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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think going on holiday at the moment is selfish and unnecessary

649 replies

OverTheRainbow88 · 30/08/2020 07:59

I think it’s totally unnecessary and selfish for people to go abroad on holiday at the moment. I’m not talking about people that need to go abroad for other reasons, such as ,work or to see ill relatives etc. I think getting our children back to school trumps a holiday.
However, lots of family and friends are going away abroad for holidays, do others agree with me or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
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MsTSwift · 30/08/2020 14:22

Well our Italian and German holiday was blissful. Clear seas and lakes hot weather delicious food Mediterranean cities. I hate camping and I hate the cold so I am a lost cause to the worthy brigade!

Do not feel guilty in the slightest just thrilled we as a family had such a brilliant summer.

Walkaround · 30/08/2020 14:28

@SantaClaritaDiet - but does it actually matter whether or not you or anyone else believes you “needed” a holiday? Do you think it makes you less “selfish” than people who think they would have survived without a holiday this year, but chose to go away anyway for some other reason?

nicebreeze · 30/08/2020 14:29

@Friendsoftheearth

At least if you are going to take the risk, and put others at risk at least have the courage to OWN it. I really can't stand the endless excuses that somehow YOUR circumstances are so much more important than everyone else's. Your risk was lower. Your chosen country is better.

Most people are probably aghast at the level of self entitlement and selfishness, I think that is fair enough in the middle of a pandemic when your poor decisions can kill people. Then it does become a society problem, and not about your own personal freedoms.

The very nature of the virus means that we all have to live with the consequences, and that is why people feel animated about the subject. You are taking a risk for all of us, including those that have cancer, and are very compromised.

I can't wait to hear about the perfect, COVID-proof lifestyle you're living, presumably doing NOTHING that might increase the risk of infection to yourself if anyone else on the planet?

Please, tell us about how you're still self-isolating? Haven't left the house since lockdown? Or are you doing the things you feel you need to do based on your assessment of risk? Assuming you HAVE left the house since March I suggest you zip it when it comes to passing judgement on others who are clearly happy with their decision they've made, whatever balance they've applied to make it.

nicebreeze · 30/08/2020 14:31

@InDeoEstMeaFiducia Some people would love for this to happen, it would make their xenophobic wet dreams come true. Wait till they see how that plays out with no deal Brexit.

Totally agree - I wonder what the correlation is between holiday-police and Brexit voters/xenophobia in general.

nicebreeze · 30/08/2020 14:33

@DdraigGoch Normally, yes. Packing oneself onto a crush-loaded train to the seaside is not the best idea in the current climate though

I quite agree - the point is, it's never as simple as x leads to y therefore z. There are so many views, agendas and priorities that go into a very personal judgment like whether or not a perfectly legal holiday is appropriate or not that it's stupid to try to pass judgement

MsTSwift · 30/08/2020 14:34

Applauds nicebreeze. What a ridiculous sanctimonious post that was by the other poster.

Don’t have to justify to anyone. We live in low rate area went to another low rate area by car. Why are you worthier because you went to the Lake District or whatever and we went to the Alps? 🙄.

MaxNormal · 30/08/2020 14:35

Interesting that camping in France helps with PTSD, but somewhere else in the UK wouldn't have the same effect. I'll have to be sure to let the patients know.

Campervanning in the UK is utterly shit compared to France/Spain. No aires or water refill points anywhere, only option is expensive campsites that have been completely full anyway this year. Throw in unreliable weather, hostility from locals and general high prices, and far inferior scenery, is it any wonder people are desperate to get abroad for a break?

MsTSwift · 30/08/2020 14:37

Camping in the uk in last weeks storms would put you at risk of PTSD in the first place

VestaTilley · 30/08/2020 14:39

YABU. Mind your own business.

People may be going on a last holiday with a terminally ill relative, or have booked a once in a lifetime trip ages ago, or just be exhausted and need a break. Provided they’re sensible and socially distance or quarantine I can’t see the issue.

Not everyone lives in a nice part of the country or has a relative with a cottage they can borrow in the West Country.

And no, I don’t have any reason to be defensive: we’ve not been abroad this year.

SantaClaritaDiet · 30/08/2020 14:40

[quote Walkaround]@SantaClaritaDiet - but does it actually matter whether or not you or anyone else believes you “needed” a holiday? Do you think it makes you less “selfish” than people who think they would have survived without a holiday this year, but chose to go away anyway for some other reason?[/quote]
I really doesn't matter to me if people think I am selfish or not. Having my own priorities, within the guidelines no less, certainly doesn't make me superior or inferior to anyone.

I went away because I could, and I wanted to. I am glad I did and can't wait to go again!

For people who swear by staycations - which I personally hate - just think it's one less family to crowd your own holiday.. everybody is winning.

It's telling that tourists are not interested by the UK! Ignoring guidelines and not taking protection for the countries we visited would have been selfish, as it stands we were even more cautious than here in the UK.

Mamibaer · 30/08/2020 14:43

It is also unnecessary to have a haircut, visit a pub or cafe or restaurant, go shopping rather than buy online, go to a gym or visit a relative. Is everyone doing all those unnecessary things selfish too? Life goes on OP.

Venicelover · 30/08/2020 14:48

'I can't work up the energy to be bothered about what an internet random thinks about it.'

This exactly.

I have had 3 holidays cancelled at the height of the pandemic and I will certainly be bagging a trip or two abroad as soon as possible.

I will be obeying all rules whilst there and quarantining if required on return.

Why have rules if people can't operate within them without being vilified?

LEELULUMPKIN · 30/08/2020 14:53

@Venicelover Exactly. As I said upthread, it's the new cancel culture, "Holiday Shaming."

Ontopofthesunset · 30/08/2020 14:54

Why is it selfish if the person who has gone on holiday observes all the social distancing rules both there and on their return? It would only be selfish if they went on holiday and then deliberately went around trying to infect people. I went to France and then when I came back I wore a mask in shops, did most of my shopping online, ate out in a couple of socially distanced environments with my immediate family, didn't take public transport and didn't visit my elderly parents for two weeks afterwards. Why is that selfish? How is my risk any greater than it was before? Who am I putting at risk?

DancingCatGif · 30/08/2020 15:01

I agree. I live in Asia, and it is unthinkable that anyone would go abroad right now. I think most countries in the region have a quarantine and not a bullshit UK "please stay at home please" quarantine, an actual one where you are sent to prison if you break it.

Everyone has had a shit year. That doesn't mean you need a holiday. I hate all this excusing it with "but I'm a nurse/mum/anxiety sufferer" as if everyone else hasn't had a bad time. We were due to go to Japan, my husband has depression, I have anxiety, his dad is a doctor so yes we could all use a holiday but we just wouldn't right now.

Venicelover · 30/08/2020 15:08

I think it probably comes down to whether you are a habitual traveller or a SAH type. I am the former and I will continue to travel when I can within all the required guidelines.

SantaClaritaDiet · 30/08/2020 15:09

DancingCatGif
if you chose to stay home, that's absolutely fine. It doesn't make you superior. It might make you more miserable, but that's your problem.

God knows what international travel will look this year and next - I am delighted I am making the most of what I can whilst I can. It's bad for the economy ,but it makes my own holidays more enjoyable when they are quieter and people stay home, so not only am I not judging the scared one, I am grateful Smile

Walkaround · 30/08/2020 15:19

@SantaClaritaDiet - “if you chose to stay home, that's absolutely fine. It doesn't make you superior. It might make you more miserable, but that's your problem.“ Grin

Crawlbee · 30/08/2020 15:20

I think most countries in the region have a quarantine and not a bullshit UK "please stay at home please" quarantine, an actual one where you are sent to prison if you break it.

Thankfully there's still a slither of rationale thinking left here, people going to prison for that is not aspirational it's pretty twisted.

steakhousesally · 30/08/2020 15:34

@SantaClaritaDiet

Going on foreign holidays is always unnecessary. They're luxuries, not necessities.

That comments are ridiculous.
Technically enough gruel and a shelter are necessities, everything else a luxury Hmm. Life is too short to make it only about a miserable survival, what's the point?

Some people eat out, go to the cinema, go shopping, others go on holiday. Good for them. As long as they respect the current guidelines and don't break the law, they are doing nothing wrong.

You can't compare the difference between a holiday abroad and a holiday in the uk as the same as the difference between having somewhere to live and being homeless Biscuit
PaperMonster · 30/08/2020 15:44

We’ve just had two blissful weeks in somewhere quite remote in the UK. This was booked last year and we didn’t know if it would go ahead. The locals were welcoming and happy to have visitors back - even though there weren’t so many. Mentally it has done me and my child a power of good, although I am still feeling broken and could do with some further time to recuperate.

nicebreeze · 30/08/2020 15:48

You can't compare the difference between a holiday abroad and a holiday in the uk as the same as the difference between having somewhere to live and being homeless

They didn't. They said if they were restricting ourselves to necessities only in the midst of a pandemic then as long as we have food and shelter we shouldn't aspire for anything more

Burnthurst187 · 30/08/2020 15:49

I don't see the point in going away anywhere this year. Everything will be a compromise. We were meant to go to Dorset in June I think it was but are luckily able to use the deposit and go the same week next year instead

This year is a write off, that's the way I'm viewing it. Hopefully come Summer next year we'll be in a better place. Some people need to get away but I'm really not that bothered. I don't like flying for a start and the longer I have off work the harder I find it to go back

RegularHumanBartender · 30/08/2020 15:49

Thankfully there's still a slither of rationale thinking left here, people going to prison for that is not aspirational it's pretty twisted

Well said. There is a scarily high number of people who would happily support measures like this, that actively want a police state.

Splodgetastic · 30/08/2020 15:55

If it was an option I'd be out of this godforsaken country like a shot.

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