To think attending this wedding is a bad idea

[frillyfarmer]

Friends' wedding was postponed in May due to Covid, rearranged for end October.

I'd just sort of assumed with the general shitstorm of Covid, and with the laws surrounding gatherings of more than 30 people, this would be postponed again, but we received an email today confirming they are still going ahead.

The church service will be just them and immediate family, as per the rules. The reception is to be held privately (they're landowners) for 160 people. All of our friends are going - they're really looking forwards to a good kick back and a party after months of us not seeing one another.

I feel like we will be missing out on all the fun but I just don't think I can feel comfortable breaking the rules like that, especially considering the fines for attending illegal gatherings.

My husband has said he is happy to either go or not go depending on what I think. We are low risk, healthy in our 30s leading very isolated lifestyle by design as we're farmers. I'm a SAHM to two preschool aged children. My biggest concern is ending up on the front of the daily mail like the house parties in Manchester...

Would you go?

I’d definitely fancy it, but would have reservations, and it sounds as though you’re erring on the side of not going. A shame they couldn’t wait until things are more relaxed, as it sounds like a great do.

I would be forwarding that email to the local police, so they can have a word ahead of time.

@Aridane HIGH five ... me too. Mass hysteria for no reason.

I wouldn't. There's damn good reasons why gatherings of this size are illegal at the moment. How would you feel if you were exposed to COVID at this do and then passed infection to someone who ended up dead or seriously ill....

I think you know the answer. It really doesnt matter if it's legal or not but 160 people gathering closely together will be unsafe, presumably sharing toilets that arent being cleaned thoroughly in between, I'm doubting there will be hand sanitizer available or people wearing masks, alcohol lowering people's awareness etc. There is no way this will be a safe event. Unless you are going to completely self isolate for 2weeks afterwards - shopping delivered with no contact, no visiting (even with social distancing) grandparents or family, no stopping on the way home to fuel the car, no visits from the vet for the farm or any contact whatsoever with suppliers, then you have to accept the fact that you will be possibly be responsible for making someone very ill or worse.
My DH and both our fathers are in the vulnerable category due to medical conditions. I think someone people think because of that they should just shut themselves away or do the decent thing and die just so everyone can carry on enjoying themselves. We also have a small baby. If covid didn't kill my DH I dont think I'd cope very well if we were sick and trying to parent him while being unable to get outside support. The only person other than our parents I'd trust to mind him is heavily pregnant. I dont have a choice to be flippant about getting covid- you feel like it wont be a big deal but please, please think of others - we are depending on others to be safe,be sensible in order to keep us safe. We have self isolated and restricted our movements for months but being careful only works if everybody else is too. I hate what life is like right now,I'd love to kick back with my friends but this will not last forever, the consequences for others being irresponsible will be ever lasting in some families but we will be able to dance and drink with friends again if we all do our bit. I like the quote from Seamus heaney "If we winter this one out, we can summer anywhere"

Doubtful.
If the police did turn up though I think it would be the organisers that got into trouble. Not you.
But anyway. Any sensible couple would have broadly two options- scale it down a LOT or wait (potentially quite a long time)

I wouldn’t go.

It’ll certainly be a wedding to remember if someone dies of corona but it’s one less thank you card to write.

I'd accept and see what the R rate in the locality is nearer the time

@rainkeepsfallingdown

Apart from anything else, if you're farmers, aren't you a bit screwed if you both catch Covid?

All the farmers I've ever known have not been able to take time off from their farms, given the nature of the work... If you both get sick at the same time, is there someone available to look after the farm?

This! DH & I were supposed to be going to a big summer wedding, postponed to the autumn, now postponed to 2021 because the B&G are from a farming family and so are many of the guests.

I absolutely wouldn’t go, no.

And if the guidance is the same in October about max number of people at gatherings then I’m not sorry to say I’d ring the police to report it too. 160 people in a frigging marquee?!

I've declined an invite to a birthday party of 40 odd people.
It's not the same as going to a pub, as pubs are supposed to have social distancing measures in place and if you go to one are supposed to be in a party of 6, I believe ideally from only 2 households.

Going to a party means mixing in close proximity with lots of different households, probably hugging, shaking hands and standing in huddles talking.
Not worth the risk to me.

I'd not feel comfortable going with that many people. Even 30 feels quite a lot - I'm going to a wedding next month with 25/30 people - and that's allowed. 160 isn't.
I'd also feel anxious about someone making a complaint and being there when police arrived, etc. I'd be paranoid about being photographed as part of it and ending up on social media and someone finding out - I teach so would be likely be slammed over it.

Well young people are expected to go to school in 'bubbles' of 260, and teachers to teach multiple 'bubbles' of 260 and apparently this is all perfectly fine so I'm surprised so many people are saying no don't go it's too dangerous.

This also concerns me but it's also a reason why I wouldn't want to go. Although I will be teaching in a school with more pupils than this wedding I'd really rather not risk having myself photographed at an 'illegal' gathering and everyone seeing! Especially as I have voiced my thoughts over the ridiculousness of the school bubble system.

Whether you go is up to you, but I hope the bride and groom have a spare £10,000 set aside because that's the fine now for unlawful gatherings on this scale – the new law actually comes in today. I can't believe they are risking it, let alone their guests.

In case anyone wants to see the small print:

No way!

@Longwhiskers14

Whether you go is up to you, but I hope the bride and groom have a spare £10,000 set aside because that's the fine now for unlawful gatherings on this scale – the new law actually comes in today. I can't believe they are risking it, let alone their guests.

This wedding gathering is not illegal @Longwhiskers14

The bride and groom will not get fined £10,000.

Manolin Er, this one is. Wedding are currently capped at 30 guests for a sit-down reception. A reception with 160 constitutes an unlawful gathering under the new legislation the Govt rushed in today, even if it's held outdoors.

Can you link to the legislation please.

@Manolin

Can you link to the legislation please.

www.gov.uk/government/news/tougher-fines-ahead-of-bank-holiday-to-crack-down-on-illegal-gatherings

You might want to read this too.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-53819633

A wedding on the scale the OP is describing would come under an unlawful gathering.

No, that is not legislation. It does make a qualification of "illegal events" which indicates some events are not illegal.

The latest legislation I can find on gatherings is not after 25/07/2020

A gathering outside on private land, not a dwelling and not public outdoor space, is not illegal according to the No2 Act. Articles and guidance are not law.

@Manolin

No, that is not legislation. It does make a qualification of "illegal events" which indicates some events are not illegal.

The latest legislation I can find on gatherings is not after 25/07/2020

Okay, that link didn't explain it clearly but it's a new criminal offence that's been brought in under the Health Protection Act (Coronavirus Regulations) 2020 which itself was introduced because of Covid. So it's very much legislation that would deem this wedding as being unlawful.

uk.practicallaw.thomsonreuters.com/w-027-1998?transitionType=Default&contextData=(sc.Default)&firstPage=true

@Longwhiskers14

What this new law seems to do is bring both the premises owner and the organiser into the scope of the fine. It also removes attendees - something that was not previously made clear. Otherwise, as far as I can see a gathering on private land, not a dwelling/garden etc, and not public outdoor space, is still legal. The new rules do not seem to affect that. Crazy as it seems!