AIBU to delete friends number after 15+ years?

[OliBolsMum]

First time poster, don't be gentle as I'm looking for honesty! AIA for the long post.

Bit of background... met a woman around 15 years ago, became fast friends, had periods where life got ahead of us but always met up like no time had passed. Fast forward to 2017. My life falls apart. Left my DH and moved back in with parents, Mother passes away and SD asks me to leave. At this point I am effectively living out of my car and sleeping on my new DPs parents living room floor. DP has a DSD whose mother is close with my friend's brother, who relays every aspect of our relationship back to DSD mum, causing numerous issues. This caused friction between me and my friend, but I tried to let it slide.

Friend had constantly been asking me to go away on a girly holiday with her. After my mum passed, I had no excuse and so decided to agree. We got together, booked the holiday (I pay, she agrees to transfer her half, as we always have done in the past). Then she tells me she can't really afford it but should be able to save up in time. 6 weeks later, she still hasn't told her DH we are going away (in 3 weeks time). After confronting her she tells me she can't afford it. I'm now £1k out of pocket for a holiday she wanted, with 3 weeks to go. I end up paying for a new passport and name change for my DP as I can't cancel.

On return, me and DP make plans for her and DH to come to ours for tea. 2 hours after they were supposed to turn up, with us trying to pacify a crying DSD who is hungry and can't wait any longer, she cancels. AFTER we'd made a special effort to buy food she wanted.

I'm livid and tell her as much. She tells me I am being mean and will speak to me after she comes back from a holiday abroad to see her and DH friends (spent £££ on). I kick off again re the earlier holiday mis-hap.

Three years pass and I have attempted to make contact several times. I only get responses that say I have hurt her deeply and she needs time to trust me again, or that she is out with her 'best' friends and that life has been awful for her.

So........ AIBU to:

1. Just delete her number - I was in the wrong and I have ruined the friendship.
2. Just delete her number - She'll always be flaky and is not worth my time.
3. Keep chipping away, don't throw away 15+ years of friendship?

2 clearly.

1. you hung on too long anyway after the holiday fiasco

I don't really get why the person relaying aspects of your relationship back to DSD's mum caused friction between you and your friend, but that's beside the point.

She's inconsiderate, flaky and outrageously rude (who on earth cancels coming for tea two hours after they were supposed to be there?!?)

She's got a fucking nerve trying to say YOU have hurt HER deeply.

I would be livid!! She sounds like a twat tbh

You don't have 15 years of friendship, you don't have any sort of friendship with this woman. Delete and block and never contact her again. Any comments you hear from other people about how she feels can be safely ignored. You did not hurt her, she thought she could con you out of a free holiday but you took your DP instead. I bet that pissed on her chips.

2, she’ll do it again given half the chance, and you don’t need the hassle.

2 - why are you even bothering after the holiday fiasco and after three years?

1. You should have done this long ago for the sake of your sanity

@IntermittentParps The relaying was like chinese whispers, leading to DSD's mum screaming down the phone at DP for things that had never happened. It caused friction because I had explained to said friend that when she told her brother things, he obviously altered them, but she still continued.

Option 2. I would have ditched her after she left me £1000 out of pocket.

2

I see, thanks OP.

Option 2 . She isn't your friend

1. Time to move on, you don't need a 'friend' who will leave you £1000+ out of pocket.

You managed to salvage something out of that mess, but even if you hadn't taken your DP instead she wouldn't have repaid you.

I can't believe you think this is your fault!

Have you posted this before? I feel like I have read this before. I would delete her number, most likely she has already deleted you. The only reason I would have held onto it is if there was a chance of getting my money back which I don't think there is.

1. Tell her to go fuck herself and then delete her number.

BoingBoingyBoing's option is the better one, I vote for 4.

2 obviously. Why is she going on about what you did to her, what did you do to her except call her out on her poor behaviour and why are you chasing her at all? Get some self respect woman. Also I would tell her what a massive cunt she is before i block her number

I kick off again re the earlier holiday mis-hap

A mis-hap would be where she forgot to pack shampoo and had to borrow yours or accidentally trod on your toe or something. This was not a mis-hap.

I can't believe you invited her to dinner after the shitty way she treated you. The phrase "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" springs to mind, OP.

It sounds like you're clinging on to the idea of who you hoped she'd be. But she's not that person and the longer it takes you to accept that, the more disappointed you are going to be.

@purplecorkheart Nope, first time poster. Unless she is on here and has posted similar. Which would be highly amusing

Option 2

Whatever friendship you had at the beginning has long gone. She is extremely selfish and sounds like a shit stirrer. You do not need her in your life.
I would tell her that you are deleting/blocking her number and you are ending the friendship.

You do not need this person in your life.

2

And block.

Then she can't send you anymore texts as she'll still have your number asking you to apologise for doing nothing wrong!

I generally don’t care if people cancel on me, being stood up, fuck off.