My lockdown life exactly the same as my normal life

[OtissReadingtoomuch]

Anyone else noticed their lockdown life is pretty much representative of their normal life? I didn't hear from anyone prior to lockdown, and that is not unusual. Don't hear from anyone now either!

Have work colleagues, and "mum" friends, arranged with all of them to do garden meet up's in the summer hols. ( at mine , as usual and at my expense as always, because i never get invited anywhere as i am chintzy and house proud and people assume i will judge their homes even though i never have... nor ever will. ) If i do not organise socials , no one will , ones that i am party to anyway.

We are all fit as fiddles , no shielding family issues at all. I kept in contact since March, if i don't text, waiting for someone to take the initiative, no one bothers. All the summer garden meet-ups i was really depending on for social interaction, not happened. No one has contacted me to arrange. I have not followed up as i do not want to appear desperate and clingy.

I have been on my own now, with my youngest DC since, March. No family as i am NC, and i moved to a new area 9 yrs ago where everyone has their own friends and and family. I have been into work but i am not from around here and i clearly do not fit in, despite my best efforts and respect of local traditions.

I found lockdown a great leveller, but lockdown has ended now and i am still in "lockdown". I know i need to move back to my hometown but i cannot do that for at least 3 yrs due to youngest critical years schooling.

How can i continue to live a lockdown style life for another 3 yrs? I have effectively done it for 9 yrs already and i am getting older. How do i cope with another 3 yrs lockdown?

Not NY, I meant My. Typo. I wish i was i was living NY life!!!

Sounds a bit crappy is it just you and the kids. Once the kids are back to school you could take time to pursue more of what you enjoy. Forget about others for now. An exercise class. A new hobby, art project and then when your ready reconnect. Dont take to heart what has happened in lockdown its been such a strange time for lots of peope and doesnt reflect badly on you as a person.

No mine has totally changed and not for the better. I'm overseas and borders closed unable to visit friends and family in the UK and Australia. Trip to Australia in February looks like it will be cancelled. Three potential flights to London have been cancelled.

I have serious medical conditions and tests have been postponed. Work is boring. But I have my job for now.

I wd say move. It is better fro child to be in a happy home with a happy mother than have a continuous school experience. Another lockdown might mess up DC's schooling anyway. If you can - please move. You saound nice and shouldn't be unhappy. Not everyone fits everywhere.

@tootiredtospeak thank you for your reply. I have done all the classes, volunteer in village and i am part of a walking group and also work full time during term time. There is nothing else i can do.

It really is just very lonely for me here. I have no choice but to stay for another 3 yrs for youngest DC to finish sch.

I have basically had 9 yrs of lockdown, again no social interaction , in this real lockdown. I have watched the villagers knock on windows and doors, for neighbours and those they have known decades. I have lived here 9 yrs. No one knocked on my door or window. We are ok because i have ensured me and my Dc are ok. *
*
I know the next the 3yrs will be the same. No one realises i am so alone ( i have told them how alone I am).

I am asking now how i cope with another 3 yrs of "lockdown" and by that i mean no friends. Friends who are not bothered as they have not known me long enough to be invested in me up here and old friends not willing to travel.

My long term friends cannot be arsed to come here as its an hours journey away. I am on my own clearly, that is evident from last 9 years and covid, i need coping techniques.

I am clearly going to be spending the remaining 3 yrs without friends/neighbours/colleague support. I have not heard from anyone since March, even though i msg'd them. I am not messaging anymore.

I understand people are busy but geez i am so alone!

I feel your pain op. My life never really changed either

@FirstOfficerDouglas I cannot move as youngest in critical sch yrs and wants to stay. I am putting DC first and trapped.

I need to cope with another 3 yrs lockdown. I have had no social life last 9 yrs, i need to cope with next 3 . I just feel angry that what is some peoples tempraary

Posted too soon!

Wanted to say , what is some peoples lockdown life , is others daily life.

I think people need to consider their friends circumstances. Their colleagues circumstances. Their neighbours circumstances.

Some people are very alone and they just need an hour of your time. I have not had anyones time. I have managed to fill my time.

@Deadposhtory you are welcome to talk on this thread.

All kinds of conversation welcome here.

OP I feel for you. That sounds tough.

I'm not completely alone but I also often feel lonely. I do have friends but feel like I'm quite low down the pecking list for most of them, especially compared to where they are on mine. To make it worse my husband has few friends and is an introvert and my children between them have two real friends so that doesn't widen my social circle at all. However I somehow give the illusion of being busy and popular. I bet you're not the only lonely one where you live.

I didn’t notice lockdown much either tbh. I went to work throughout as usual and I don’t go out much anyway so staying in wasn’t any different.
I haven’t got lots of friends either but am not alone. Sorry you are OP.

So sorry OP to hear this. Sometimes we are all too wrapped up in ourselves to realise when people are lonely.
I am lucky not to be lonely but that doesn't mean all is great - far, far from it.

We do always put our DC first and so we should but they can be more resilient than we think. (I didn't leave DP or the family home because I thought it would devastate the DC. When I eventually did they were fine about it and said they wished we'd done it sooner)

However - only you know your situation. And I am so sorry to hear that you are so unhappy.

You're not alone OP. My lock down life is basically the same too. In fact you sound very similar to me. I've been where I am for a decade and it's only half an hour from my home town. I do get pretty down about no one in contacting me. I have been sending LOADS of texts and messages to people and have had only about a twenty per cent response rate and every single one was polite with no follow up.
I've taken to reading A LOT. I'm also doing a free online course which requires a lot of studying, essay writing etc. I've joined some (lots!) of Facebook groups of various types from arty ones to TV show fan groups to activist groups to home brewing! It does help.

My life was similar in lockdown or better in that I didn't work 12 hour days for months.I saw DS dh and dm much more than normal.I don't have friends out of work or time to keep up with anyone.I didn't miss anything tbh.

Thank you all for your lovely replies. It is good to know i am not alone. We all seem to be coping as best we can. It is very encouraging to read your replies.

My life is the same (Apart from not being able to visit my family this year at all) but weirdly I feel better and happier for it.

Yes. Mine was very similar - I’m certainly not the social butterfly I used to be.

@DDIJ The way i am looking at this is now is that i didn't actually "miss out" on anything. In fact, i
did a load of games and
sports with the DC, diy in the house and the shuzzed my garden. My lockdown life was actually better than better than my non lockdown life.

I need to fill my non lockdown life now we are getting back to normal. I need to fill the void that others fill with social activities and interactions. I am determined to not feel sorry for myself anymore. I am going to fill my time albeit alone.

Why don't you volunteer to meet other people and/or at least keep busy? I do a lot of volunteering and managed to keep doing most of it through lockdown, I know I have got a few neighbours who are lonely and would love a chat but by the time I have finished work, done my volunteering (plus the accompanying admin part of it) I am tired and just want to have time to myself. I have often said to some of my neighbours why don't you get involved in XYZ volunteering project but all they seem to want to do is have cups of tea and chat about nothing.

Maybe I am being unkind but there are so many opportunities to get involved in your community, I get that it is a little harder during Covid but there are lots of new initiatives around.

You’ve described my life too, pre and post lockdown. Lived here 11 years and made superficial friends. Mainly school mums, but none close enough to bother with me. Nobody has messaged me even once, no meet-ups that included me. This is my life and it’s very lonely.

@Ragwort i have done all that, i also work. I am not missing acquaintances. I am missing someone/people that genuinely love and care about me. People who pick their phone up and txt me, wonder how i am , care that i am ok. People who will knock on my door or my window to ask how me and DC are . I am the only person that i can see , not only from social media but looking out my window , who has gone out to get their own groceries week in week out since March. Even a pint of milk would have meant a lot to me.

I am well controlled asthmatic but been hospitalised twice in last 5 yrs due to serious chest infections in winter and areas of infections on my lungs,first 2014 and last in 2017. Never been in hospital all my life before these 2 occasions so no sick note by any means. Everyone knows as everyone saw the ambulances take me to hospital, twice. Everyone knows i have asthma, everyone knows i am a single parent, no ones bothered.

That is what hurts. No one cares enough about me and i guess lockdown has just made feel very alone.

Take this as feedback, but you sound pretty salty. Have you emailed/called your friends and said ‘hey, I’m really struggling and very lonely. Can I come round?’

You say people think you are chintzy and judgy. Maybe there is a vibe you give off that you don’t need people. Maybe be more open, show your vulnerability.

You don’t need to beg, cry or be ‘woo is me’ just be honest and ask them for more contact, that you need a. Rutch to get through lockdown and the next couple of years.

Right now you are presuming to know what people think and falling into victim mentality.

Be open, tell people what you need from them.

*woe is me