Hairdressers make me feel self conscious. Anyone else?

[oateowon]

I'm sure there's loads of us. I have average to fine hair, it's on the dry and porous side naturally. It always gets comments and I hate it.

I think it's a nice style, nice colour and I know how to blow dry. I don't need to be made to feel shit about it being dry. I already know!

Yesterday I said something like 'my colour does tend to fade quickly because my hair is fairly porous' 'oh yeah I could hardly get my fingers through it when washing without conditioner on it'. Erm, ok, thanks... I already said it was porous, don't turn the screw.

First world problem entirely but now I feel like I have the world's shittest hair, and my hair has always been a perceived flaw to me.

@ilovethesmellofthesea what is this colour? i cant get rid of the red tinge it drives me mad.

Definitely self conscious. I tend to avoid where possible and cut mine myself. It's curly and very easy for hairdressers to make into a cloud of tangled frizz unless they know what they're doing/which products to use if cutting wet.

If you get a good hairdresser they will become your friend.
I am obsessed with my hair and it not being out of place and discovered my hairdresser after relocating almost 25 years ago. She was recommended by a new work colleague so make sure you ask people you know with nice hair.
Fortunately she is younger than me so will retire after I do so I’m pleased that I will be ok for the next 10 years.
As I said she has become my friend and I made sure I paid her during lockdown as she was without income and I continued to work. I thought that was a small price to pay for her friendship and making me satisfied with my hair over the years.
I hope those of you who hate the hairdressers manage to find a good one like I have.

if you're initiating initiating conversation about your hair then your hairdresser is going to comment too the hairdresser was just agreeing with you and creating conversation.

The hairdresser could easily have said something more polite/neutral or even helpful –'Mmm, yes, it is quite porous isn't it' or 'have you tried x conditioner/treatment?'
My hairdresser is ace and I can't imagine her saying anything rude about my hair. If I do mention its problems or quirks (like my two cowlicks, or its increasing greyness, or thickness and wilful-seeming messiness) she laughs along with me, or suggests a styling product or technique, or something, depending on what exactly I say.

I'd say look for another hairdresser.

@Thurmanmurman
I have a lot of hair. One hairdresser got his colleague to bring a second hairdryer to help him dry it! Bloody drama queen!

This has happened to me loads, I hate it, I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions.

Same here.

Hair grows longer on one side5if my head than the other. Hairdresser accused me of cutting it. No, it just grows quicker on one side. Hairdresser doesn't believe me. Because she obviously knows my hair (after only 1 hour) better than me...

@rosegoldwatcher yours sounds ace!

You just know you’re going to get told you are lucky to have hair 😂

That would be me then.

But really, who knew that "average to fine" hair that is "dry and on the porous side" would be such a conversation stopper to the point that it "always" attracts comments?

Maybe I'm better off in my natural baldilocks state if commenting on someone's hair being"porous is perceived as "turning the screw".

My hair takes ages and ages to dry. It’s not thick, I just have lots of quite fine hair. I’ve had a lot of comments over the years about how long it takes, or that their arm is aching 😂 I feel like welcome to my world, it takes forever and I hate drying and styling it.

I'm v fussy about the whole experience, if anyone says anything irritating like that then that's it , I don't see them again.

The chap I go to now is great, good to talk to .

I don't much like going to the hairdressers. Apart from the expense, I find it hard to make small talk with them, especially if they talk about something controversial.

I mainly go to a quite cheap salon run by mainly Eastern Europeans who only speak -well bark at me to sit up, turn tight , turn left etc etc!

When I used to have my hair done where my mum lived, I got on quite well with the hairdresser but she was always going on about Poles 'taking our jobs' fruit picking. Ummm no. Not many English people wanting to do that!

There are wonderful, talented, thoughful hairdressers but going through the process of finding them is excrutiating. Hair is very personal and it can feel vulnerable sitting there like a twat in a cape with hair sectioned all stupid and them getting so close to your personal space, examining the scalp and inspecting the hair. Not to mention the cost for all that discomfort. I just do my own hair now but every now and again i hanker after gorgeous high and low lights... then i remember what it's like being at th3 hairdressers and get totally put off. It's like going to the dentist or hygienist.. really hate being out of control and sitting still while a stranger is in my personal space.

@Deathraystare haha, yes the comments about immigrants.... and then they figure out I’m one of them

I get the feeling that many people now colour their own hair, anyone else? Went to have my hair cut and they said my hair colour was nice, and did Zi colour it myself, and that the blonde highlights could me made more prominent ... but Ai said Si never colour my hair, that’s just how my hair gets in the summer. They said they could put highlights in in winter ... desperate?

I am happy to pay for a good cut, but not bothered to start the whole process of colouring when my natural hair colour is ok

Long long time ago I had the perfect hairdresser, a young guy who got the whole thing just right. Now he is a salon owner, and cuts Liz Hurley and other celebs and constantly gets flown out to rich people’s weddings in the Middle East to do bridal hair. Sadly he’s too expensive and elusive for me now

I've moved around quite a bit over the last years. It seems as if, every time I find a new hairdresser, they have to make a big deal of how the last one did SUCH a bad job and how my current style does NOTHING for me and how terrible it must be to go around with my FACE looking SO DREADFUL.

Yeah... what’s that about? It makes you feel uncomfortable straight off, like you’re a complete numpty who’s going round without realising how terrible you look.

I find hairdressers give me a good cut once, twice tops. Then for some reason they decide they own my hair and just do whatever. Then I have to go elsewhere (after I’ve waited a year for the crazy layers or whatever to die down). Then the cycle begins again.

There is a place in a shopping centre near me where you don’t make an appointment you just walk-in and get the next available stylist. I think I might start going there from now on.

I feel a bit better having read this thread as always throught it was just me who doesn't like going to the hairdressers. I absolutely detest it and don't go any more for many of the reasons mentioned in this thread. I have v. fine, difficult hair. I agree with others who say to keep looking until you find a nice one (I've given up for now). It shouldn't feel like shooting for the moon to find someone pleasant who doesn't make sneery comments or seem to actively try to make you feel shit about your appearance, but somehow it can be difficult to find one.

Yes, I would rather go to the dentist and have a filling than the haidresser. Luckily I have really forgiving hair, which is quite long. I bought some decent scissors and can cut my own fringe in about a minute, I give the ends a trim every few weeks and have a nice n easy repeat delivery from Amazon. I am happy with the results and during lockdown was doing a flour/loo roll barter in return for fringe trims 😁

Shop around.

I have found a real gem- a lovely woman in an very ordinary salon- but she totally gets me, gets my hair, understands that I don't like much faff or hair maintainance.
Cut and blow dry £18.
I enjoy the experience.

A hairdresser once asked me “Is your mum’s hair like this?” - yes.

“And your dad’s?” - yes.

“They shouldn’t have had children.”

Oh, I had this a couple of years ago!

I had really dry ends and needed a good few inches off and this is exactly what I said to the hairdresser and rather than her just doing her job and chop it off, she spent about 10 minutes beforehand running her fingers through it, holding it up in disgust saying "yeah....look...it's sooo dry at the ends. This needs to come off", before lifting it up and doing exactly the same....again and again It was so embarrassing! I could see people turning round in their chairs to look!

I kept saying "I know, I know. That's why I'm here". It took a lot for me not to tell her to f@#% off and just leave tbh.

Funny thing was, her hair was absolutely horrific! Bleached to a frizzy crisp! Not sure she's heard of the glass houses expression 🤔

Lululemming - your quote about preferring the dentist, yes me too!

HipTightOnions- Christ on a bike! That was rude!!!

I cut and colour my own hair and have done for years. I have curly hair and use the curly girl method and lots of coconut oil based products. The last time I went to the hairdresser was around 15 years ago, and she tried to persuade me to have some kind of perm to give me more defined curls. Since then it's been self care and I get the occasional compliment on how nice my hair looks. I go for the artfully tousled look - if I had poker straight fine hair, I don't think I'd risk going at it with the kitchen scissors though.

'sitting there like a twat in a cape'
Lol hilarious 🤣 😆 😂

I've never found a hairdresser I like...I find them all a bit bitchy...even when I was young, pretty and fashionable, I felt like they were looking me up and down when I walked in and slagging me off when I wasn't looking. I always think they're like the cool girls in school. I'm surprised so many women go to get their hair done, they must be made of tougher stuff than me

This is just poor social skills. Even if you are a hairdresser who has no hair, very fine hair, whatever, you should know about all the different hair types. And be able to talk to people sensitively!