AIBU to delete friends number after 15+ years?

[OliBolsMum]

First time poster, don't be gentle as I'm looking for honesty! AIA for the long post.

Bit of background... met a woman around 15 years ago, became fast friends, had periods where life got ahead of us but always met up like no time had passed. Fast forward to 2017. My life falls apart. Left my DH and moved back in with parents, Mother passes away and SD asks me to leave. At this point I am effectively living out of my car and sleeping on my new DPs parents living room floor. DP has a DSD whose mother is close with my friend's brother, who relays every aspect of our relationship back to DSD mum, causing numerous issues. This caused friction between me and my friend, but I tried to let it slide.

Friend had constantly been asking me to go away on a girly holiday with her. After my mum passed, I had no excuse and so decided to agree. We got together, booked the holiday (I pay, she agrees to transfer her half, as we always have done in the past). Then she tells me she can't really afford it but should be able to save up in time. 6 weeks later, she still hasn't told her DH we are going away (in 3 weeks time). After confronting her she tells me she can't afford it. I'm now £1k out of pocket for a holiday she wanted, with 3 weeks to go. I end up paying for a new passport and name change for my DP as I can't cancel.

On return, me and DP make plans for her and DH to come to ours for tea. 2 hours after they were supposed to turn up, with us trying to pacify a crying DSD who is hungry and can't wait any longer, she cancels. AFTER we'd made a special effort to buy food she wanted.

I'm livid and tell her as much. She tells me I am being mean and will speak to me after she comes back from a holiday abroad to see her and DH friends (spent £££ on). I kick off again re the earlier holiday mis-hap.

Three years pass and I have attempted to make contact several times. I only get responses that say I have hurt her deeply and she needs time to trust me again, or that she is out with her 'best' friends and that life has been awful for her.

So........ AIBU to:

1. Just delete her number - I was in the wrong and I have ruined the friendship.
2. Just delete her number - She'll always be flaky and is not worth my time.
3. Keep chipping away, don't throw away 15+ years of friendship?

She is an atrocious cunt.

Agree with the majority '
-100% number 2. You can't choose family but you can friends. This woman-child is not your friend.

1. Cancel and block. What was left of the friendship has been well and truly thrown away after the holiday fiasco anyway, there's nothing left to salvage.

Option 2 or 4. And if you do 4, send a link to this thread too.

Delete and move on. She's an asshole!

She's in the wrong. Forget about her and move on. She sounds nuts.

2

I think many of us have experienced this sort of flakey behaviour. The worst aspect of it is when you try to convey to them, even in the nicest possible way that it inconveniences you, they kind of twist it to make you feel like the unreasonable one. They are really not worth all the hassle.

I remember reading up on it once and it’s apparently a form of hostility, a way of telling you, “I’m more important than you.”

Thank you for all the honest words. I was obviously deluding myself into thinking the friendship meant as much to her as it did me. Clearly not. I shall be taking your advice and deleting her number. If I thought for a second she'd actually think she may be in the wrong I'd go for option 4 but I'm just not that brave!

Not everybody you have known for a long time is your friend.

Do you have any real friends? as in people who respect you and treat you well? You seem very needy even to be considering hanging onto this person.

2- you are a saint I must say, why didn’t you cut her off after the holiday debacle? Why have her over for lunch!?

2

She sounds utterly selfish.

Option 2 and don't look back.

Jesus OP I'd have told her to go fuck herself after the holiday situation. She's not a friend.

2 and keep the moral highground - never let her darken you’re door agian

4

You sound lovely OP and you deserve better friends than this

1. For all the reasons you stated in your post!

I typed Yabu just because I wouldn't have even tried to stay friends after the holiday issue. A friend wouldn't do that to another and she wouldn't have been given another chance by me. Op please give her no more thought, she needs to come crawling to you not the other way around - i wouldnt give her the time of day though if it was me.

2 of course without a doubt. Even if she came on here and told another side to the story and we felt sympathy for her, I’d still say the same.
The friendship has gone and was clearly going that way for some time.

2

Option 2. Cut her adrift.

2

Option 2. Swiftly followed by a total block on all forms of contact and social media. Goodness me, how much clearer could she make it that she's an utter c*nt? Why would you want to keep a parasite like that in your life? Delete Delete Delete.

Definitely 2. She doesn't value your friendship.

Holiday is slightly more complicated issue, but someone who doesn't turn up and only tells you 2 hours later would drive me potty.