Walking alone?

[goingtosleep]

I live in an area of amazing natural beauty and I love outdoors, love walking/hiking BUT I don't like going on my own.
I won't admit it easily but I'm actually afraid of going on my own, it's not really about what if i break my leg , more about feeling vulnerable as a woman on my own in a forest and any man i see could be a potential threat.
Now I'm pretty sure IABU but how to get over this? Are there any others that feel that way? And finally what's wrong with me? (I have not had any traumatic experiences in the past)

I walk on my own every day in remote areas or parks that others would consider dodgy. I do have my small dog but it just never crosses my mind to be wary to be honest. The risk is really so infinitesimally small - your risk perception is more harmful to you than the risk of attack as it is curtailing your health and enjoyment.

That said, I read a study somewhere that said predatory men can pick victims by their gait, so stride confidently, head up, chest out, as if you have not a care in the world. Cultivate a swagger of sorts! That's what I used to do when walking alone at night down streets in SE Asia which were well known to be risky. Never got any bother.

Found a study on walking gait and vulnerability - abstract here:

www.researchgate.net/publication/235669299_Psychopathy_and_Victim_Selection_The_Use_of_Gait_as_a_Cue_to_Vulnerability

I grew up in a rural Warwickshire village .I'm sorry to the people who think the countryside is safer, but when i was 9, a foreign exchange student walked the host family dog along the main road to town & was never seen again. There was a rape the next village over where a guy climbed into their garden from the cabal tow oath The local smallish woods, 2 girls at my school got flashed at twice by different guys. The much larger 'common' was a known cottaging & dogging site & not safe at night. In my 29's I moved to a small rural town 2miles away & again the two or three smallish woods were notorious for flashers & cottaging.

I'm encouraged in a way that I'm not the only one not at ease in a forest on my own,
And I'm amazed by the ladies going camping on their own!
unfortunately I don't think I'm able to change much, so i think the best solution for me would be to find someone to go with.
I've actually been to the forest with my kids and even though realistically they offer no protection whatsoever and are themselves more vulnerable, I did strangely feel more at ease (or possibly too preoccupied with their complaints about walking to have had time to worry)

I'm not going to google cottaging

I can understand it but you're likely to encounter a predator in a densely populated urban area than a sparsely populated rural one.

Instead of a beacon OP have you heard of the What3words app. Me and DP have tried it out it’s very accurate (being advertised on TV at the moment)

I should have added to the above emergency services use this too now so you can ring 999 give the words and they will know your exact location x

A lot of people go out walking alone in remote areas and are never seen or heard of again.

In the UK?

No, they don't. They really don't.

Answers like this are misleading at best, scaremongering at worst.

Most women I know wouldn't be happy walking alone in an isolated area. The risk is small but it won't matter one jot if it did happen. The consequence is too great. I'm happy to walk with a dog but since ours passed I haven't been out alone more than twice. We live in a very rural area and it's just not enjoyable for me. It sounds like you have school aged kids? Why not see if some of the other mums are up for a walk after drop off? Loads of mums do it that way around here. Borrowing a dog is another great option. Even a small dog is proven deterrent.

My experience is more similar to CSIblonde. You have to know your area Op. Is it likely to be safe or is it rough? Don't ever try to be PC about it, and always always trust your instincts. Know the geography too. Dimly lit places next to bright areas, i.e. low travelled areas next to population centres, are much more worrying to me than places out in the middle of nowhere.

Anything can happen to anyone at anytime so your enjoyment of life shouldn’t be stopped. Instead have a plan just in case. I suggest invest in a rape alarm no potential rapist or murderer is going to stick around with one of them going off they are bloody loud it doesn’t matter no one else might be around to hear it.

Isn’t it horrible that many of us fear predatory men to the point where it ruins a country walk. It is part of my innate thoughts too, but I hadn’t really thought about how sad that is before.

The rate of sexual offences in predominantly rural areas was 2.3 per 1,000 population in 2019/20, compared with 2.7 per 1,000 population in predominantly urban areas.

I too would risk assess where I walk alone or with a young child. But I think that's part of keeping ourselves safe.
For example I will walk a 4 mile route alone because I know that generally there will be others on that route, which make potential attacks less likely to not be interrupted so imo unlikely to take place. Whereas some routes, like by a canal in the countryside where I am you'll see noone. So I risk assess as being more dangerous and in fact a few years ago an assault did occur.

I was just thinking back to my early 20s, I used to take my little Jack Russell for a walk every single day after tea around the very large reservoir in the next village, it was really secluded and I rarely saw another person. I would not feel comfortable doing that now and I wonder why I did then? Obviously nothing happened to me and I never felt vulnerable. Have times changed so much in the last 15 years or so?

Isn’t it horrible that many of us fear predatory men to the point where it ruins a country walk. It is part of my innate thoughts too, but I hadn’t really thought about how sad that is before.

I agree. We went for some wooded walks over the Summer & I said to DH I would love to walk here alone but I wouldn't. Nothing from my past really but I grew up in a roughish part of London so if I was out late at night I was very alert & just wouldn't go to certain areas at night alone.
Logically I know I'm more likely to be a victim of crime in a urban environment but then I think I'm more at risk from disappearing/murder in a remote environment.

I know how you feel. I will walk around my village but I'm wary of going anywhere too remote without another adult.

Have times changed so much in the last 15 years or so?

There's so much more reporting and discussion when bad things happen now but it's always gone on.
Also I think we just naturally get more cautious as we get older.
When I think of the risks I took in my early twenties I'm amazed I survived.

I run in woods in the dark on my own. Love it !
Yes bad things could happen but they can in daylight if in groups And I don’t want to live my life confined

I think @fluffykittensinabasket is enjoying the drama of fuelling your fears, OP. I walk alone and although I’m aware there is a risk, I think it’s very small. I quite often see other women hiking alone too. I’m not sure which area you live in, but I’ve hiked all over the Home Counties on my own.

I love going for walks alone although I tend to stick to walking from my house. I never see anyone at all usually and I find that comforting. My main concern on an unfamiliar walk would be getting lost or encountering a field of angry cows.

Risk assessment is not just about the likelihood of something happening but also the impact and consequences if it does. Something may be high risk because of the potential consequences rather than the likelihood of it occurring.

The risk of your parachute failing whilst skydiving may be low but the consequences if it does are quite dire! High risk. Whereas the likelihood of poking yourself in the finger whilst sewing may be higher but the consequences are negligible. Low risk.

The likelihood of being assaulted by a stranger may be low and there may be steps you can take to reduce the likelihood further, but there is absolutely fuck all you can do in advance to reduce the impact if it happens (and not much afterwards either).

Life would never be the same again, if you survived. (Trauma can vary and can reduce but generally it is lifelong - and no, a handful of therapy sessions and a positive attitude won't make it all better).

Some people will still accept that balance of risk, but anybody who doesn't should not be judged or condemned for making the right decision for them and their life.

@user14562156358 that's how I feel.

The risk is really so infinitesimally small - your risk perception is more harmful to you than the risk of attack as it is curtailing your health and enjoyment.

See I find this strange as I had multiple things happen to me from strange men throughout my teens, 20’s and early 30’s. I was very vulnerable when out alone and was constantly harassed, grabbed at, abused for rejecting men etc etc. While I wasn’t murdered, the chances of something happening were far from infinitesimally small and I know I’m not alone in experiencing this daily harassment (no longer these days thank god) but it has made me wary forever.

I don’t think statistics count except for murder. Most incidents go unreported.

A lot of people go out walking alone in remote areas and are never seen or heard of again.

They really don't. This is a classic example of risk perception bearing no resemblance to actual risk.

I've walked alone in remote areas of every country I've lived in -- plus I spent years living in the rural Midlands and walked all the time there, and in the Peak District, as well as parts of the Pennine and Cotswold Way (neither of which I would class as 'remote'.