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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hairdressers make me feel self conscious. Anyone else?

95 replies

oateowon · 29/08/2020 11:12

I'm sure there's loads of us. I have average to fine hair, it's on the dry and porous side naturally. It always gets comments and I hate it.

I think it's a nice style, nice colour and I know how to blow dry. I don't need to be made to feel shit about it being dry. I already know!

Yesterday I said something like 'my colour does tend to fade quickly because my hair is fairly porous' 'oh yeah I could hardly get my fingers through it when washing without conditioner on it'. Erm, ok, thanks... I already said it was porous, don't turn the screw.

First world problem entirely but now I feel like I have the world's shittest hair, and my hair has always been a perceived flaw to me.

OP posts:

PablosHoney · 29/08/2020 11:16

You just know you’re going to get told you are lucky to have hair 😂

Mrsjayy · 29/08/2020 11:17

I don't want to dismiss you but if you're initiating conversation about your hair then your hairdresser is going to comment too the hairdresser was just agreeing with you and creating conversation.

D4rwin · 29/08/2020 11:18

Yup. I am far too self conscious to go anywhere near hairdressers or beauty therapy types. I can't face those places.

Nikori · 29/08/2020 11:18

I have thick curly hair that gets dry very easily. My hairdresser asked me if I ever brushed it. She was also very shocked when I told her I only wash it twice a week. She has straight hair, so I think she can’t relate to my hair.

Thurmanmurman · 29/08/2020 11:19

I have a lot of hair. One hairdresser got his colleague to bring a second hairdryer to help him dry it! Bloody drama queen!

OrangeGinLemonFanta · 29/08/2020 11:19

Sack off your hairdresser and try out new ones until you find one you like. I have a wonderful mobile hairdresser now, after loads of trial and error, I enjoy her company.

Paranoidmarvin · 29/08/2020 11:21

U need to find a different one. I live in village. My one is from the village. She is lovely. Helps me out. Tells me what to do to make my fine hair better. I love her. Find someone who makes u feel better about yourself and can help u improve it.

Mrsjayy · 29/08/2020 11:21

I think I'm lucky I really like my hairdresser I've either got fabulous hair or she is terribly polite although I saw her the other day and put my head down because my hair was a state

Nanny0gg · 29/08/2020 11:21

@oateowon

I'm sure there's loads of us. I have average to fine hair, it's on the dry and porous side naturally. It always gets comments and I hate it.

I think it's a nice style, nice colour and I know how to blow dry. I don't need to be made to feel shit about it being dry. I already know!

First world problem entirely but now I feel like I have the world's shittest hair, and my hair has always been a perceived flaw to me.

You opened the conversation. What did you want her to say?

Have you asked her advice on how best to treat/maybe improve it?

OrangeGinLemonFanta · 29/08/2020 11:21

My DD has thick wavy/curly hair that tangles very easily. Took her for a haircut on a blowy day and the hairdresser passive-aggresively asked her "does mummy not brush your hair?" Fuck off, it was brushed with the tangle teaser that morning. No tip and didn't go back.

seayork2020 · 29/08/2020 11:21

Not really I figured that in doing the job they have seen all sorts same as i am not going to clean my car (if I had one) before I took it to a car wash

Purpleice · 29/08/2020 11:22

My hair is very thick and most hairdressers I’ve had comment how it holds the water and takes ages to dry. Makes me feel like I should apologise. I haven’t been to a hairdressers for a about a year.

Cottipus · 29/08/2020 11:23

I think it’s more a problem with their interpersonal skills. If you’re going to make beauty/hairdressing a career you should make the client feel good.

Had a similar run in with a dentist, when the injection wouldn’t take he seemed to blame me for it and said only kids have this problem! I changed after that to a lovely dentist who always took the time to ensure the injection worked etc.

YellowLellow · 29/08/2020 11:23

I love my hairdresser and will be devastated if/when I ever need to find a new one. Before I found her going to the hairdresser filled me with dread. Keep looking OP!

Nikori · 29/08/2020 11:24

I remembered another one. A hairdresser said to me, "You must really hate having curly hair". I said no, I really like it and she looked so shocked.

It's so hard finding a decent hairdresser. As long as the cut is fine, I don't really care. I mostly just read my book.

oreshina · 29/08/2020 11:24

They were just echoing what you said.

I loathe going to the hairdresser - i get bored, restless, can't bare the small talk and having to say I really like the my hair at the end when I actually just want to get out of there! The hair is always fine, it's just me, I dont like the whole ritual never have since my very first hair cut! I do my own now...started with you tube videos doing very slight trim now I always cut and colour and always get compliments.

Titterofwit · 29/08/2020 11:25

I have average hair and havent had any pithy comments on its texture or anything but I still cant abide going to hairdressers.
I have been only a handful of times as an adult (never as a child) and have hated every one of them.
Its the huge mirrors that you get plonked in front of -and the waiting around - and exclusive chatting among the hairdresser and her regular customers and staff. Actually I think thats the most irritating thing when you are trying to seek out a hairdresser that you might want to become a regular at.

formerbabe · 29/08/2020 11:25

Yes I get this...hate going to the hairdressers...I find them really judgemental. There's plenty of ways to comment on something without it seeming like a criticism...so, they could say yes it is porous but you're lucky it's so thick or something like that

DDIJ · 29/08/2020 11:25

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Mrsjayy · 29/08/2020 11:26

My hair also takes an age to dry the hairdresser jokes about jt but she has never been sneery about it, Find another hairdresser if you don't feel yours is right getting a haircut is meant to be a relaxing pleasant experience.

redcarbluecar · 29/08/2020 11:27

Not too bothered about comments on my hair but I hate looking in the mirror for the duration of the cut. Not the most flattering.

toiletpaper · 29/08/2020 11:29

I hate going to these places full stop. The thought of sitting in front of that mirror for all that time makes me feel all cold inside! And the making conversation park, yuck. I sort my hair out myself - dye and cut it.

Brabarella · 29/08/2020 11:32

Yep they give me really bad anxiety , I had a cut at home about 2 years ago should really book something again but I hate it

ilovethesmellofthesea · 29/08/2020 11:32

I hate going to the hairdressers too. I have discovered in lockdown that I can give myself a better colour than the very posh place I've been going to for years and years. Finally I've been able to get rid of the red tint that I always get in the sun when the hairdresser does my colour. For £5.99 and ten minutes!!! I wonder how many other people have realised that?

morriseysquif · 29/08/2020 11:37

She could have said something positive or given you some advice.

I just find they never listen.

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