Serious? Do men know the slightest about women

[Gothamgirl1970]

Posting here for traffic and opinions.

As it’s 3 am and I am posting it’s because I simply am perplexed and need the hive mind.
Dating apps: presumably a person joins up because they would like to meet someone for company, to find love, just a shag or probably 100 other reasons I can’t contemplate this late.
I’m not sure if this holds true for all age groups but what I’ve observed is in men 46-58. In the profile area you can post some photos if you wish. A lot of men do but write no bio which tells me nothing and essentially they are just a body.
Here’s my serious question. Approximately 60% of men with photos lead the opening photo of themselves In Lycra gear with a helmet and sunglasses on, a bit of mud displaying their bicycle with pride. In many cases all 3 photos will be man and bike. Mid flight, crossing some finish line etc.
I know lots of women who are also befuddled by why a man would think bike photos would interest any woman in him at all. Shouldn’t they put a photo that shows the face, and is in a friendly happy pose?
What is it these cycle mad men are trying to convey? I cycle most of the time so I won’t have any time to spend with you? I want a woman who will cycle with me ? Look at my bike it’s impressive? I look decent in Lycra?
Please help. My friends and I are dying to know why they do this and what they are trying to communicate and further who are they thinking they can attract with this?

AIBU to not have to look at literally hundreds of cycling photos?

They've been reading Mumsnet and know women love cyclists who will be away pursuing their hobby most of the weekend.

@Pleasebeafleabite thanks for your message. My husband was a 10 but I did not look for him he actually introduced himself to me I had never seen him before. The fact that he was a 10 made no odds to me. Here’s what did. I was raised in a cold emotionless loveless home. We were never hugged or praised by our parents. The household was also very strict and the first day of my life I was allowed to wear jeans was my first day of university in 1987. My husband saw this damaged highly intelligent completely insecure girl with very affluent parents and as the narcissist he was he honed in on me like a beacon and love bombed me. I felt seen for the first time in my life. I had no idea this was a planned relationship and I was narcissistic supply and my money was the real prize. This is what led me into my professional field.

I've just had a look at blokes in cycling shorts online and I take back the post about sneaky dick pics ... there is no way any man would want his dick presented in such a way (unless it was knee length or something).

@inickedyourbiro now I am in the loop with bike hierarchy!

[quote DancingCatGif]@speakout sadly I'd say that's true. There is a far larger proportion of normal, sane, attractive women than of men. All the normal men get picked up pretty early.

Millions of nice normal women on online dating, millions of oddball men.[/quote]
Bollocks

AIBU to not have to look at literally hundreds of cycling photos?
YANBU but see also all the women with pics of their cats, reams of text about their cats, pics of them on the balcony outside their room in magaluf (maldives if upmarket).
Women don't always know what men want either.

@Hingeandbracket why do you disagree

My male friend told me there is excessive cleavage on the men’s view

[quote Gothamgirl1970]@Hingeandbracket why do you disagree[/quote]
With what?

@Hingeandbracket

That's the experience of every woman I know. If yours is different, hurrah

@Hingeandbracket that there are normal women on old

The curse of the dreaded MAMIL. Show me a middle-aged man in lycra and I'd be headed in the opposite direction.

Sorry what is MAMIL?

Even less attractive is the photo of a grown-ass man (or woman tbh, but we're talking about men here) sticking their tongue out at the camera. I have never understood the "appeal" of this. Just no.

[quote Gothamgirl1970]@Pleasebeafleabite thanks for your message. My husband was a 10 but I did not look for him he actually introduced himself to me I had never seen him before. The fact that he was a 10 made no odds to me. Here’s what did. I was raised in a cold emotionless loveless home. We were never hugged or praised by our parents. The household was also very strict and the first day of my life I was allowed to wear jeans was my first day of university in 1987. My husband saw this damaged highly intelligent completely insecure girl with very affluent parents and as the narcissist he was he honed in on me like a beacon and love bombed me. I felt seen for the first time in my life. I had no idea this was a planned relationship and I was narcissistic supply and my money was the real prize. This is what led me into my professional field.[/quote]
I had some one ask me what I did for a living which is about 90% men who work in this field. He worked in a complimentary field, told me he didn’t believe me. I replied in 6 separate paragraphs each written in a different coding language from Python Ruby on Rails C# and a really obscure one called Drupal. He then blocked me! Hahahha

that was some free psychoanalysis. Signed Ms Gotham Consultant Psychiatrist

I'm confused by what your professional field is.

[quote Gothamgirl1970]@Hingeandbracket that there are normal women on old[/quote]
I didn't say there aren't - just that IMHO (and experience) sane women are as rare as sane men on OLD and neither group has any clue what will interest the other.
99% of OLD is full of flaky twats (of all known genders) with no idea what they want or if they even want anything at all.

Massive numbers writing about bikes, cats etc as if that means anything to the others.

You can tell an awful lot from a picture so be grateful they are telling you who they are. It's not hard to guess why a middle-aged man who thinks a bike and lycra defines him is single. He's telling you that you will only ever be a very distant second place to his hobby. Most of us non-MAMIL males don't like their sort either - they could bore the tits off a bull.

For what it's worth, I'll tell you what I gleaned from your two photos. I really liked your outfits (especially the top in the first photo). I liked what I could see of your decor and that along with your dress sense suggests to me you like clean classic styles. I guessed right that you were a professional based on the work toilets shot though I never guessed IT which would have had my heart skip a beat if I were single. None of that really tells me who you are though and that would require conversation. Looks are just the packaging. They are important but a turd in a Faberge egg is still just a turd and a diamond wrapped in brown paper will always be a diamond.

a turd in a Faberge egg is still just a turd and a diamond wrapped in brown paper will always be a diamond.
What about a diamond wrapped in a Faberge Egg?

Does old-fashioned off-line dating still exist? Asking for a friend!

GothamGirl Excessive shyness in young adults and lack of social contact is a maladaptive behaviour and requires therapy. They don’t grow into healthy adult males and wonderful husbands

This is spot on! Summaries it so well. I actually knew this guy's family and they all went on about him being shy as a young adult. He actually lets them think he is gay because he never introduces them to a girlfriend. When in reality, I don't think he has never been shy about using women for sex. He acts a part when it suits him and the rest of the time they shy act substitutes.

IceCreamSummer I didn’t realize that he was perfectly capable of being assertive and talking to people, but only if there was something in it for him, hence loads of female friends and men who looked up to him (very high achiever)

Again, the same (this guy has been in my life on and off for years). Its not a problem for such "shy guys" to get sex when it suits them, even though he can't sustain a relationship.

My one was quite interesting because he wasn't a high achiever, probably because he has a trust fund, but he has now set up a business which allows him to exploit his shy guy act to meet a large number of women (think performing arts related). So he actually now gets paid to meet a large number of mainly single, quite vulnerable women looking to take up a new hobby to cheer themselves up after a break up or to meet new friends, for example. Very predatory.

[quote Gothamgirl1970]@TomPinch

Excessive shyness in young adults and lack of social contact is a maladaptive behaviour and requires therapy. They don’t grow into healthy adult males and wonderful husbands[/quote]
So we are now talking about excessive shyness? You're moving the goalposts. I'm also surprised that someone who has published two books on the subject should be given to such generalizations. I honestly feel like you're making it up.

You are jamming individuals into your theory.

@katy1213

Does old-fashioned off-line dating still exist? Asking for a friend!

I met DP in kind of odd hybrid that tangentially involved OLD, but we went on real dates so yes it does.

@BillywilliamV

I suppose posing with a bike is slightly more enticing than posing with a set of golf clubs?

Surely what is important is the fact that he is hobby signalling, so you know that if you end up with him you have only yourself to blame when you are left holding the baby/shopping/cleaning fort every weekend and two evenings a week. Not to mention the three or four hobby holidays a year and the vast amount of specialist hobby clothing that will need to be purchased to do the hobby properly.