Page 10 | To think I'm the only one still living a distanced life...

DancingCatGif · 28/08/2020 13:25

@vanillandhoney

I don't think you have a very good grip on the concept of risk

vanillandhoney · 28/08/2020 13:29

[quote DancingCatGif]@vanillandhoney

I don't think you have a very good grip on the concept of risk[/quote]
Oh well. Luckily I'm not really bothered what you think.

Quartz2208 · 28/08/2020 13:38

Where are those figures from Porcupineinwaiting

I have seen the 80% but that doesnt mean 80% of those who get COVID because to be in the 80% you had to be ill enough to be in hospital in the first place

Until we know exactly how many are asymptomatic or people actually have had it (which we may never know) the 1 in 20 or 80% are meaningless

COVID is a higher risk yes but one we are going to have to learn to live with in the short to medium term

DancingCatGif · 28/08/2020 13:39

@vanillandhoney if you've no interest in others' opinions why are you on a forum?

vanillandhoney · 28/08/2020 13:42

[quote DancingCatGif]@vanillandhoney if you've no interest in others' opinions why are you on a forum?[/quote]
Eh? What I mean is that the opinion of a total stranger on the internet isn't actually going to have an impact on how I live my life.

That doesn't mean I'm not interested in the debate or conversation.

DancingCatGif · 28/08/2020 13:48

@vanillandhoney

That's not what you said. You literally shut the debate down by telling me, essentially, to stop talking.

Seems a strange thing to do for someone who is interested in debate.

The fact of the matter is, the more people go out, the more the virus spreads. And it spreads exponentially.

That might not impact you, but it impacts others. You slipping in the shower is neither here nor there to me. You spread coronavirus to my elderly mother is a different matter. It's not just a risk to you.

No one needs to stay in 24/7, that is not feasible. But since the UK has no workable track and trace system, the only way to stop it spreading is by limiting social contact.

vanillandhoney · 28/08/2020 14:00

No one needs to stay in 24/7, that is not feasible. But since the UK has no workable track and trace system, the only way to stop it spreading is by limiting social contact.

Yes, absolutely, and I've never said I don't do that. But there's a difference between limiting social contact and hiding away inside for the rest of your life, and OP says herself she is miserable doing what she's doing. She could go out and socialise within the guidelines if she wanted, but she's choosing not do.

The mental health impact of shutting yourself off from the world shouldn't be underestimated. Yes, there's always going to be a risk of catching the virus, but humans are social creatures and aren't designed to live indoors with no real interaction with others. Most people have decided that the benefits of going out and outweigh the risks of COVID.

At the end of the day, OP is miserable doing what she's doing - and what she's doing is restricting herself beyond what is necessary. Of course that's her choice, but there's no need for it.

Original poster

ciarachats · 28/08/2020 14:27

@vanillandhoney

No one needs to stay in 24/7, that is not feasible. But since the UK has no workable track and trace system, the only way to stop it spreading is by limiting social contact.

Yes, absolutely, and I've never said I don't do that. But there's a difference between limiting social contact and hiding away inside for the rest of your life, and OP says herself she is miserable doing what she's doing. She could go out and socialise within the guidelines if she wanted, but she's choosing not do.

The mental health impact of shutting yourself off from the world shouldn't be underestimated. Yes, there's always going to be a risk of catching the virus, but humans are social creatures and aren't designed to live indoors with no real interaction with others. Most people have decided that the benefits of going out and outweigh the risks of COVID.

At the end of the day, OP is miserable doing what she's doing - and what she's doing is restricting herself beyond what is necessary. Of course that's her choice, but there's no need for it.

@vanillandhoney

I haven't seen friends recently because of the rain and I don't feel comfortable going for food / coffee as I don't really understand how you can do that with another household and maintain 2m.

I do go out! It's not like I'm sitting at home every day! Just recently I feel miserable at not seeing friends because the weather hasn't permitted it!

OP posts:

userxx · 28/08/2020 14:27

the only way to stop it spreading is by limiting social contact.

For how long though ? It's gone on far too long as it is.

userxx · 28/08/2020 14:30

Just recently I feel miserable at not seeing friends because the weather hasn't permitted it

Go and find an outdoor pub/bar/restaurant with a big umbrella and see your friends. It's totally doable.

SueEllenMishke · 28/08/2020 14:37

Just go see your friends OP. Wash hands, don't cough and sneeze on each other and don't hug and kiss them. The chances of them being infected in minimal anyway!

vanillandhoney · 28/08/2020 14:44

I haven't seen friends recently because of the rain and I don't feel comfortable going for food / coffee as I don't really understand how you can do that with another household and maintain 2m.

Sit at separate tables. Sit at a big table. Sit at an angle where you're not breathing over each other. Sit at opposite corners instead of opposite sides to maximise the distance. Go round their house instead and sit at opposite ends of the dining table or opposite ends of the living room. Get your coffee "to go" and have a walk in the rain. Invite them to yours and set your living room up so you can social distance.

There are plenty of ways you can see your friends.

Quartz2208 · 28/08/2020 14:49

@Porcupineinwaiting

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3869571-Studies-corner

has some interesting developments on the heart study. Not entirely sure I understand it all though!

AlrightTreacle · 28/08/2020 15:05

"I haven't seen friends recently because of the rain and I don't feel comfortable going for food / coffee as I don't really understand how you can do that with another household and maintain 2m.

I do go out! It's not like I'm sitting at home every day! Just recently I feel miserable at not seeing friends because the weather hasn't permitted it!"

If you don't feel comfortable going out for a drink or food with friends, then that's fine, explain to them that you don't feel comfortable going out for a coffee and invite them around to yours instead. Set out the seating so it's 2m apart, or however distant you feel comfortable with. One of my friends prefers to sit 5m apart, and that's fine because it's what she is comfortable with, we still see each other. Ask friends to bring their own food and drinks if you feel uncomfortable about sharing, again one of my friends asks me to do this and it's fine. Get some dettol hard surface spray for the bathroom for guests to use in between uses, and clean it before and after they come.

The weather is only going to get worse over the next few months, and you need to start planning for how you can socialise indoors and feel comfortable at the same time. Are you embarrassed about having people over to yours or something? If so then start having a declutter and a tidy up of the bits of the house that they will see, like the living room and kitchen, start small and steady, do like 10 minutes a day and it will soon look more presentable.

Original poster

ciarachats · 28/08/2020 15:31

Are you embarrassed about having people over to yours or something? If so then start having a declutter and a tidy up of the bits of the house that they will see, like the living room and kitchen, start small and steady, do like 10 minutes a day and it will soon look more presentable.

Erm, No ....

I just feel safer outdoors since everything suggests the transmission is lower outside than in.

I'd feel like I had to deep clean the house after people left not before they came!

OP posts:

Delatron · 28/08/2020 15:35

I think many posters have explained how easy it would be for you to see friends at the moment. It’s August! It’s mild. Many cafes have umbrellas. Or see them in your garden.
Cases really are very low at the moment. It’s all about accurate risk assessment...

Or don’t see them then, sit inside for the next six months or until there’s a vaccine...

Original poster

ciarachats · 28/08/2020 15:40

@Delatron

I think many posters have explained how easy it would be for you to see friends at the moment. It’s August! It’s mild. Many cafes have umbrellas. Or see them in your garden. Cases really are very low at the moment. It’s all about accurate risk assessment...

Or don’t see them then, sit inside for the next six months or until there’s a vaccine...

@Delatron cases in my area aren't low

16/100,000 - the national average is 6/100,000

OP posts:

Kaktus · 28/08/2020 15:46

Then don’t do it. What were you looking for from this thread?

Fleamaker123 · 28/08/2020 15:47

OP I know what you mean, I think some people have completely relaxed down on the social distancing etc. My friend is arranging a party for her daughter's 21st, she's thinks Covid is just the flu and everybody is being ridiculous. But I'm thinking of the risks I can control. Going to a party, indoors, is not something I need to put myself through. Happy to meet outside for a coffee, very little risk. I think you can still socialise but significantly reduce the risk. It is possible.

Clytemnestra2 · 28/08/2020 16:00

OP, you keep on repeating that there are 16 cases per 100,000 where you live, and that this is ‘high’ and ‘dangerous’ because it’s above the average.

Have you actually thought about this means in terms of probable risk? Instead of thinking about a virus imagine you were in a crowd of 100,000 (so a very big stadium) and I said that there are 16 people here who you know, what do you think the chances of bumping into one of those people over the next hour would be? Pretty low, I imagine. And that doesn’t even mean that they would definitely pass the virus onto you - transmission is more complicated then that, otherwise we’d all have had the virus by now. I think you need to try and contextualise the risk, you use know the way you’re currently living is not sustainable.

Delatron · 28/08/2020 16:03

Yes @Clytemnestra2 it is all about accurate risk assessment.

We know the virus transmits from close contact indoors for more than 15 minutes.

So will you meet one of those 16/100,000 in your area, indoors, with no mask close contact? Highly unlikely.

tempnamechange98765 · 28/08/2020 16:05

If you're not shielding/vulnerable and no one else in your household is, then you don't need to deny yourself so much. There's almost no risk to your baby.

As pp have said you are allowed to go to restaurants etc. The seating should be arranged so tables are adhering to the social distancing. Wash your hands thoroughly when you're out.

And live your life. You don't have to go crazy, but you don't have to live a complete lockdown life because those aren't the restrictions any more.

Penguinnn · 28/08/2020 16:06

Op I think you need to consider heath anxiety and how it’s affecting your life.

Babs709 · 28/08/2020 16:07

I do go out! It's not like I'm sitting at home every day! Just recently I feel miserable at not seeing friends because the weather hasn't permitted it!

So many changing goal posts here. Your OP suggests you’re living a “distanced life” because you’re “following the rules”. But you then claim you’ve done plenty of socialising generally just haven’t lately because of the rain. And you acknowledge that the “rules” allow for socialising but actually it’s that you’re not comfortable.

So I’m a bit confused what the point of this is.

If it’s that your mum hasn’t been allowed to hold your baby then that’s only a decision you can make unfortunately. If you’re not comfortable with it then you’re not. For what it’s worth, they’re not “rules”, they’re GUIDELINES. You can interpret them however you wish. I don’t often eat five pieces of fruit a day as per government guidelines 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you decide that you’re not comfortable with your mum holding your baby then that’s fine.

But in answer to your original question: Should I just stop this now and get back to normal?! my answer is: yes, probably. I’m not entirely sure why you are not.

vanillandhoney · 28/08/2020 16:08

cases in my area aren't low. 16/100,000 - the national average is 6/100,000

In percentage terms, that means you only have a 0.016 percent chance of encountering someone with COVID.

On the other hand, you have a 3.1 percent chance of being killed in a car accident.

www.nimblefins.co.uk/whats-likelihood-getting-car-accident-uk