Hairdressers make me feel self conscious. Anyone else?

[oateowon]

I'm sure there's loads of us. I have average to fine hair, it's on the dry and porous side naturally. It always gets comments and I hate it.

I think it's a nice style, nice colour and I know how to blow dry. I don't need to be made to feel shit about it being dry. I already know!

Yesterday I said something like 'my colour does tend to fade quickly because my hair is fairly porous' 'oh yeah I could hardly get my fingers through it when washing without conditioner on it'. Erm, ok, thanks... I already said it was porous, don't turn the screw.

First world problem entirely but now I feel like I have the world's shittest hair, and my hair has always been a perceived flaw to me.

I have fine hair but a lot of it which tangles easily, esp when blow drying. So I usually get a comment apologising for pulling it with a brush, although they never pull at it any more than I do so it's easy to laugh off. If she often makes comments that make you uncomfortable I would find a new hairdresser, but just the one doesn't sound too bad as you started the conversation.

I'm in my thirties and every time I get my haircut I hear "ooh you've got a lot of greys coming through under here"

Yes. I know.

I've been to multiple hairdressers and they all say the same thing. I then have to justify why I don't want to dye my hair (because it's expensive and I can't be bothered). Really annoying.

Ive been to the hairdresser for full day appointments twice this year and each time I had to go back the next day for her to fix it. I fucking hate the hairdressers. They never listen to what you want, faff about and chat for too long and the ones I seem to get can't work and chat at the same time.

I don't want the words "strive to achieve" ever again ffs.
Oh and if someone has trichotillomania and usually styles their hair in a certain way when they've come in, you should really replicate that once you've done their hair rather than leave big bald spots on show.

Fuck sake.

You need to find a new hairdresser. Mine has become a very good friend over the years and when I turn up she always asks what I want doing and I always say whatever she thinks will be best. I trust her totally and I have never left not feeling amazing.

See if friends could recommend somewhere nicer for you, maybe?

I would suggest that you keep trying different hairdressers until you find one you like. I've been going to my hairdresser for years now, and have become really good friends with her over the years. It took me a lot of time to find her though.

I seriously love my stylist. He is 63, orange, bald, gay and an absolute hoot.

He has been sorting my thinning, superfine, shoulder-length, completely-see-through-under-the-dye hair for the past 12 years.
I know it's awful hair, he knows it's awful hair - he never says so though.
He and I have great bants about films we have seen, books we have read etc and he lets me read my kindle (during the long wait for the dye to take) in peace too.

I haven't been to the salon since December and need to phone for an appointment but am quite worried that he might have retired during lockdown.

I used to get those comments a lot when I went to a posh salon. Lots of heavy sighs about my thick hair and suggestions of expensive products.

I now go to a much less fancy salon that has a barbers attached and I book with one of the two junior stylists. They're cheap, quick and tell me amusing stories about their Tinder dates instead of banging on about my hair. The clientele are mostly older ladies and mums, so they don't bother with the whole product sales pitches. Its worth seeing if you have a salon nearby that's a bit more friendly.

I've just always hated talking while looking at myself in the mirror. Not sure why, it just seems to sap all my concentration and I end up not being able to talk properly as I'm focusing on the weird way my mouth moves when I talk.

Agree some hairdressers are rude. I used to kiss clients arses as a hairdressers 'I love your top' 'I love your earrings' 'you have lovely hair'. It was bullshit and scripted for everyone but who in the world insults their clients if they feel fab they tip more duh.

I've moved around quite a bit over the last years. It seems as if, every time I find a new hairdresser, they have to make a big deal of how the last one did SUCH a bad job and how my current style does NOTHING for me and how terrible it must be to go around with my FACE looking SO DREADFUL.

My personal favourite, back when I had a bob with a fringe, was the one who tilted her head and said brightly: "I'm not being funny, but this style does make you look quite old, doesn't it? Because it's a bit like a helmet, isn't it?" Her colleague had given me that style (which apparently also made me look soooooo much better) and then moved to another salon ...

Hate going to hairdressers so don't.

The last time I found a hairdresser that kept my hair looking great was when I was in my mid 20s, I'm now in my early 70s and I went to him for ages until he left the salon suddenly and, of course, no one would tell me where he'd gone.

Over the years I've been to loads of different hairdressers and some of them were better than others, but since that one brilliant hairdresser I've never found anyone that came near his skills with my hair.

The hairdresser once told me I would go grey early. I was 14.

You need to find a new hairdresser who has good interpersonal skills.

Tbh I’ve rarely had a hairdresser where I’ve looked at their hair and thought wow, that’s a great cut and fab condition. So many seem to just tie it up in a topknot, looking scruffy and needing to be dyed again.

OP YANBU. Hairdressers deserve their own circle in hell. Hate the lot of them for so many reasons and I have yet to find a good one, so don't even cut my hair anymore.

I am not very groomed etc and I do feel like hairdressers are often quite cruel to me. I have lost a lot of hair due to a thyroid issue and anemia and hairdressers often point it put totally unprompted - last time I had the hairdresser say "you don't have much hair, it's not going to look nice" several times. Thanks for letting me pay to feel like shit!

I have very thick hair and both the shampoo person and the hairdresser nearly always say, "Oooo you've got thick hair!"

Yes, I do. Thank you for pointing that out. I've never noticed.

I hate it too, go once every year or two max for a simple cut. I know nothing about hair, I brush it, wash it and that's about my level of interest. I don't wear make up, don't follow fashion and don't have any interest in it. I'm not particularly typically feminine. When I walk into a hairdresser I'm confronted with all these magazines of hairstyles, fashion, or gossip. I don't know what to do with myself. They ask me how I want my hair....erm...shorter please and they never seem to able to hide their disgust that I haven't been to a hairdresser in a year . I am clean, I promise!!!

I wear glasses so I can't see a bloody thing for the whole time, so can't pretend to read. That leaves me with the bloody awful thought of social interaction for an hour which for me is unbearable.

Loved lockdown, hacked it off and seeing as we never saw anyone it really didn't matter how it looked!

OP - I feel exactly the same.....

If I could cut my own hair, I would.

Yep I hate it. I don't want to hear about their holidays, dog, latest diet, family problems, political views, or anything else. Especially as none of them appear to be very bright.

SAME.
I got told that they hate it when I go in because my hair is so difficult to wash.
Well don’t be so fucking stingy on the conditioner then!

Btw I never went back to that salon.
They weren’t careful with it either when combing they just rip it out!

Oh yes. I don't use shampoo so I take my own products. And a blob of conditioner goes nowhere on my hair, I use palmfuls
No, I don't want to buy the expensive silicone products, my hair looks a million times better without!

yes definitely try a different hairdresser!

I went to a salon where the hairdresser was genuinely awful and really quite mean, I never went back, her loss. I was also often told by other hairdressers (without asking, I already know) that my hair is coarse, too thick, frizzy etc etc.

Now I found one who is lovely, only ever offers tips on what could improve it, not just saying what's wrong with it, and gives honest but kind comments on the condition it is in etc.

I hate going to the hairdresser. I hate how long it takes, I hate the way they always push to sell you stuff - no, I don’t want sodding Olaplex on top of the already extortionate highlights - and I hate the cost. This has held true across the dozens of salons I’ve been to. It’s just not an enjoyable experience for me.

@jgjgjgjgjg thats seems a tad unnecessary and rude.