To quit breastfeeding now?

[hipsalips]

I have a three month old and have been EBF, and while a lot of the time its nice to breastfeed I am getting a bit worn down from it.

I'm debating stopping but feel very conflicted. On one hand I like it (sometimes), I know its good for my DD.

On the other hand I hate the clothes I need to wear, I find all the nursing clothes well dowdy, and would feel more like me if I stopped.

I'm planning to wean her at 6 months, would it be worth swapping to formula until then or would you stick with it, or combination feed to get the best of both worlds?

I found 4 months was a turning point for me that it wasnt so laborious

Couldn't be bothered with formula and I don't really agree with it tbh

Weird that you don’t agree that all babies deserve to be fed.

I didn't wear nursing clothes either, just a vest top and top over it.

Do whatever works for you. I combination fed and it very worked for me, it is often discouraged but it saved breastfeeding for me. Other mums BF or FF only and it worked for them. It doesn't have to be either/or. As long as you BF at regular intervals, you could combination feed instead of switching to FF? Or you can switch to FF if you prefer? Or carry on BF. It's a personal choice, there isn't a right or wrong answer.

@Horehound which aspect of formula feeding do you not agree with?

@hipsalips
Out of interest, how does it get easier? Does something in particular change

For me - we both got better at it. Baby stopped bopping around (used to drive me spare). He got faster too so feeds didnt take so long. I stopped getting lumps and bumps as my body started making the amount he needed. At about 3 mths it got way easier. By about 6 mths it was seamless. I still hated it at times. But it wasnt in any way awkward.

As to giving up. Your body, your baby. I dont care much for the judgment involved in bf either way (and it does run both ways... If I had a pound for every comment about how icky extended bf is...).

By the way, if yours is anything like mine, food wont at all take away from how much bf you ll need to do. I d say mine was a good yr by the time he reduced feeds and ate more.

If its only the clothes thing, that wouldnt have been enough to outweigh the good points. Im no bf evangelical but i do believe it is better for babies. And there are advantages for women too. Once you get bf down, you can feed while half asleep. The baby gets more efficient so doesnt take long. Also i lost a lot of the baby weight through bf.

Keep at it. You have changes in your attitude every 3 months as your body comes back to normal. It'll get easier over the next few months. Your supply will increase again as baby starts to crawl. Overall, your boobs will stabilise.

Get these vests <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0534164001.html&ved=2ahUKEwjYm5z93L7rAhUEi1wKHcClDhIQFjAAegQIBxAB&usg=AOvVaw3Bkc2mhVqriedEe2ozfFoJ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0534164001.html&ved=2ahUKEwjYm5z93L7rAhUEi1wKHcClDhIQFjAAegQIBxAB&usg=AOvVaw3Bkc2mhVqriedEe2ozfFoJ

I use them as nightwear vests plus under my tips for BF. I live in these when BF. Small size now for sleeping, medium size for when wearing nursing bra underneath.

Babies love to BF. It will eventually take less time.

Mine is 9 months and I only feed a few times a day. He eats lots now so doesn't need it as much.

Wear normal clothes. Nice top with maternity jeans and nursing vest underneath to hide the tummy.

Remember, time spent sitting BF and chilling is nature's way of making you slow down to enjoy baby 😁

Didn’t take long for the bollocks ‘I don’t agree with formula’ comments to start. What don’t you agree with? Choice? An option for a baby whose mother can’t feed/doesn't want to feed/has died? Would you rather mothers developed MH conditions from the pressure or that babies died because there was nothing for them? Catch yourself on... 🤨

It would be a shame to quit now as you’ve put in all the hard graft and you’re about to hit easy street.

On the other hand it is entirely up to you.

Oh and the two tops method.

LOL at not "agreeing with formula". WTAF.

It does get sooo much easier as you go along, in my experience anyway. Feeds are faster, baby gets so efficient at getting what they need. Plus it’s such an easy way to comfort them when teething starts (my only real parenting skill!). The calories you burn off are not unsubstantial too (countered by all the cake I ‘need’ to eat...)
I totally get what you mean about the clothes, I still miss all my old non-breastfeeding-friendly clothes. But they’ll be there waiting. Invest in some nice breastfeeding friendly tops if you can. The Facebook group Can I Breastfeed in it UK is a lovely place and made me realise I can wear ‘normal’ clothes.

Baby feeding is such an emotive topic. The only answer is what you want. Try not to feel guilty whatever you decide because it really doesn't matter as long as the baby is fed. I've breastfed my first for 6 months now and I agree that it got easier after 3 months. As of recently, baby feeds x4 a day and once in the night. Baby latches effortlessly and feeds for maybe 10mins. Personally I find it v convenient and am not keen to start the bottle faff. I just wear normal clothes that I pull down or up. If your baby hasn't had a bottle, there may be some resistance but persevere with one bottle every day and they will eventually go with it (so I've read). Good luck.

It does get easier, particularly as your DC starts to wean. Mine didn't want to feed as much after they started to eat food, and BFing in puci was impossible after 6mo as the DC themselves no longer settled to feed while we were out.
Also, bin the breastfeeding clothes. I found a vest top under a looser top best - top up, vest down.

On the clothes front, I ordered some nursing bras online that were 'proper' nice bras and wore feeding vest tops from H&M. I then wore my normal tops. I felt much better and more like myself. However it's fine to combo feed or switch if you want.

*in public

I fed both money til 20 months +

I'm not sure ot was worth it to be honest. I didnt have a lot of choice as they were both bottle / cup refuses til they were older

But I felt so tied down and trapped. It was mentally hard and I resented feeling like the only person that could feed them.

Looking back I'm not sure if it was beneficial to them or not, obviously there are studies but on an individual level I was resentful and stressed.

Just do whatever you think is best. They won't give a shit when they are older and it's likely you wint either so not worth stressing yourself out over.

I was unable to feed dd1 due to a medical condition which made it impossible. Thank goodness for formula. I very much agree with it.

It does get easier, less feeds, quicker feeds more convenient than bottles out n about/at night but make sure baby will accept a bottle (sorry if I missed this) mine at 3 months wouldn’t and still won’t at 7, I’m working on a cup/sippy cup for nursery when he goes at 10/11 months

This is such a personal decision, OP. Only you can make it. You already seem to be informed enough to make the right decision for you and your family.
Whichever path you choose I wish you luck

Sorry pressed too soon , I found ds1 easier who would take a bottle from 3weeks old and had 1per day until he self weaned at 5 months. I’m dreading weaning ds2 especially as I have a time limit returning to work.

Just to add - I BF until DS was nearly two and once 5 - 6 months hit, I found it so easy and enjoyable even! But we are all different

I read that you'd be most likely to have saggy boobs stopping at 3 or 4 months and my vanity got me to 5 months!

By this time it had gotten so easy (i'm lazy too) I stuck with it for an extra 11 months.

(boobs never did get saggy either, so maybe the internet was right!)

As others have said, do what suits you. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone.

That said:

• you don't need special clothes for breastfeeding, even with bras you can just pull normal ones down
• they feed less often and with more predictability as you go on
• it's a really handy baby silencer!
• weaning doesn't happen overnight, it takes ages for them to eat much
• your baby might have his own ideas about switching to formula!

Good luck with whatever you decide! There's a book called Crib sheet that goes over the evidence on breastfeeding - it's better for your baby but the benefit is often exaggerated. Your baby will be fine either way, so don't agonise over it!

I think you should do what's best for you. Your baby will be happy and fed whatever happens. I loathed bf for the first four months or so.. It got easier at 6m when she weaned and now I only really feed four or five times per 24h period (she's nearly 9m). The emotional toll of being the only feeder was huge and physically I had an absolutely shite start but I do feel pleased I stuck with it. She's starting nursery now and I'm sending formula into nursery but continuing bf at home.

One thing I would say is if you do decide to ebf, do express and find a bottle she'll take NOW before you find yourself in the situation I did where you need to be away and they absolutely won't take one at 8 or 9 months when the stubborn streak is. Well established. Obviously if you combi feed from this point onwards that will happen anyway.

It gets easier in that baby kinda does on their own . They dont need help latching on as much.

Also they dont feed as often. My DD from about 6 months only fed morning, twice in the day, bedtime and once in the night. Now at 9 months she doesnt feed as often during the day.

I found breastfeeding helped to settle baby when they are teething or not well or if something has frightened them. More uses than just food.

If you are struggling to sit up you can lie down on your side and hold baby to you to let baby feed... bit like a mummy pig just with one baby and not 5 or 6.

During night feeds I have a comfortable chair in the nursery. I dont turn on any lights (use a night light) so baby doesnt fully wake and learns that its night time. Both of mine have always settled after a night feed straight away no matter how many feeds I have had to do.

With the clothes I also suggest vest tops underneath. If I stay in I wear leggings and a vest top with a tshirt. If I go out I can put Jean's on or similar.

However do what's best for you. It is hard work at times and sometimes it does feel like baby is attached all the time.

Personally I quite like the late nights sitting alone on my phone feeding baby it is nice just the two of us in our quiet bliss.

Also all babies are different and so are mums. I never had any issues feeding in public and the other day I sat on a display chair in the middle of ikea to settle my girl.

Dont let it take over your life. Let it become part of the rhythm. In a weird way your boobs will tell you by the cry if its boob baby wants. Mine always tingle when I heard a certain cry.

Sorry and finally... if it matters to you... I always counted up how much money and time I was saving not having to buy and make up formula