Disabled Child Window Stickers

[muddymommy]

Ok, might sound nasty but my neigbour has a 12 year old daughter and has just bought and applied a huge sticker/decal to her car that states "Epileptic child on board, may stop suddenly".
I am a little horrified that she would need to advertise this.
Am I unreasonable?
I have a son with medical conditons but would just pull over in an emergency and not wish for the world to know that he has anything going on. Or for the whole street to know when I am parked up.

I remember being told that child/baby on board stickers are actually to alert emergency services if the vehicle's in a crash, for example.

You don't actually need one though. If emergency services see a carseat or child/baby paraphernalia in the car, they'll have a look around the car and the immediate area anyway just in case a child/baby was there and thrown free of their seat.

@Gancanny

Society is still actually really poor when it comes to disability inclusion and equality

I wholeheartedly agree with you there, there is an awful undercurrent in society that equality and inclusion are good and that they must happen provided it doesn't inconvenience non-disabled people. It's basically paying lip service the inclusion without actually being inclusive.

100%

@MaskingForIt

YANBU It seems nowadays that a child with special needs is the must-have accessory for a certain type of parent, and stickers advertising he child’s difficulties seems to be a manifestation of this.

I'm not sure what type of parent of disabled children you are thinking of here, please tell me more. Most parents of disabled children, myself included, do not want special treatment for their children, just normal everyday inclusion.

Unfortunately there's a certain type of person who has no idea of the discrimination and difficulty disabled people and their families face due to ableist ignorance. I imagine the sticker is to warn tailgaters, emergency responders and others who may restrict access to the vehicle. Is that so bad?

I'm not sure what the goal of the sticker is either. If she has to do a sudden stop because her daughter is having a seizure then it really is in everyone's interests for her to pull over safely. Just stopping in the middle lane of a motorway is likely to have catastrophic repercussions for many, many people. I also think her daughter deserves the dignity of not having her medical conditions broadcast so publically. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, I am quite open about my hidden disability but I am an adult and have made that decision. I think being 12 is mortifying enough, let alone having a condition that can lead to 'embarrassing' seizures (my best friend is epileptic and was always so unnecessarily embarrassed after having a seizure in public), I think her mother telling all and sundry about it is unnecessary. She is not going to be in the car alone and her mother cannot just stop wherever she wants to if a seizure does happen in the car. I think that most 12 year olds just want to fit in, and having something like epilepsy can be stigmatising and horrifying enough for a teen without having it broadcast in huge letters on her mother's car.

It's a bit weird that you think this is any of your business

Meh. If her child has uncontrolled epilepsy and seizing daily then yabu

Lots of people do this in case of accident too x

Dp's dd is severely epileptic and thinks this is ridiculous, however violent the seizure, you pull over safely.

This.

I question the purpose of this. I have epilepsy. My husband would never stop suddenly if I were to have a seizure whilst we were out on the car. I’m unlikely to die from a seizure and it’s not worth risking the life of the people in the car behind us. He would pull over yo the side where he can stop safely for us and for other road users.

What are other drivers supposed to do when they see this sticker? Drive with a foot hovering over the brake? Pay more attention to the car in front’s brake lights than all the other things they should be watching on the road? Doing that is more dangerous anyway. Obviously in an ideal world everyone would drive a safe distance apart but if the car behind is too close, pull over and let them pass.

I don't think I would get a badge for the car but I have seen ,tags for car seat belts that I think might be helpful in an accident ,my son has severe autism and learning disabilities,and I have seen ,non verbal autism tags ,not everybody with a disability can communicate their needs .

YANBU It seems nowadays that a child with special needs is the must-have accessory for a certain type of parent, and stickers advertising he child’s difficulties seems to be a manifestation of this That comment is ten times more "horrifying" than the sticker.

OP is there any particular reason you have an unhealthy amount of interest in your neighbours life and what they choose to put on their car? Also if I were you I'd be thanking my lucky stars that I'd had such a charmed life to be able to think of this as "horrifying".

Just because you or other posters children wouldn't want the sticker, doesn't mean your neineighbours haven't discussed it with their child. I'm surprised you haven't had your ear pressed to the wall listening in.

Surely safety comes first. It's good to know that a car in front might suddenly stop or behave erratically. Maybe the sticker could say 'warning, health issues: may emergency brake' rather than specify its the child, but even so I wouldn't be 'horrified'.

Ok, I'll bite. A close relative of mine has severe epilepsy. She requires oxygen as soon as she begins to seize, and regularly requires emergency medication. She is an adult who likes to go out and about.

I've had to pull over, several times when driving with her. On one occasion she started to seize as I was leaving a supermarket car park. I stopped the car where I was, blocking one lane of traffic for perhaps 7 minutes in total. So many cars beeped and people were downright unpleasant. A sticker might have actually helped here.

Lots of people on here talking about how ‘embarrassing’ disabilities shouldn’t be broadcast. Don’t you think there might just be a correlation between people like you complaining that any acknowledgment of a disability is flaunting mortifying personal information, and disabled people feeling embarrassed and stigmatised...?

How on earth does anyone think this sticker suggests the mother would stop in the middle lane of a fucking motorway?
Or drive erratically?
Or feel entitled to drive in some unsafe way?
You do not know how this child’s condition manifests so it may be that she needs immediate attention.
My daughter has had difficulties swallowing and we have had to come off the M25 and stop on the hard shoulder to save her life as she was turning blue, choking on her own saliva.
It was done safely but it had to done RIGHT THEN.
If anyone thinks that’s a must have accessory- travelling with the knowledge that you have to drive somewhere and while driving safely and responsibly for yourself and other road users you need to also think that your child could come to serious harm or die, then there’s something really wrong with the way you think!
It isn’t like the little princess on board stickers in any respect other than it’s a sticker.
Like a medical bracelet the intention is to alert a driver that she may have to stop quickly where you might not anticipate a car stopping- not that she’s going to fucking emergency break at 60 miles an hour.

And why oh why is a medical condition or disability something that should be hidden?

I have stickers on their car seats because one has ASD and the other GDD. However I wouldn't display it publically. Surely the worst thing to do if child is having a seizure is to stop suddenly and dangerously?

There's no excuse for driving dangerously. None.

Any driver may have to stop suddenly and under control. It's part of the driving test.

Every driver should leave sufficient space in front to stop safely if the vehicle in front stops suddenly.

So there is no need for any such sign.

Perhaps the sticker is to stop people commentating "what the fuck is she doing?" and/or "why the hell has she pulled over!?" or other such comments when she has to (safely) stop and pull over.

Perhaps she has anxiety about a seizure happening while she is driving and the sticker, considered useless by many, makes her feel better because she can feel like she has made a plan for if/when it happens.

I think this from @Krazynights34 sums it up:

Like a medical bracelet the intention is to alert a driver that she may have to stop quickly where you might not anticipate a car stopping- not that she’s going to fucking emergency break at 60 miles an hour.

It doesn't matter what anyone here thinks of the sticker, it's not breaking any laws, it's not harming anyone, so mind your own business maybe?

"It’s not about being ashamed, the whole labelling thing. It runs deeper than that. People shouldn’t need to have labels/stickers/lanyards to have equality. It’s actually a really negative concept. It focuses on the deficit/medical/pity model of inclusion."

I absolutely agree with this ^^.

If people would just engage their brains and view other people/situations with a bit of empathy there would be no need for people to even consider lanyards/stickers etc.

I'm with the op on this one. She has a responsibility to drive safely, putting a sticker on her car isnt a get out clause for that. She will need to slow down and pull over safely, not just stop suddenly. If she cant do that, then she needs someone else in the car to see to her daughter, allowing the drive to drive safely and not be distracted. I also think we dont all need to know her daughter has epilepsy.

@Krazynights34

And why oh why is a medical condition or disability something that should be hidden?

If one is comfortable disclosing one’s own disability, then it isn’t.

But that’s not what is happening here. Here, the mother is disclosing her daughter’s medical information to the world. The mother should respect the daughter’s privacy.

This is why I never tell my dad any medical information. He feels the need to broadcast it to the wider family, as some kind of public information service or something.

As a driver, I would find this sticker a useful reminder that I should keep my distances (everyone should, but many don't)

However, to respect her child's privacy, a less identifying sticker would be preferable (just refer to a disabled person on board, who may need urgent care: something less specific)

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Maybe it gives them peace of mind when they are driving that if the do have to pull over someone won’t come and start having a go at them

I really can’t see the issue. You need to be busier if this bothers you so much

If I were her daughter id be telling her to remove that asap . Sounds very attention seeking. But maybe she doesnt have the mental capacity. I guess then it is fine. But imagine being a teenager trying to live a normal life and trying to fit in. And your mum puts your personal stuff smack bam on her window.