To think I'm the only one still living a distanced life...

[ciarachats]

I'm still strictly distancing, because, well
that's the rules!
But I know very little people that still are.!!

The thing is, I'm so miserable because of it.

I have a 7 month old baby that my mum hasn't held since March. My mum
works around a lot of people and I've not felt like it's a good Idea for her to hold the baby.

I've barely seen friends because the weather is rubbish for outdoor meet ups!

We can't go for coffee because how do you stay 2m away from someone and drink a coffee in a shop together?!
Same for going for lunch or a drink etc.

It's all starting to drive me crazy and I really miss seeing properly.

How long are we expected to keep this up for!!

Should I just stop this now and get back to normal?!

OP I do mean this kindly but it feels like you are looking for excuses not to go out. Yes the weather has been mixed, but it hasn’t been raining solidly for 3 weeks. I appreciate with a small baby it might seem the easiest option is to stay at home sometimes, I remember feeling like that. But I do think it would be good for the health of you and your baby to get out a bit more. I have met friends in the park and outdoor cafes, it really does make me feel better to have had a chat to a friend. Don’t underestimate the importance of good mental health.

Just go out then if you don’t want to stay in anymore.

@Babs709

Did the North not get that amazing heatwave for the first two weeks of August?

Not really. We had a few nice days but the weather was changeable and we had several severe thunderstorms during that time too.

I've woken up to yet another wet and very windy day today. Socialising outside can be really tricky to plan as the weather can be unpredictable

It has been nice enough to sit outside many, many days.
I was in the North a few weeks ago and we had most meals/coffees sat outside.

If you wanted to do it you’d make it happen.

Hell we went out last night and sat outside after the thunderstorm! Pub had a gazebo and outdoor heaters, we wrapped up. Tables all spaced out. App to order drinks. Had a lovely time. Now is the time to do it before it gets too cold too. Many cafes/restaurants have shelter outside/ gazebos etc.

It sounds as though you are still following the original rules as they were back at the start of lockdown in March. Of course you can go for a coffee. I've been for several restaurant and pub meals with the only problem being that they are more quickly booked up because they have fewer tables out. You are making excuses there and being over anxious.

I can see no reason at all why your mother cannot be allowed to hold your baby now. Any risk is extremely tiny.

Your right to wonder how much longer you can go on like this. You can't, so don't. The up-to-date rules have already been linked to if you want something to follow. They don't involve staying isolated and miserable.

Get out a bit. Start returning to a semblance of normality. Use a face mask where required and just social distance where possible. That's it.

@Delatron

It has been nice enough to sit outside many, many days. I was in the North a few weeks ago and we had most meals/coffees sat outside.

If you wanted to do it you’d make it happen.

Hell we went out last night and sat outside after the thunderstorm! Pub had a gazebo and outdoor heaters, we wrapped up. Tables all spaced out. App to order drinks. Had a lovely time. Now is the time to do it before it gets too cold too. Many cafes/restaurants have shelter outside/ gazebos etc.

Do you think we're not being truthful about the weather? Why are people determined to tell the op to sit outside. If she lives anywhere near me that just hasn't been possible on a regular basis for weeks and weeks. Apart from a few nice days we've had days and days of torrential rain and wind. Sitting in a gazebo in windy weather is no fun -we tried it a few weeks ago.

Now, I think the op could relax a little but the insistence she socialises outside and that's she's telling lies about the weather is getting ridiculous

It’s guidance and shouldn’t be followed anyway!

You have clearly made your own decisions to isolate yourself and your family in this way OP. Not sure what you hope to gain from this post actually 🤷‍♀️. People have tried to suggest ways that you can get out and about (or even 'stay in' but become more social!) but you're obviously opposed to every suggestion.

You ARE allowed to do more things now even within the guidelines (which are just that btw...guidelines!!). But you're taking things to the extreme limit and being a martyr to it now. If you are not in any vulnerable category...there's no need. In fact...even that has ended now!

Stay isolated and miserable...or don't! Your choice 👍

@SueEllenMishke

*Do you think we're not being truthful about the weather? Why are people determined to tell the op to sit outside. If she lives anywhere near me that just hasn't been possible on a regular basis for weeks and weeks.
Apart from a few nice days we've had days and days of torrential rain and wind. Sitting in a gazebo in windy weather is no fun -we tried it a few weeks ago.

Now, I think the op could relax a little but the insistence she socialises outside and that's she's telling lies about the weather is getting ridiculous*

Thank you!! Not sure about where you are, but where i am it's pouring down with rain today!! No fun at all to be outside in this!

It’s like the op is one of those soldiers in the Far East who kept fighting ww2 when actually it had finished. Not that Covid is finished but it’s not March / April anymore. We’ve been to Italy this summer they had an awful time earlier in the year but now their rates lower than ours and it’s pretty much normal albeit with sd masks eating outside etc

@Topseyt

It sounds as though you are still following the original rules as they were back at the start of lockdown in March. Of course you can go for a coffee. I've been for several restaurant and pub meals with the only problem being that they are more quickly booked up because they have fewer tables out. You are making excuses there and being over anxious.

I can see no reason at all why your mother cannot be allowed to hold your baby now. Any risk is extremely tiny.

Your right to wonder how much longer you can go on like this. You can't, so don't. The up-to-date rules have already been linked to if you want something to follow. They don't involve staying isolated and miserable.

Get out a bit. Start returning to a semblance of normality. Use a face mask where required and just social distance where possible. That's it.

@Topseyt

I'm following the current guidelines, which I've just read again to be sure.

2m apart.
1m+ with mitigation (face masks)
Can meet another household for food /drinks but should maintain 2 meter distance.
Can have people in your house or go to other people's houses but maintain 2m.

So where in there does it says it's permitted or safe for my mum to hold the baby?

I haven't been for a meal with a friend as I just don't understand how it's possible to maintain 2m from each other and sit at the same table!
I don't want to sit 1m and wear a mask whilst meeting my friend.

The weather is completely irrelevant. You could go to a restaurant or cafe. You could have a friend over and sit apart from each other. You could go to soft play. You could go shopping. You are complaining about a situation of your own doing, not the actual guidelines.

I'm also not sure of your circumstances, but you mention your mum and not dad - so does she live alone? In which case you could form a bubble with her and actually hug her/ let her hug your child.

@MsTSwift

It’s like the op is one of those soldiers in the Far East who kept fighting ww2 when actually it had finished. Not that Covid is finished but it’s not March / April anymore. We’ve been to Italy this summer they had an awful time earlier in the year but now their rates lower than ours and it’s pretty much normal albeit with sd masks eating outside etc

@MsTSwift

How wonderful. I'm so glad you had a lovely time in Italy.
I'm glad you're comfortable doing these things.

And 'mitigation' doesn't mean 'if and only if you wear a mask'. It means 'mitigation'.

So plenty of sanitising. Sitting next to each other and facing forward instead of across a table (or I would suggest sitting opposite corners of a four seater table). Finding ways to mitigate that are not exclusive to masks.

@PurdyFlower

The weather is completely irrelevant. You could go to a restaurant or cafe. You could have a friend over and sit apart from each other. You could go to soft play. You could go shopping. You are complaining about a situation of your own doing, not the actual guidelines.

I'm also not sure of your circumstances, but you mention your mum and not dad - so does she live alone? In which case you could form a bubble with her and actually hug her/ let her hug your child.

@PurdyFlower

No my mum lives with her husband (not my father)

Yeah I I guess I could do all of these things.
I am vulnerable though. I'm overweight and have asthma so I'm taking extra precautions.

Covid hasn't gone and it's still around.

I guess I don't quite understand why the whole country shut down for months but now it's "safe" to do these things again.

Why couldn't we just do all of this at the start with the measures we have in place now?

Your most recent post alludes that you are aware you can eat out, grab coffee, sit outside and chat with a friend, walk around some shops together, you are choosing not to. Queue in a coffee shop 2m apart, order drinks, sit down at opposite sides of a table, you can keep most of that distance. Nobody will be arresting you if its more like 1m apart...

Either take advantage of what you are allowed to do, or don't, in the meantime stop complaining whilst the rest of us take advantage of what is allowed. Boring....

@LonelyFromCorona

Your most recent post alludes that you are aware you can eat out, grab coffee, sit outside and chat with a friend, walk around some shops together, you are choosing not to. Queue in a coffee shop 2m apart, order drinks, sit down at opposite sides of a table, you can keep most of that distance. Nobody will be arresting you if its more like 1m apart...

Either take advantage of what you are allowed to do, or don't, in the meantime stop complaining whilst the rest of us take advantage of what is allowed. Boring....

@LonelyFromCorona

I didn't think I would get arrested, but I do think that would create unnecessary risks to be less than 2m if I don't need to.

But I will take these responses into account. Thanks.

You do not have to wear face masks when in cafés, bars or restaurants. That is an exemption. You can't eat and drink while wearing them, so you don't wear them.

There is no rule that says your mother cannot hold the baby. If you and she have been social distancing and following your rules since March then there is virtually no risk at all to either of them and you are simply being dogmatic.

@Topseyt

You do not have to wear face masks when in cafés, bars or restaurants. That is an exemption. You can't eat and drink while wearing them, so you don't wear them.

There is no rule that says your mother cannot hold the baby. If you and she have been social distancing and following your rules since March then there is virtually no risk at all to either of them and you are simply being dogmatic.

@Topseyt

My mum works with members of the public. There is a risk. Sure she distances but there is a risk.
Is it worth putting my small baby at risk?!

The advice is to social distance.

It's only in Scotland where children don't need to distance from adults.

I'm in England!

"I guess I don't quite understand why the whole country shut down for months but now it's "safe" to do these things again."

When we shut down for months we understood very little about transmission of this virus. Now we understand a lot more. When we shut down for months our services were about to become overwhelmed and weren't prepared. Now that is not the case and we have very few cases of coronavirus, the chances of transmission are low.

Mitigation is not another word for "mask". It means sit at opposite corners of your 4 seater table, sanitise frequently, don't chant football songs .

Your baby will be at more risk from not being able to build up natural antibodies and not being socialised that she will a hug with your mum. The chances of either of them catching a virus are minimal. This virus may be around uncontrolled for your lifetime. Will you keep your baby away from family and huddled up indefinitely?

Go see your mum, let the baby have a cuddle and meet a friend for coffee rather than damaging your own health and that of your baby....and enjoy it

Also, I am someone who came close to losing both elderly parents to non Covid related issues during lockdown without ever being able to see them alive again.

Fortunately that didn't happen, but it made me rethink the idea of just blindly following arbitrary rules. They went out of the window for me at the tail end of lockdown because my parents would have been in real danger and real difficulty if I hadn't done that. Also, the sky did not fall in.

You are being too extreme. You question why others aren't following your version of the rules, or so it seems. You admit that you are miserable following your version of the rules.

So stop. Relax a bit within the current rules.

Your OP certainly doesn't remotely suggest that you have been following up-to-date rules.

"Is it worth putting my small baby at risk?!

The advice is to social distance.

It's only in Scotland where children don't need to distance from adults.

I'm in England!"

Read this. Read it. Does it make any reasonable, logical sense to you? Your baby isn't at risk from COVID-19. She isn't. The scientists are telling you that.

She is at risk from being completely unsocialised. This can be so damaging and isn't something we've tested as a society really before. You are taking big risks for both you and your child by living your life like this.

There are an awful lot more of us than you realise because we’re just quietly going about it. There are a huge number of families in the UK with at least one vulnerable member and it’s just sense. Nothing to do with following rules here, I gave up listening to the rabble in Downing Street months ago when it became apparent that they were going with public opinion. We’ve come to conclusions about safety precautions weeks before policy was announced through this because if you keep a weather eye on basic scientific developments, it’s usually pretty clear what’s coming.
We’re doing what’s sensible to see us all safely through virus season.

Big hand clap

Your small baby is at virtually no risk. Absolutely negligible.

She is at far more risk from lack of socialisation and from not being able to build up her immune system by gradual exposure to the world and people around her.