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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spidey senses set off neighbours partner

93 replies

Acdcccc · 27/08/2020 13:28

Buckle up this might be a long one so as to not drip feed...

Woman and three kids moved in next door a year ago and things didn't start off well. Her mum kept parking in front of my drive and other drives in the street. I ignored it the first couple of times till i reached boiling point on a rainy night and had my baby in the car and couldn't park due to her car being in the way.

There was possibility an edge to my voice but tried to ask politely as i could for her to move her car which she did. Anyhow, have been given the cold shoulder ever since but i live and live.

Next problem is new partner on the scene there every day and has also taken to parking in front of my drive way. I've ignored it so far as have been without a car for the last few months. Only when I'm expecting guests to i ask for car to be moved.

Inconsiderate parking aside there is something that creeps me out when ever we cross paths. Besides the occasional hi I've not spoken to him at all but there is just something about him that sets off my spidey senses.

Add to that i notice her partner is never there when what I presume is a social worker visits the mum. (this officious looking guy with a clipboard vists the house every fortnight so can only assume he's a social worker but then again not sure)

I know the above is a lot of assumptions and don't really know what I'm looking for sharing these hunches or if the parking issues have influenced my perception of him.

Am I being unreasonable to feel this way?

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 27/08/2020 13:34

Maybe get a life and stop watching your neighbours, social workers don’t tend to have clipboards either.

ipushmyfingersintomyeyes · 27/08/2020 13:37

Maybe get a life and stop watching your neighbours, social workers don’t tend to have clipboards either.

Basically this

Original poster
Acdcccc · 27/08/2020 13:38

@BashfulClam

Maybe get a life and stop watching your neighbours, social workers don’t tend to have clipboards either.
I have a life thank you very much 😉

So do you mean to tell me you don't notice neighbours coming and going, even by chance?

This is how people end up passing away and decaying in their homes, self absorbed neighbours too oblivious to notice the old man next door hasn't left his flat for 3 weeks

OP posts:
seayork2020 · 27/08/2020 13:39

I would keep on asking them to move their car if parking across my drive, the rest I would leave and get on with my own life

TheHappyHerbivore · 27/08/2020 13:41

If you’ve never even spoken to him then there is genuinely no way you could have any kind of accurate sense about him as a person.

ChaChaCha2012 · 27/08/2020 13:42

Noticing if your neighbour hasn't surfaced for three weeks is very different to spying on and judging your neighbours on a daily basis.

(I know many social workers and none of them use clipboards. It really could be anyone visiting. Irrespective, it's none of your business.)

Original poster
Acdcccc · 27/08/2020 13:43

You're right it's only the occasional hi so perhaps i am being irrational

OP posts:
billy1966 · 27/08/2020 13:43

I would be seen to clearly take his reg number and ask that he doesn't park his car blocking your drive again.

Tell him you have noted the number and will report him for blocking your access if he does.

And do it.

TORDEVAN · 27/08/2020 13:45

on a different thread you would probably be told to listen to your instincts about people as they are usually right 🤔

Yanbu to have a bad feeling about him, but the rest is irrelevant other than to point out why you might not like your neighbour!

user1493413286 · 27/08/2020 13:46

I’m a social worker and I don’t have a clipboard (although admittedly it’s be useful) but neighbours tend to work out who we are when we visit a lot.
I think it’s important to listen to your gut instincts although in this situation it’s not really like there’s much you need to do as you already don’t have much contact with him but if situations come up where you might then I’d think twice.
Also my kitchen table sits is by my front window so I see a lot of comings and goings; noticing that doesn’t make me a bag person and you’re right it is neighbours taking notice that means that vulnerable people are picked up. A lot of difficulties in children’s lives are picked up through social services or police being notified by neighbours. Obviously there’s nothing to say at the moment but things happen.

Original poster
Acdcccc · 27/08/2020 13:47

@billy1966

I would be seen to clearly take his reg number and ask that he doesn't park his car blocking your drive again.

Tell him you have noted the number and will report him for blocking your access if he does.

And do it.

That's a good idea but I'm hesitant to make too much of a scene as i love alone and don't wanna end up on "Nightmare Neighbours"
OP posts:
PhilCornwall1 · 27/08/2020 13:47

So do you mean to tell me you don't notice neighbours coming and going, even by chance?

Haven't got a clue what my neighbours do or who comes and visits. Took me 4 days to realise my next door neighbours had been away, only because I was out the front and saw them come back.

We've had someone new move in two doors up and I couldn't tell you what they look like and they've been there since May.

user1493413286 · 27/08/2020 13:48

*bad person

Original poster
Acdcccc · 27/08/2020 13:50

Thank you so much for your comment @user1493413286 interesting to hear the perspective of someone in this line of work.

I really have nothing to go on and don't even know their names so don't think there's any action to take in this instance, was just looking to hear others thoughts on the situation

OP posts:
TheRealHousewife · 27/08/2020 13:54

Clipboard ... if it’s a social worker he’s not very considerate or anti-oppressive. SWs are trained to be discreet on visits and respectful.

She’s entitled to have who she wants to visit without being scrutinised & judged.

As you were.

Captnip500 · 27/08/2020 13:55

I am not sure why you this person coning to the house is a social worker. They could be any number of things. In my experience social workers are often reasonably casually dressed and don’t carry clipboards. Even if it is a social workers, does it matter? They have a social worker because someone in the home hasn’t a disability or mental health problem.

I can see why you are annoyed about the parking issue. Maybe you need to have another polite word with them.

Some people that you meet on life just creep you out. Maybe there is something in it, maybe there isn’t but as you don’t really have any dealings with these people o don’t see the problem. Just stay out of their way as much as possible and mind your own business.

Viviennemary · 27/08/2020 14:04

I don't think parking across your drive means a serial killer has moved in next door. Joining a creative writing class would be a good outlet for your overactive imagination and hunches.

Zilla1 · 27/08/2020 14:04

Don't ignore your gut feelings, OP, though do ignore some PPs here.

If you want to risk kicking a hornet's nest (I wouldn't advise), the next time you have a parking issue, ask her at the end if she knows someone with a clipboard as someone came to your door while you were out and your guest said they were carrying a clipboard and wouldn't leave a message.

recklessruby · 27/08/2020 14:04

The parking thing would annoy me too. I would tell them I need access to my house for deliveries and visitors.
The clipboard man could be a loan agent picking up his money or something. They visit at the same time weekly/fortnightly/monthly depending on when you get paid. I had provy at my door every monday 6.30pm for weeks paying off a loan.
The partner? Cant decide. I dont think you have had enough to do with him to make a judgement. Maybe he s just not the sociable type.

jessstan2 · 27/08/2020 14:05

@Acdcccc

You're right it's only the occasional hi so perhaps i am being irrational
I don't think you are at all irrational and cannot understand why anyone would park over someone's drive. It is so obvious when it is the entrance to a drive! I do wonder what sort of people they are who do such a thing, occasionally or not.

Perhaps ask the council if they could arrange for something to be written in the road just outside your, and other people's, drives. I have seen that though it really shouldn't be necessary.

Original poster
Acdcccc · 27/08/2020 14:07

@Viviennemary

I don't think parking across your drive means a serial killer has moved in next door. Joining a creative writing class would be a good outlet for your overactive imagination and hunches.
This did make me giggle, i appreciate the humour 😉😁
OP posts:
Midsommar · 27/08/2020 14:07

The parking situation would irritate the hell out of me. Leave a note on their car next time they do it. Or park your car in front of your own driveway. Petty, but that's what I'd do!

Polnm · 27/08/2020 14:08

Clipboard more likely to be the man from provident

YetAnotherSpartacus · 27/08/2020 14:10

Yeah, I live alone and totally get this. I'd address the parking across driveway issue as best you can (always report) and keep a wide berth - whilst hoping they move soon.

sammylady37 · 27/08/2020 14:10

If you want to risk kicking a hornet's nest (I wouldn't advise), the next time you have a parking issue, ask her at the end if she knows someone with a clipboard as someone came to your door while you were out and your guest said they were carrying a clipboard and wouldn't leave a message

What sort of batshit nonsense is that??