Worked my day off for colleague who's had a party

[Gotthetshirt23]

So, shift workers and key workers .
A few months ago my colleague asked if anyone could/would cover their shift as husband was going on a "hobby" weekend and parents couldn't visit to look after child due to covid.

I offered , breaking up my long weekend to work the Sunday . I am working Monday but we work 2 weekends and then have one long weekend off .

I checked earlier this month, as to if I was still needed as covid restrictions have changed and family have been together, to find out "parents had plans"
Which obviously was not covid restriction related.

Their social media today is a load of photos of the big birthday celebration, clearly with relatives in the photos , cake , the works .

It's not the child's birthday today , in fact it's several days away.

AIBU ?

If you didn't want to work it, you shouldn't have offered.

I can't believe you volunteered to cover her shift so her husband could do his hobby! And then you think a party is a frivolous user of the time off. I don't understand your reasoning.

She COULD NOT DO HER SHIFT, because no husband, no parents.

Yeah, it was physically impossible for her to work because of the unstoppable force of nature that is her husband's golfing weekend or whatever. The OP had to cover the shift to advert disaster. (Disaster = a husband missing his hobby, obv.)

In general I think you’d be unreasonable to try to dictate what your colleague can do on the day you agree to cover for her. But since you made it clear you were doing this only because you thought she was in a childcare bind, YANBU to be annoyed at her. She lied to you in order to get you to do something that you wouldn’t have offered to do if you’d known the truth. That’s bad behaviour on her part, but there’s not a lot you can do about it, now. I would probably mention this incident every time she asked at work about swapping shifts and offered some “deserving” reason for her need. But I can be a bit petty.

Hmm I see why you are annoyed, but yes YABU. Maybe the plans changed. The thread title makes it sound like you gave up a day off, but you didn't, you just had it on another day. OK, it broke up the weekend but it was your choice to swap.

I also work shifts and I've regretted agreeing to swaps many times. Now I only say yes if it suits me. If it doesn't suit, I don't swap, even my the reason is "I just want that day off". Even if their request is for a medical appointment or funeral or something. They can always take it up with the boss directly or worst case, call in sick.

YANBU. She lied to you. I wouldnt do any favours for her again..

I doubt she planned the party months ago when she asked you. Get a grip what does the reason matter.

I have worked with similar type shifts working in 24hour blocks. I would have covered for a colleague if they had childcare issues,even if I really didn't want to or if it was inconvenient as we are a team and I'd hope they would do the same for me some day. If it was for something they could work around like when to throw a party I still might but if it interfered with my own plans with family or I knew it would leave me exhausted or over stretched that week I might say no. I'd be pissed off if someone lied to me. You asked if plans changed and she lied. I think its disrespectful to your time and energy. Shifts are set up in a way to allow for proper time off (pre covid anyway) when you start swapping around you find yourself constantly in work without a decent break in between. I'm always upfront about why I'm looking for a swap as I know I'm asking a lot from my colleagues.

They lied to get you to cover. Next time just don't offer and let them get on with it.

I'd be pisssed off actually for being lied to. I'd probably say nothing as I'd expect a favour back from her but I wouldn't forget

I don't understand what people are missing the woman used childcare to guilt/pressure her into covering which was not the case.

If she would of said can anyone give up there bank holiday break so i can have a party doubt op would of offered.

poster double checked a few weeks ago and she blatantly lied to her saying she still needed child care

I would say something like "so I gave up my BH weekend so you could have a party"

YANBU.
You agreed because you thought she was desperate.

Odd.

Personally I would rather do someone a favour to facilitate a special birthday than enable a DH to have a bloody hobby weekend.

So why wasn’t she honest from the outset?

It's not like it was a piss up! A kids party ffs which I would like to think you would also have swapped for?

But it wasn’t the actual birthday, so she could have had the party on the following weekend, without spoiling the OPs weekend.

She asked for a shift swop and you agreed. End of story.
I am not interested in what my colleagues are doing in their time. I just hope they can do a swop when I need one.

The notice was fair, the lie not. They dropped themselves in it for posting on social media.

Two things- don't agree to help in future and if you do this, make it clear that the lie is why. The other one is dependant on how large the gathering was and if it included people outside of their family, make a fuss and insist they have a Covid 19 test.

Some typically arsehole responses on here. Of course if you agreed to mess up your Bank Holiday weekend to help out in a childcare crisis when in fact there was no crisis you are entitled to be pissed off. You're also entitled to be pissed off that your colleague lied about it. I assume you won't be doing her any similar favours in future?

She asked for a shift swop and you agreed. End of story.

I don't see anything about a swap?

I'd be making sure I get the next bank holiday weekend since you covered and that she doesn't. Otherwise the shift rota might not work in your favour and you'll end up doing another one.

At the time though I would have been passing why her husband can't just stop his hobby to look after his own children.

Ask her next time you see her how was the party. See if she looks embarrassed or doesn't give a shit.

Asking not passing.

I understand what you mean OP. You gave up your long weekend thinking your colleague needed childcare, which to you was a good reason to swap. Actually they didn't but said they did simply for a party. I can understand your upset.

Sure be annoyed, but quite frankly you're being a bit of a tit.
You agreed to take her shift weeks ago, so much has happened in the last few weeks. Plans have changed. If you didn't want to work the shift, you should have said no. Simple as that.

She asked for a shift swop and you agreed. End of story.

I don't see anything about a swap?
Ok, that's right. The colleague needed a shift cover op agreed. End of story. She wasn't forced.
Hopefully when the OP needs her shift covering for whatever reason the Colleague will pay back.

You said you are working on Monday, so it is not breaking up your long weekend is it? You agreed to take the shift and you will be paid for it. You agreed so that the husband can have a hobby weekend, I don’t see why a child’s birthday party is any less reason than a mans hobby. I don’t think you get to dictate what your colleague does in her free time anyway though.