student got upset about something. OP was not present.

Colleague told boss.

Boss called OP for clarification.

OP found colleague to ask details.

Today
Meeting with colleagues and bosses. Boss asked about incident.

OP said she had been unable to support student as she was unaware of the incident.

Colleague said "I came to find you to tell you". this is the lie

Bosses now confused whether OP knew about incident and at what point. I presume they want to know why student wasn't supported by OP at the time (but OP was unaware of the incident at that time).

OP, I think you should clarify to bosses that the first you heard of the incident was when boss called you. Outline what actions you have taken to support the student since then and reiterate that you had been a few tons away when the incident happened and with have happily been in hand to resolve the issue if you'd been made aware.

Don't trust this colleague again.

Yoloyohol · 31/08/2020 16:47

Sorry I've cross posted, and it's now clear enough what kind of student.

neonjumper · 31/08/2020 16:47

Are there repercussions for them with them not coming directly to you ?

Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 16:48

Neon - i did say that! Apparently not good enough.

Chic - No it wasn’t, someone else did.

Florence - i said i didnt know about the incident during the phonecall With my boss on friday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 16:49

Spot on Gazelda.

OP posts:
Original poster
Delilahfunke · 31/08/2020 16:50

Yes neon

I feel that i am being left out and not being informed .

OP posts:
Yoloyohol · 31/08/2020 16:51

It sounds like your lying colleague has it in for you, but have you considered that it's the student they're trying to undermine and your the one who might prevent that?

Swipe left for the next trending thread