To quit breastfeeding now?

[hipsalips]

I have a three month old and have been EBF, and while a lot of the time its nice to breastfeed I am getting a bit worn down from it.

I'm debating stopping but feel very conflicted. On one hand I like it (sometimes), I know its good for my DD.

On the other hand I hate the clothes I need to wear, I find all the nursing clothes well dowdy, and would feel more like me if I stopped.

I'm planning to wean her at 6 months, would it be worth swapping to formula until then or would you stick with it, or combination feed to get the best of both worlds?

Lol at the comparison of formula to McDonalds. I do wish (some) people wouldn't spout such rubbish.
Formula is a nutritionally complete food for babies. McDonalds is empty calories.
Looking at a baby, you can't tell if they're FF or breastfed and formula doesn't damage their health. Eating fast food every day would very much damage your health.
This is such a stupid comparison.
I suppose I should've just let my baby starve though, since I had almost non existent supply.

OP, do what you feel is best. Breast milk is better, if you can give it and are happy to, but formula is a valid alternative. You're fortunate to have the choice. I wish clothes had been my biggest worry when trying to breastfeed.

@SideEyeing

A happy FF mum is more important to baby than a unhappy BF mum in my opinion.

To be fair I love McDonalds. Better that that weird lobster stir fry concoction anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

At 3 months you have done the hardest bit. In another 3 months the baby will feed a lot less often and more quickly, and it's a useful tool for things like illness and being away from home unsettled, right into the toddler years.
You also have the option of giving the odd bottle if you want to go out for a while - it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Perhaps try dropping one feed a day and replacing with a bottle of formula. (You may have to go out and let your partner give the bottle).
Definitely don't feel guilty about whatever you choose.

@Temp123999 she said she doesn’t agree with formula feeding. Some women don’t have the choice but to formula feed either due to low supply, illness, baby not latching, medication, being in an abusive relationship. The comment about not agreeing with FF was very judgy and unnecessary.
Breast is better than FF of course but actually, the baby getting fed is better regardless of if that comes from a breast or a bottle

I want McDonalds badly now 😂

OP - whether you continue bf or swap to ff, your baby will continue to thrive. You need to do what is best for you - whatever you decide will be the best decision for you and your baby.

Both bf and ff give babies an excellent start in life so you won’t be going wrong with whatever you do. You can’t tell the difference between who is bf and ff.

Ignore @Temp123999 - she isn’t you and your baby. I ff from day one by choice, healthy babies and happy parents. Ff is very easy and everything was straightforward.

Btw - I hate lobster but love a McD’s!

Breastfeeding my 3 month old here right now

I formula fed DC1, this time round breastfeeding is far easier.

I r bought a few Bshirts so my clothes are generally the same as before and haven’t bothered with any frumpy nursing items

It’s cheaper (even when I factor in the money spent on Bshirts and nipple cream).
It takes less time, I’m not faffing with bottles.
Sleep is better this time round too

Yes my exclusively breastfed baby sleeps better than my formula fed one (because every child is different )

@Temp123999 please send the link for the research that demonstrates your lobster/McDonald’s comparison. Breast milk may be better than formula but your comparison is not factual.
Sometimes (often) what is best for mum is best for the baby; a baby breastfeeding from a stressed unhappy mum which a baby can sense is not necessarily better than formula feeding from a calm happy mum

I'm an idiot because I don't agree with you, okay the scientific research always comes down on the side of breastfeeding

Actually it doesn’t. Suggest you do some more comprehensive research

I can’t believe in this day and age there are still women out there making bitchy comments about FF. it’s absolutely shameful.

Nursing clothes are 100% unnecessary, so that seems like a bizarre reason to stop to me (I mean each to their own, but you asked on AIBU so...). Unless your pre-baby wardrobe consists entirely of high necklines and fabric with no stretch or buttons then there will be options suitable for feeding.
I have breastfed two children into todderhood and the only nursing clothes I owned were nursing/maternity combo styles that were bought for pregnancy.

That being said, if you want to stop, then do so. It's your body, your choice. You don't need validation from strangers on the Internet to do so (and the judgement that will come with it from some).

Personally with my first the thought of stopping at 3 months, after the battle we had to get BF established at all, just wouldn't have crossed my mind. Also I am very lazy and disorganised so bottle feeding seemed like way too much faff compared to an ever ready supply that was always with me (DC1 was combi fed for a few weeks after birth so I do have experience making bottles).

But we are all different and I would never advocate breastfeeding at the cost of maternal wellbeing. If you are finding that it isn't working for you, I would absolutely say look at alternatives. Just make sure you are making an informed choice (AIBU may not be the best place for that!).

OP, whatever you do make it YOUR choice.

FWIW, I have never once looked at the children in my classes and thought ‘ah yes, you weren’t breastfed, were you, that’s why you’ve caught that cold/put on some puppy fat/are struggling with column subtraction’ 🤔

@hipsalips I started combination feeding DC1 at this point as I felt similar to you. I really found formula feeding a hassle, as you had to plan ahead. If you do go ahead, I had a little keyring of foldaway scissors which I kept on my keys. They were perfect for opening the little emergency packets of preprepared Aptimil, when I was caught short. (Which was often!)

For the next 3DC, I EBF. I just found it so much easier.

You are at the point where everything will settle down. And I never wore breastfeeding tops, but BF bras were essential.

From on their 1st birthday, I gave them cows milk.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hello!

@Temp123999 owns hands of hair I suspect. Advanced search is always useful to spot ze stirrers of shite.

If you do decide to continue OP then dump the breastfeeding specific clothes. Autumn/winter is much easier as you will be layering anyway. Theres a facebook group called 'Can I Breastfeed in It?' Which I found useful. I've fed both of mine and definitely found it easier after 3/4 months. The feeds get shorter/less frequent, especially once you start weaning. That said, don't feel pressured to continue by anyone. It's your choice and you need to decide what works for you and baby.

Hi OP, I feel you on the clothes front. I was/am quite fashionable and into clothes. I e had more than one melt down because I can't wear what I'd used to (due to BF or quite frankly my new/current size) and felt like a shadow of myself.

I've bought nice pretty bras from Hot Milk (about £35), some Spanx to give me my shape back without the wobbles when I'm wearing tight things, I bought jeans in a size up so I was comfortable that fit well. For me it was worth the money to get good fitting jeans (despite the cost and the fact I'd gone up sizes more than I'd care to admit)

Again as many have said, I wear button down shirts or dresses, or wrap dresses a lot, or stick a cheapo cami under my top/jumper etc so I have easy access. I've also bought some nice bits from seraphine which aren't dowdy. And some feeding too basics fromH&M like vest tops or long sleeved tops with double layers. Good morning quality and cheap.

Whilst yeah right now I can't wear my high necked body con dresses, I still (in my opinion) look nice, well put together and not "dowdy" at all. I make sure I wear nice shoes/heels and always do my hair and make up (if going out, cba with that crap if I'm staying in - it's joggers slippers and mum bun all the way).

Might be vain, but that all makes me feel like me.

My go to outfits;
Wrap or button down midi dress with trainers for casual or heels for out for meals etc
Jeans and linen shirt (joules), normal shirt or T-shirt and jeans/boots
Midi skirt and vest top/T-shirt and trainers or heeled sandals
And sadly recently despite it being effing August: Jeans and a god damn jumper (with a v light cami underneath), trainers or boots.

HOWEVER - if you want to stop BF go for it, some great options available to you including as you know expressing, FF or combo. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, your body, your baby, and fed is best. Happy mum equals happy baby. And if you would be happier in your old clothes to feel like you, then that's fine!

Some of the replies on here have really pissed me off, but il not derail the thread again.

I CHOSE to formula feed. I have no underlying issues, no reason not to breast feed other than I DIDN'T WANT TO. End of story. I have never felt guilty or second guessed it as it was my choice. DD is 1 and healthy and happy.

Op honestly you get get all the advice in the world but honestly you need to go with what YOU WANT.
What ever you feel you need to do is fine. You want to keep breastfeeding, great, is you want to formula feed, great or mix it up with both. As long as its your decision and that your not guilted or swayed into any choice.

And for what it's worth lobster is disgusting, get me a big mac any day.

AND I've also fed DD mcdonalds. She fuckin loved it.

Also - I'm EBF my 11 week old and currently "enjoying" the challenges of mastitis! So I understand the want to stop BF. But I'm quite honestly too lazy to do FF. hands down to those who do it!

OP - if you do decide to swap to formula, I recommend getting a perfect prep. Makes feeding so easy and hassle free.

No such thing as special BF clothes when mine were little. You just wore your normal clothes.

Hi op, I was having a similar issue when my ds was about 5 months. I was due to go back to work and the lack of decent nursing friendly clothes really depressed me! It sounds superficial, but at a certain point you just fancy feeling more like yourself.

As someone with bigger boobs, I don't do button up tops and I found a lot of my existing clothes restrictive. I'd obviously gained some weight/changed shape, so things didn't fit in the way they did before. A pp suggested going through your wardrobe and getting out stuff you can feed in. That's a good place to start and you'll probably find you can tweak some of your existing stuff. H&m have really stepped it up with bf stuff this year and they're quite reasonably priced.

Of course if you get your wardrobe nailed and still don't want to continue, then you don't have to. But I'd agree that you've cracked the hard part and 3-6 months for us was plain sailing. He's now 9 months and basically self weaned (which I didn't even know was a thing).

TL:DR try and short your wardrobe and then make the choice, don't let your clothes choose for you.

So what's best for you OP, I struggled a bit at this stage with BF for various reasons but also because I was really ready to get back to being "me"- spending time away from baby and wearing fashionable clothes.

In the end I decided to carry on for personal reasons, and found alternatives to the freedom that formula gives in pumping and finding really nice wrap dresses which were very handy to show off my massive breastfeeding boobs.

It's worth noting that there are benefits to continuing breastfeeding, however formula is the better choice if it comes down to a supply issue or if you're really struggling. At the end of the day, you need to do what's best for your family.

I breast fed my first until he was 2.5 years old and my second until he was just under 3 years old.

With my first I spent a fortune on breast feeding clothes, but with my second I just wore my normal clothes with a strappy vest top underneath.

When I had to feed I would just pull the vest too down so my breast would fall out over it, and then pull up whatever outer garment I was. It was really discreet and simple.

I fed my children consecutively, so 5.5 years of breast feeding and I don’t regret any of it.

When my second baby was 9 weeks old he was diagnosed with a dairy allergy and after almost two months of me going dairy free I was really struggling and started trying him with prescription formula. I felt unhappy about it but I felt so worn down by trying to remove all dairy from my diet and how completely run down I felt as a result. Anyhow, I tried him with bottles and formula and he point blank refused them and so I was left with no option but to continue going dairy free and continue breast feeding.

In hindsight I’m really glad he refused the bottles and formula because I know that further down the line I would have been really upset if I had given up with the breast feeding.

In some ways, for some women, choosing to breast feed does come with some sacrifices but it’s only for such a short time.

If you want to stop then stop, that’s absolutely your choice, just make sure it’s something you really want to do and not something you will regret further down the line.

Look up the B Shirt, they are breastfeeding vests you put on under your ordinary clothes so that you can just wear your normal wardrobe (dresses aside of course).

The first 3-6 months of bf are the hardest. Once you introduce solids it gets easier. I was adamant I was only going to 6-9 months but ended up feeling til my daughter was almost 3. You've done the hard yards, so it might be worth seeing how you feel when you get to 6 months. Bottles and formula are a right faff.

I would assume that the OP does, in fact, agree with FF as she is considering switching to it at three months because her wardrobe is bothering her!

Or perhaps she meant that she doesn't really agree with FF when BF is established and going really well. Because, under those circumstances, it does seem a bit mad to be considering switching to a food that isn't as optimal and requires a fuck load of equipment and preparation and lost sleep (wrangling a sobbing baby while boiling kettles and waiting for water to cool instead of just rolling over a sticking a boob into their mouth).

Breast milk is better than artificial milk. But breastfeeding is not always better than formula feeding. It depends on the circumstances. Why do so many people insist on taking such a black and white view of this issue?

OP, do whatever is best for you but don't look back and regret weaning from the boob early just because you wanted to wear other clothes. Stretchy vest under normal clothes works a treat and you don't have to wear nursing bras once milk supply is established. I gave up mine after a few weeks and went back to normal ones, just pulling down the cups to feed.