To think I'm the only one still living a distanced life...

[ciarachats]

I'm still strictly distancing, because, well
that's the rules!
But I know very little people that still are.!!

The thing is, I'm so miserable because of it.

I have a 7 month old baby that my mum hasn't held since March. My mum
works around a lot of people and I've not felt like it's a good Idea for her to hold the baby.

I've barely seen friends because the weather is rubbish for outdoor meet ups!

We can't go for coffee because how do you stay 2m away from someone and drink a coffee in a shop together?!
Same for going for lunch or a drink etc.

It's all starting to drive me crazy and I really miss seeing properly.

How long are we expected to keep this up for!!

Should I just stop this now and get back to normal?!

Have you actually thought about this means in terms of probable risk? Instead of thinking about a virus imagine you were in a crowd of 100,000 (so a very big stadium) and I said that there are 16 people here who you know, what do you think the chances of bumping into one of those people over the next hour would be? Pretty low, I imagine. And that doesn’t even mean that they would definitely pass the virus onto you - transmission is more complicated then that, otherwise we’d all have had the virus by now. I think you need to try and contextualise the risk, you use know the way you’re currently living is not sustainable.

Well, quite. 16 people in a stadium of 100,000. Plus the R rate is under 1 so it’s not as if they’d pass on to 16 other people.

Want do you want us to say OP ? We can't change your mindset. Do you suffer from anxiety at all ?

@userxx

Want do you want us to say OP ? We can't change your mindset. Do you suffer from anxiety at all ?

@userxx

Yeah I am quite anxious.

Maybe though I'm over estimating the danger of Covid?! I mean, it seems pretty dangerous to me.
Especially being overweight and asthmatic.

And people have said it's not that easy to catch.

Well I saw a video online about how particles can linger in the air. So if someone were to cough or sneeze and you walked into that area, you can catch it!!

I am pretty miserable living such a distanced life, and of course I'd love to just get back out there and back to some normality, but ultimately, yes, I am anxious.

Not anxious in a way that needs professional help, but how can I not be anxious when I'm vulnerable to something that could potentially kill me!!

@ciarachats what do you think the chances of you say dying from it are?

I think it may be in a way that needs professional help, sorry. It's not normal to be living like this when the risk is so low.

[quote Quartz2208]@ciarachats what do you think the chances of you say dying from it are?[/quote]
@Quartz2208

High. 😔

And if I were fortunate enough not to die then I would be ill enough to need hospital admission!! 😣

Fair enough, so it's not about keeping to 2m distance, you don't feel comfortable meeting people indoors at all. That's up to you but current guidelines are that you socialise with another household indoors while socially distancing (unless you're in a higher risk area), so your OP was a bit misleading as you said you were sticking to the rules.

Do you have a garden? Could you set up a seating area with some sort of rain/wind cover, a patio heater and some blankets? One of our vulnerable relatives has done this so they can have visitors when the weather is rubbish.

Not anxious in a way that needs professional help, but how can I not be anxious when I'm vulnerable to something that could potentially kill me!!

Respectfully, I have to disagree.

Your anxiety is making you miserable. Go and see your GP.

@gingganggooleywotsit

I think it may be in a way that needs professional help, sorry. It's not normal to be living like this when the risk is so low.

@gingganggooleywotsit

If the risk was so low, why is there even distancing and restrictions in place to begun with?

I'm back at work, canteen and coffee shops all working, appropropriate measures n place. When we go out to eat, restaurants are open but keep one table free between tables. Same with coffee shops. You can go out!

My mum is shielding as she is vulnerable and she hasn't been to shops or anything but we take her out to forests, lakes etc.

@AlrightTreacle

Do you have a garden? Could you set up a seating area with some sort of rain/wind cover, a patio heater and some blankets? One of our vulnerable relatives has done this so they can have visitors when the weather is rubbish.

Yes I do! Good idea!! ☺️

If the risk was so low, why is there even distancing and restrictions in place to begun with?

The restriction isn't to stay home though is it? So go out, but in the queue for a coffee, keep 2 metres away. When going in a lift, don't share the lift with strangers. Go out to the forest, everyone is keeping 2 metres away. It's totally doable with common sense.

If the risk was so low, why is there even distancing and restrictions in place to begun with?

Because the risk was higher then, and we knew much less about the virus. But I have a feeling you're not going to listen to anyone because you just wanted patting on the back for living the way you do. You don't actually want to be convinced that it's safe to go out.

If the risk was so low, why is there even distancing and restrictions in place to begun with?

Because it was complete panic stations back in March, we didn't know much about covid, places weren't set up for social distancing, there wasn't much capacity for testing and PPE was in short supply. Things have changed since then.

@vanillandhoney

If the risk was so low, why is there even distancing and restrictions in place to begun with?

Because the risk was higher then, and we knew much less about the virus. But I have a feeling you're not going to listen to anyone because you just wanted patting on the back for living the way you do. You don't actually want to be convinced that it's safe to go out.

I suspect you're right

If the risk was so low, why is there even distancing and restrictions in place to begun with?

You're comparing now with months ago when it's not really possible to make direct comparisons.

We were living with no social distancing, we weren't washing hands or sanitising as often, we didn't understand the virus as much as we do now.
The purpose of the restrictions was never to get rid of the virus but it was to control the numbers sufficiently so the NHS could cope. It was never meant to be a long, long term plan.
As a society we are behaving completely differently to how we were in March. This is helping to control community transmission.

The chances of you coming into contact with someone who is infected is very, very low.

@vanillandhoney

You don't actually want to be convinced that it's safe to go out.*

Yes I do!! And I do go out!!!!. As I've said I've met friends / family for walks, garden meet ups, picnics.

The thing I'm not feeling confident about doing are indoor meet ups in houses.
Going for food / coffee with someone outside of my household!!

I was tempted to risk going to my favourite restaurant. Then this morning they posted on FB that they’re closed because a staff member has Covid. If I’d gone for a meal I’d be at risk. So this has really clarified for me that it isn’t safe. The government guidelines and laws mean nothing - just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s safe - smoking for example is legal but unsafe. You can’t rely on laws to protect you. It’s not the end of the world if I end up staying at home for one year out of the 80 years I’ll probably live. Some people don’t know how to cope with adversity and can’t handle their life being any less than wonderful for a short period. They simply must have their coffees, holidays, parties, beauty treatments, regardless of whether it’s safe or not.

The thing I'm not feeling confident about doing are indoor meet ups in houses. Going for food / coffee with someone outside of my household!!

Okay

Then carry on the way you are. But you're actively making a choice that makes you miserable - at least own your decision. Don't complain when you could easily make different choices.

All the people that think they’re the only one still obeying the rules should get together. They could form a support group.

OP the risk to you and your baby is very low, get out there!!
Quite apart from anything else if your baby isn’t exposed to any antigens at all then you may have problems when he/she does come across the more common infections

It’s not that dangerous to a young woman though. Being overweight but not obese is a very small multiplicative increase in risk, well-controlled asthma where you don’t have to take oral steroids possibly isn’t a measurable risk at all. If you’re living with a slim non-asthmatic man of the same age then he’s should probably be more worried than you.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nasty disease, and it’s socially responsible to avoid spreading it, because the less chances you have to spread it the safer we’ll all be, but you are talking as if you have a target on your head. I’m slim and don’t have asthma but I’m fifty. I should be much more scared than you.

Some people don’t know how to cope with adversity and can’t handle their life being any less than wonderful for a short period. They simply must have their coffees, holidays, parties, beauty treatments, regardless of whether it’s safe or not.

You have absolutely no idea what is going on in people's lives.
And those coffees, holidays and beauty treatments represent jobs.

Then yes you are massively overestimating the risk if you think it is high and a good chance of hospitalisation

The biggest risk factor is age. Even then a 90 year old has a 20% chance of dying

You say overweight are you overweight or obese? That matters a lot

We have all this in place because it is new and unknown and no immunity

I think honestly OP there are two options:

• living with a small risk
• just ...existing... with lower risk

You seem convinced that if you caught covid you’d be very ill. It’s not the case at all- many people who are overweight and have asthma have had covid and recovered. The risk is higher, but it’s nowhere near certain.

I live in a covid hotspot; I have had it (overweight) and DC (asthma) and for both of us it was like a normal, if slightly persistent, cough with some additional gastric symptoms. Never went near a hospital. A number of family members and friends (Healthcare and social care workers) have also had it, some in other high risk groups, and all have been either asymptomatic or had mild symptoms.

Not sure if that makes you feel better but it’s our experience.

@Quartz2208

Then yes you are massively overestimating the risk if you think it is high and a good chance of hospitalisation

The biggest risk factor is age. Even then a 90 year old has a 20% chance of dying

You say overweight are you overweight or obese? That matters a lot

We have all this in place because it is new and unknown and no immunity

@Quartz2208

You say overweight are you overweight or obese? That matters a lot

Ah yes well according to my BMI (32 ) I'm obese.