Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Original poster

...to think this is vile behaviour from a vet?

289 replies

ReluctantRenegade · 27/08/2020 19:20

Hi all,

I'm very upset as I type this and desperately need some advice. The situation is my cat's 17 and has a few chronic health conditions including kidney (stage 2 at last blood analysis a few months ago) and heart disease. He had two seizures about a week ago which I think were caused by the hot weather as he was struggling to keep cool despite our best efforts. He has had one seizure before several months ago so three in total.

I took him to the vets today and they recommended having him put down because of the combination of these various illnesses which I can understand as on paper it looks bad but they don't live with him so aren't getting the full picture. I know they're professionals but they don't see him eating, sleeping and enjoying getting affection from his owners who've loved and cared for him for 17 years so they're just looking at him as a list of symptoms rather than as a living entity.

Anyway, I said to the vet putting him to sleep has been something that's on my mind but he has improved in some ways now he is taking diuretics for the heart disease. Obviously the seizures were nasty to witness and probably awful for him and he was quite disoriented following this but this is improving now and he hasn't had further seizures since the weather has cooled down.

What disgusted me however and made me feel utterly powerless and on my own with regards to his care is she said they could put him down then and there at the appointment even though he was just booked in for a check-up so naturally I refused as it seemed too abrupt and I don't think he is suffering to the extent he needs to be put down immediately. Of course there is an element of suffering with any chronic health condition but people suffer with multiple ailments and aren't sent to their deaths, their conditions are managed.

What really has upset me though other than their haste to end his life is the vet would only give me enough diuretic medication for him for the next week as she said she thinks he needs to be put down within the next week. Is this even allowed? She thinks he is suffering but is going to make him suffer more by not authorising medication to keep him comfortable for his time left in the world, whether that be weeks or months? AIBU or is this highly unethical of her to refuse to re-prescribe medication for him?

Lastly, this vets is subsidised so I think there's an element of it being cheaper for them to have him die than treating him there and have heard other owners disagree with this practice's 'recommendation' to put their pets to sleep. I pay what I can afford but it's cheaper than a standard vets so I think this is probably relevant to their eagerness to put animals down.

OP posts:

Livelovebehappy · 27/08/2020 20:07

Make an appointment with another vet. Just for peace of mind, and to get a second opinion. If that vet says the same thing you will probably be more accepting. I’ve done it with doctors in the past and got different opinions, and I’m guessing there’s no harm in doing the same with vets.

ohdearmymistake · 27/08/2020 20:08

Sorry op this is not remotely vile, disgusting or unprofessional behaviour from a vet. They are putting the animals needs above your emotions.

AramintaLee · 27/08/2020 20:08

I'm sorry OP, it's an awful situation... but as someone whose cat had a seizure in my arms and made the most horrific yowl before being paralysed from the neck down and peeing all over me because he lost control of his bladder... put the cat down before it gets this far. With my cat, he was fine until he wasn't (he had a tumour I had no clue about until he had the seizure in my arms) I took him to the vet and they put him to sleep immediately, but I wish I'd known about the tumour as I would have made the decision to put him down before it got to the point where he had a seizure.

To this day it is one of the worst things I've ever witnessed and I still cry about it.

honeybeetheoneandonly · 27/08/2020 20:08

Your cat will tell you when they are done. The hardest thing is listening to them.
The vet might suggest to put your cat down when there is nothing further they can do. Does your cat still has good quality of life?

Itsjustabitofbanter · 27/08/2020 20:10

It’s unfair to blame the vet for wanting to put to sleep because you’re getting free expensive medication. You could take him to a normal vets where you actually have to pay, I’m sure the prognosis will remain the same though

Jaxhog · 27/08/2020 20:11

I haven't met a vet who would recommend this lightly. When our last cat was PTS at 18 years old, the vet cried as much as we did. It's a really tough call, but sometimes, the right one.

user127819 · 27/08/2020 20:11

I can see it from the vet's point of view. If they really believe that keeping the cat alive is unethical, they shouldn't be expected to compromise on their beliefs any more than they should be expected to put a healthy animal to sleep against their beliefs. You are always welcome to look for another vet.

Vets differ of course but I've generally found mine to be more eager to offer treatment than I am to take it up. With my pets usually I am the one to initiate the PTS conversation, and then they agree with me. Not the other way around. The fact that it was the other way with you makes me wonder how bad your cat really is. It's impossible to know without seeing him of course. You are that right the vet doesn't see him day-to-day, but sometimes when we see a pet every day we don't notice a gradual decline into a poor quality of life. A vet that sees an animal infrequently is more likely to notice a marked change.

Some may disagree, but when an animal has a condition that will not get better and will eventually cause severe suffering, I don't think it's always necessary to wait until they are severely suffering before PTS is the right decision. Sometimes the kindest gift we can give an animal is to prevent them ever knowing severe suffering.

EatDessertFirst · 27/08/2020 20:12

Your vet is giving you the best advice. They consider that your cat is suffering and you are prolonging that suffering.

I lost a 15 year old cat in April. He was only poorly for a week (still eating, drinking and toiletting though) and he was pts with great dignity and compassion in his consultation. It was deemed the kindest thing and I wholeheartedly agreed. He was suffering and needed me to advocate for him, which I did in a heartbeat.

You should do the right thing by your cat, not keep him alive to stop you being sad. Its cruel.

AlternativePerspective · 27/08/2020 20:12

The question you have to ask is who you’re doing this for. Because reality is that you’re doing it for yourself not the cat.

I have had to ask that question twice this summer, first one of my retired guide dogs who had collapsed and the vet said that he could give him some treatment to give him a few more weeks but in his opinion PTS would be the kindest thing. He was fifteen, and had been healthy until the end hence why it was a difficult one to face.

And secondly my partner’s working guide dog who was happy until the night before, woke up the next morning listless, and by that evening had collapsed, been diagnosed with a tumour and massive internal haemorrhage due to some internal rupture. Vet said that they could operate, transfuse him, go in and remove the blood from his abdomen and then assess how much the cancer had spread but A, they weren’t even sure he would survive the procedure to stabilise him, and B, any treatment then was just going to be delaying the inevitable. There was no other choice than to have him PTS there and then, and this was a working guide dog. Anything else would have been for our benefit and would be putting the dog through unnecessary suffering and for what?

Vets rarely advise PTS lightly, and don’t be fooled by the fact he is eating. Some animals will eat until the bitter end, my first guide dog did when I had to have her PTS at fifteen. It was time for her, I knew, and she knew, and as the vet said afterwards, if we’d waited until she’d stopped eating it would have been too late.

As owners we owe it to our animals to do the best for them, and as human beings we have the ability to end suffering, this is the final act we can give our animals...

RIPworkingmums · 27/08/2020 20:12

My cat had the same catalogue of illnesses and a similar age. My partner absolutely adored him and refused to have him pts. Honestly it would have been kinder than the death he did eventually suffer. Although on the other hand we were all with him as a family at home when he did eventually pass which was nice in some ways. I don’t think your vet was unprofessional but I also don’t think there is a right answer here and you have to do what you feel is best for your pet.

Delbelleber · 27/08/2020 20:12

Very sorry your much loved cat is so ill. I really sympathise with you. I think the vet was probably being cruel to be kind and I agree with her. I was in a similar situation with my rabbit which is not the same as a cat at all but none the less it was a shock to have her put to sleep at the appointment when I thought she was going to get better (she really wasn't) but if that had been my cat I'd probably have been a lot more upset by the vets demeanor.

yeOldeTrout · 27/08/2020 20:13

It's better they go while they still have more quality of life than not. You don't want to slide into situation where the cat more unhappy than content. Your cat is on that edge, this is why vet doesn't want suffering to be prolonged.

BCBG · 27/08/2020 20:16

I am sorry for your poorly cat, but so at your post. I have a DC who is a vet and I have watched him weep after PTS a much lived pet - and it never gets easier. What you have said is vile. @Veterinari has said everything I wanted to. I hope your cat has a peaceful end despite everything.

Dessicator · 27/08/2020 20:17

I have had experience of a profiteering vet who wanted to prolong my cats life with scans,xrays and blood tests just so " I could know exactly what was wrong with him" it was very clear the cat needed putting to sleep after having fluid aspirated from his abdomen.
I changed vets to one which did put two of my cats to sleep in check up visits which wasnt totally unexpected.
She explained one of them could have a concoction of drugs but would probably only last another week or so with a pretty miserable existence.
It's very hard to lose a beloved pet.

StyleandBeautyfail · 27/08/2020 20:18

You are calling the vet vile ?

Im sorry but what you are doing is very cruel to your cat, poor thing.

ScarMatty · 27/08/2020 20:19

I'm really sorry that you're going through this, but I think the obviously involved emotion and love is making you look at it differently, and possibly in the wrong way

CelestialSpanking · 27/08/2020 20:20

I think you’re being unfair on the vet- basically saying they want to kill your cat to save them the bother of looking after it anymore. Sounds like you’ve got a good vet who actually cares about your cat rather than prolonging it’s life and it’s suffering.

Suzi888 · 27/08/2020 20:20

Big hug @ReluctantRenegade I’m so sorry.

My dog has kidney disease markers so he’s regularly monitored. (Found during an expensive leg op, or it would’ve been missed)
Has your cat had a recent blood & urine test?

17 is quite old for a cat, have you asked if the cat is suffering? It seems at odds with kidney disease that your cat is eating and drinking.... what is a subsidised vet?
You can always have a second opinion at a specialist vet surgery. It’ll be costly, it may not give you the news you want but you’ll have piece of mind.

Doingitaloneandproud · 27/08/2020 20:23

I'm sorry about your cat, it sounds like you're thinking with emotion rather than thinking straight. To insinuate a vet would rather kill an animal than treat them is very harsh

IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0 · 27/08/2020 20:23

We expect doctors to act in the best interest of their patient , we now have "do not rescuitate " notices. Can you imagine what it is like to be a vet- after all the training, experience, love of animals - to advise someone that the best thing to do is to put your pet to sleep?Either you trust your vet's opinion or go somewhere else(will probably not be subsidised) Put your cat first, and cry afterwards.

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/08/2020 20:24

I think you were told something you aren't ready to hear from someone else yet.

That has very much coloured HOW you heard it - and not every vet has a brilliant bedside manner, unfortunately.

The truth is if your cat is as you say, then offering more than a weeks worth of meds is not ethical, if you get to half way through the week and your cat seems better, by all means, ask for more meds, but be prepared for the vet to want to see your cat before prescribing.

We've only got your word for it that your cat has a decent quality of life and whilst I don't disbelieve you, do remember that for cats, sitting on laps and purring away may not actually mean 'happy cat', cats will purr when stressed, they will purr when in pain, and they will sit in your lap when very very ill, for comfort... whilst stressed and in pain.

Ask someone who knows your cat but hasn't seen them in a while, to describe what your cat is like... if that discription does not match up to your cat NOW.. thats often a good indicator that quality of life has reduced, and you aren't seeing that because you see your cat all day everyday.

Funguy · 27/08/2020 20:24

17 is a great age for a cat. And the vet was suggesting the most sensible remedy for the animal's suffering.
I hope you are okay though. It is heartbreaking on every level x

SideEyeing · 27/08/2020 20:27

I was about to comment but I think @WiddlinDiddlin said it all. Perhaps this vet didn't have brilliant bedside manner {something a lot of doctors are certainly guilty of!}. I'm sorry you're hurting OP, I know how hard it can be ❤️

MilerVino · 27/08/2020 20:29

I suspect she offered to PTS during the appointment because she felt the cat was very ill and because it was the kindest thing for the cat. And many owners will make such an appointment in the knowledge that it could come to this. Regarding the medication, if it's a subsidised practice she won't want to give out large amounts of (expensive?) medication that might go unused. Sorry to be blunt about that but it is something vets have to consider. And as PP have said, it's also a way of ensuring a repeat visit later, perhaps when you've had time to digest things a bit more.

I am sorry your cat is so ill. Not everyone actually can tell when an animal needs to be PTS and they do let things go on too long. I'd rather give an animal a kind and dignified end whilst it is still eating and enjoying life than let it suffer beyond that basic point.

oofadoofa · 27/08/2020 20:29

YABU. It’s understandable, you love your cat. But the vet has professional standards that go beyond any of the points you raise.

All the best.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12