Walking alone?

[goingtosleep]

I live in an area of amazing natural beauty and I love outdoors, love walking/hiking BUT I don't like going on my own.
I won't admit it easily but I'm actually afraid of going on my own, it's not really about what if i break my leg , more about feeling vulnerable as a woman on my own in a forest and any man i see could be a potential threat.
Now I'm pretty sure IABU but how to get over this? Are there any others that feel that way? And finally what's wrong with me? (I have not had any traumatic experiences in the past)

maybe if somebody close to you had been murdered or is missing you would change your tune.

Of course it's awful. A schoolfriend of mine went missing and was found dead four months later. It's horrific and upsetting - nobody is arguing otherwise. But the likelihood of it happening is vanishingly small. As an aside, he was a young, white male. They found his body in a river - there was no CCTV so nobody knows whether it was suicide, an accident or foul play. I doubt we'll ever know.

But what happened to him doesn't stop me from living my life. I don't think he'd ever want that. My job involves me walking outdoors all week, with no other people - just dogs. Most of whom would be absolutely useless if I was ever attacked! But I'm not living my life in fear.

You are right to be cautious OP but honestly I've had countless bad experiences in towns and cities and only one when in the countryside, and that was within 1/4 mile of a village.

Absolutely. I've never felt scared in the countryside. I've felt very worried and nervous walking through busy, populated cities at night.

@FluffyKittensinabasket you are full of shit and have pulled that 80% figure out of your arse Probably, but 80% is nearer than your "tiny, tiny". However, you also have to add in to the equation that two thirds of homicide victims are male, that the most likely victims of homicide are children under 2 years, followed by young males 16-24. It all adds up to the most dangerous part of your walk is driving from your home to the parking place.

I feel much safer if my usual walking companion is with me. He's nearly 80

I belong to walking groups now I am older and live in Cornwall. Years ago my dm used to worry about me taking the dogs to Wimbledon Common early in the morning. I was there the day before the murder. I'm more aware now

Of course, if something bad has happened to us personally, or to someone close to us, it’s going to alter our perception of a situation. So if I knew someone who had gone walking alone in a particular area and had disappeared without trace, yeah, no doubt it would put me off walking alone in that location.

The point is, that experience wouldn’t alter the facts and the statistics. It wouldn’t mean that I should suddenly start telling everyone on the internet that ‘lots of people Who go walking alone go missing without trace’. That is absolutely the definition of scare mongering.

@Felifox

I belong to walking groups now I am older and live in Cornwall. Years ago my dm used to worry about me taking the dogs to Wimbledon Common early in the morning. I was there the day before the murder. I'm more aware now

I lived and worked not far from there. It was dreadful. However, what is telling is that you refer to 'the murder'. Rachel Nickell was murdered 28 years ago. It wasn't an isolated event but rare enough that you can refer to it in those terms and I recognise it. As appalling as her death was, I don't let it influence how I behave now, in a very different area.

I walk alone frequently usually on a coastal path, sometimes through woods to a bay. I find that most men walking on their own tend to give you a very wide berth, and speed up past you. Only once did I feel unsafe I was sat on the beach only me there at that part invisible to rest of the beach eating my lunch a man walked past a couple of times it didnt feel right was no reason to keep walking past I got up and left, was only round corner to a more populated area. I confess I did pick up a fist sized rock though.

I walk alone nearly everyday. Have walked along canals, coasts, mountains, lanes all my adult life. A lot of it alone. I have never once had any cause for concern.
I do tend to avoid forests thought as once as a teen my friend and I got stoned in one and it was a really bad paranoid trip.

I have also wild camped alone in various countries. I have got more aggro and crap from men on an average London bus journey that I have in all my years walking. Obviously I exercise caution, always have a fully charged phone, dont walk at night, and keep a high alert sense.

I feel exactly the same as you op. Doesn't help that a woman was brutally murdered in our area while walking in our local woodland. She was a keen walker in her 40s and there was apparently no motive. Its made me more anxious.

I walk every day, in very remote places, but with a dog. I must admit, I've never been randomly approached or pestered. I figure if a man is looking for a victim to rape, he would be better off looking in a more populated area.

I always know where I'm going, I have maps photographed on my phone, my kids can track my location if in area.

I love walking on my own.

You ladies camping in the wild alone, I have no words, I am honestly in awe of you!

I met a midle aged man with a small dog. He said he loved wandering about in the woods listening to the birds and looking at plants. He realised he made some lone women or those with children nervous. So he got a dog and now people say hullo and smile.
Caveat - anyone can buy a dog, even a serial killer!

I've always assessed risk and taken the decision to walk alone rather than limit myself in any way. These days I have a Jack Russell who would go for any man who tried anything

I wouldn't befriend any man when out walking even ones with small dogs. I also make sure any man I talk to is aware that my dog doesn't like men and does bite if approached. This approach does backfire sometimes when my dog saunters over to them wagging his tail and then lets them stroke his head. Arsehole traitor!

I live on the edge of a forest and walk for hours by myself, it was great during lock down as the only other walker's were those who could walk from home into the forest, I felt like had it all to myself. I do wonder if starting off with short walks would help, I started taking our dog for very short walks after school when I was about 10 and as a teenager I would go out walking a lot futher so gradually built up so I never really thought to be worried, it might work for an adult too.

I know what you mean OP. It never really crossed my mind until I went walking with my small child. I suddenly felt very vulnerable and panicky if I saw a man on path ahead. I stick to paths and dog walking routes but still feel uneasy. Maybe I should get a personal alarm.

It is 28 years since the horrible murder of Rachel Nickell.

Lots of missing women go missing by design - to escape.

I think in this position if you join every walking group going, you will soon make one or two friends to walk with (get the word out to the school mums too). I don't mind walking by myself but I do avoid farmland/woodland as I'm a bit nervous of dogs and I once got escorted very firmly off a footpath near a farm by a sheepdog!

I'm exactly the same OP! If I could guarantee to be truly by myself I wouldn't worry one bit - but I can't guarantee that (obviously). I therefore don't go - even DP is there I am fine. I don't think I'll conquer this fear now (mid fifties).

Don't discount the retired, either - they have the best stories and there's something to be said for being the youngest. I love going on music courses and being treated as 'the young one' at 47. I teach teenagers and feel like a fossil much of the time.

I’m exactly the same, and it annoys me that I can’t feel free enough to do it, but I can’t relax on my own..and I have a dog!
I wait until we can all go-dp, dog and toddler, I never feel worried at all then.
I’ve tried even just with my dog and dd, but I turned back when we came to the real ‘Woods’ part.

I don't like it either OP. We live in a tiny rural village and the only way my youngest will nap is when I push the pram through the very bumpy, very deserted woods. My eldest also likes going to look at the flowers and climb trees. It's very picturesque, but makes me incredibly nervous. A man got killed there a few decades ago and the killer was never caught, and this always plays on my mind, although quiet country lanes and woodland always make me nervous anyway. Odd, as I have always lived rurally.

Rape doesn't worry me, it's the fear of being murdered, or somebody taking the baby. I always take my husbands penknife in one pocket and a rape alarm in the other. I'm usually very level headed and know the chances of anything happening are slim to none, but I still don't like walking around the countryside alone.

Mine isn’t avout breaking a leg etc, as there are other walkers sometimes..it’s jyst about the possibility of a dodgy man. Although I was wanker at in the woods when I was 24, when coming off a beach, I think I’d still be like this hadn’t that happened though.
I don’t like to be alone in taxis with a man either etc.

*Wanked at