Walking alone?

[goingtosleep]

I live in an area of amazing natural beauty and I love outdoors, love walking/hiking BUT I don't like going on my own.
I won't admit it easily but I'm actually afraid of going on my own, it's not really about what if i break my leg , more about feeling vulnerable as a woman on my own in a forest and any man i see could be a potential threat.
Now I'm pretty sure IABU but how to get over this? Are there any others that feel that way? And finally what's wrong with me? (I have not had any traumatic experiences in the past)

I feel exactly the same as you OP. To be honest I never even thought it was weird, though I am aware of my friends that many of them will take routes alone that I never would, so I guess it must be unusual. I know the risk is absolutely tiny. But the consequences would just be so awful that I just can’t shake that fear and don’t enjoy isolated walks on my own at all. I used to have a big dog and I guess he helped a bit, but he was soft as anything so I knew wouldn’t actually do anything, I guess he was off-putting though. Sorry that’s not helpful, but just to let you know you’re not alone in feeling like this!

OP, I could have written your post.

I think it's about being alert. I am much more aware of my surroundings on my own, and walk with my keys in my hand ready to do damage if needed. I have it that I'd aim for the eye and then run for my life (I'm quite a good runner). Probably totally utopic but this does give me some reassurance. I try not to go alone too often.

Wrt ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ I think it is more a case if process the fear and enable yourself to do it anyway.

Because otherwise our lives get smaller and smaller.

It really is not true that ‘lots’ of women go missing without trace, and the fact that the very rarer atrocity stays in our mind shows just how rare and therefore high profile these cases are.

I go on a lot of walking and camping SM groups and I can assure you that many many women are walking alone on fells, dales, long distance footpaths round the welsh coast, Pennine Way, Peddars Way, local woods, across marsh paths, through parks like Richmond Wimbledon common and all over this country, every day. Without the slightest upset, let alone disappearing.

[quote Couchpotato3]If you can't get a dog of your own, could you borrow one or offer to walk a dog for someone who is unable to get out to more adventurous places with their dog?
Borrowmydoggy.com?[/quote]
this - I've just come back from a long walk with my friends beautiful dog - I'm like you OP - I love walking and walk, run and camp alone but yes we are vulnerable and society makes sure we know that (with posts like Fluffykittens enforcing that feeling, reality is we are probably very safe - but even today, walking along a deserted bit of canal with a (perfectly innocent) bloke walking behind me I felt a bit wobbly

Ask about lcoally, there are usually plenty of dog owners would like their dog to have extra walkies.

I'm surprised there are quite a few women here that feel the same way, I suppose in real life people just don't admit to their fears that openly.
It's a shame we're scattered all over the place otherwise could start The Cautious Women's Walking Club or similar

DimidDavilby - and you have no manners!

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/homicideinenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2019#how-were-victims-and-suspects-related

“The suspect was a stranger for just over one-fifth of male victims (22%, 85 victims). This was a decrease of 40% compared with the previous year (141 victims), when there was a large peak. The 85 victims in the last year sees a return to the levels seen between the year ending March 2014 to the year ending March 2016 (Appendix Table 11). The suspect was less likely to be a stranger when the victim was female (6%, 13 victims).“

Canada has a higher estimate: www.ncjrs.gov/App/Publications/abstract.aspx?ID=176660

“Data reported to police and data from crime victimization surveys showed that about one-third of victims of police-reported violent crime in 1996 were victimized by strangers while two- thirds involved perpetrators known to victims. Robbery was the only violent offense typically committed by strangers; in 1996, more than 8 in 10 robberies were committed by strangers.”

“In 1996, 14 percent of homicide victims were killed by strangers.”

So you are more likely to be attacked by a stranger but less likely to die from murder at the hands of a stranger.

Back to Canada again, www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2019001/article/00016-eng.htm

“The most significant being that victims in the North were less likely to be killed by a stranger (7%) than in the South (19%).“

I go on my own most times. I live really rurally and don’t think about it. Mountains and quarries is my domain. Love it.

If I thought about it id never leave the house

And I’m not scaremongering, I take offence when people say that I’m “talking crap.” Look at some statistics.

It’s unlikely you’ll be attacked or very unlikely you’ll murdered but I didn’t make up the statistics.

I've never felt happy in woods, even in company, as I feel they are spooky. The sound of a twig snapping which is probably only a bird or suchlike gets my imagination going - it's bound to be a mad axe murderer isn't it?

I avoid shortcuts through parks and footpaths when alone. They are probably safe most of the time but one's safety cannot be guaranteed anywhere. It takes just one bad decision and there danger lurks. Yes, I admit I'm a scaredy-cat but it's kept me safe all these years. You only have to be unlucky once.

Today 11:06 FluffyKittensinabasket

‘A lot of people go out walking alone in remote areas and are never seen or heard of again.’

I’ve just quoted @FluffyKittensinabasket’s first post on this thread in its entirety. It’s utter bullshit.

I love going for solo walks, bit of fresh air and just my own thoughts, clears the cobwebs [smiles]

I walk a lot on my own in the Peak district. I am more wary than a man might be, especially when I'm doing a new route but generally feel and know that I am safer than walking around town.

I prefer being in the open, where I can see people coming rather than woods, but I think that's the fairy tales! I am also more aware on routes where there isn't an easy get out, so an enclosed canal path isn't my thing. However, I also take this advice for cows!

I sometimes do get a scary feeling (more panic like) with exposure in a wide open space or I think that I'm miles away from help if something does go wrong. I find chewing gum helps with that- gives my mouth something to do and regulates my breathing.

I am more worried about twisting my ankle and being unable to walk on than being attacked but there are many steps I take to minimise any risk

*I carry a bivvi bag (even in Summer) and extra food and water
*I tell someone my route, however rough and what time to expect me back
*I also use the OS map (and carry a proper map, compass and whistle)
*I try and be aware front and back of other people, there are usually more than you realise. Trust gut instincts- most will have walking equipment (though fell runners often travel light)
*Try and look confident and if you know where you are going. Unless of course you really are lost, then it's usually best to ask
*I talk to everyone enroute (this is partially a Derbyshire thing and partially a walking thing). This helps me realise that most folk are like me, out for a lovely walk and not a murder. I find single men walkers have tended to be very respectful in not frightening me if they overtake

As a PP said, start small. Perhaps always do a new walk with someone before undertaking on your own. I love the space and empowerment it has bought to me and my MH.

Also search for an Adventure Queen local group on FB. These are more individuals rather than an organised walking group.

And I’m not scaremongering

People go for walks and are never seen again!
What the fuck is that if not scaremongering bullshit
People are capable of going for a walk without feeling like they should be scared into always having a chaperone if they go out as bad people round every corner
(although just to be clear anyone who does want one, or likes to always be with someone when walking out, nothing wrong with that either)
Just stop the scaremongering bullshit.

Caelano - well some people have done.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en_uk/article/yw8eey/inside-britains-escalating-missing-persons-problem

www.missingpeople.org.uk/latest-news/1018-missing-people-publishes-latest-uk-statistics.html

Some but not all are suicides.

‘Lots of people’

I don’t know why but pretty much wherever I go men approach me. I think if men generally left me alone I’d feel a bit better about exploring woods solo

I know you shouldn't have to but might be a good idea to try to look as nondescript as possible. Woolly hat covering hair, long parka jacket, jeans and heavy boots, no make up... it also helps if you have a resting bitch face

Caelano - maybe if somebody close to you had been murdered or is missing you would change your tune.

It does happen to people like it happened to me.

Sorry to hear that
What's your solution though? You (general you) can't hide away or be too scared to go anywhere by yourself forever, that's not healthy

I do the imagining scenarios thing every time I walk or run alone. 'What if..' but I know that these places are not the biggest risk for women, I know that I could probably do 1000 walks without coming to harm. So I think 'what if I live my life afraid of something that is vanishingly unlikely?' 'what if I miss out?' 'why should women not have this freedom?' and I keep on going. Now I spend less time predicting sudden attack and more time putting the world to rights in my head!

I get a bit annoyed when these discussions invariably turn towards the statistics for being raped or murdered.
I enjoy walking alone, I do not enjoy dealing with entitled men approaching me. They will not take no for an answer without getting nasty about it and its impossible for me to tell if they are harmless or not.
Its frightening to be hiking miles from the car or anyone else and be approached by someone who wont take a hint and is determined to get your phone number.
One time I was wearing headphones and a man approached me from behind and pulled them off to get my attention.

If men would just leave us alone we could get on with enjoying the outdoors in the same way they can. Why can't they just say 'good morning, lovely weather for it' and keep on walking!

If someone close to me was murdered or missing I’d be devastated. It doesn’t need a random on the internet to point that out to any of us.

What I hope it wouldn’t do is encourage me to post scaremongering lies on the internet. A lot of people walking alone in rural areas do not disappear and are never heard of again. Fact.

I feel the same OP. I know there is a women's walking group near me, but I don't specifically want to walk with just women, or walk in a group - just one other like minded person would be good!

I often walk alone on the coast path and quite enjoy it. In fact now if I go with someone I resent them talking when I just want to enjoy the scenery. I think maybe some exposure therapy may help you. So start off with a short walk in an area you know and build up to longer distances. The more you do it then the easier you will find it. Also put measures in place like I do like tell someone where you are going or every so often text or what's app someone to tell them where you are. Also recognise your fears are valid as some bad things do happen but less often than you think and rarely rurally or round nice areas. I would feel less safe in a city area with lots of people than walking rurally or on the coast on my own.

It is sad that when walking alone in the great outdoors the most dangerous thing you can encounter, in the UK at least, is a human male. You are right to be cautious OP but honestly I've had countless bad experiences in towns and cities and only one when in the countryside, and that was within 1/4 mile of a village. In that instance I know the local deer runs very well and basically used them to get away from a couple of suspicious characters on the main track.

For me it's the case that I enjoy my walking so much, I'm not going to allow the threat of male violence to spoil it. I'm physically fit and my main source of protection is the ability to sense potential trouble and get away before it starts. I'm also careful not to stick to a routine, so anyone intending harm couldn't anticipate where I might be.

But honestly, people who mean harm are far more likely to hang out in more populous areas. You'd be exceptionally unlucky on a countryside walk and the risk is greater in towns.