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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman in cafe not social distancing

186 replies

Cafegoer · 26/08/2020 16:30

Today I took DS to Muffin Break in a near by shopping centre.

As we were eating a woman came and stood right by our chairs to pay DS a compliment - the woman wasn’t wearing a mask and neither were we because we were eating. It made me feel uncomfortable as DS had been shielding and we should all be social distancing, she was talking over our food which wasn’t pleasant. DS asked the woman who she was and why she was talking to him (he has ASD and can be very straightforward). The woman said she was staff and being friendly. The woman then moved over to another table and spoke to a man with a baby, prior to talking to us the woman stood right next to another family to speak to them but they quickly shooed her away.

The woman wasn’t in a uniform and was there with three other people having lunch. She seems to be there very frequently (most of the time I walk by), never in uniform and does often tidy up tables and spend time with the staff.

AIBU to think that if she is staff (which I highly doubt) she needs further training in keeping her distance during the pandemic. If she isn’t staff then the staff have a duty to ensure customers are behaving safely.

OP posts:
mrsmummy1111 · 27/08/2020 19:59

You need a hobby

Wtfdidwedo · 27/08/2020 20:11

I love Muffin Break. Why does someone being friendly and talking mean they have SEN or are some sort of crazy person who loiters in cafes? She could be a manager if she's not wearing uniform, and isn't doing much other than chatting to customers and staff and clearing the odd table.

OverTheRainbow88 · 27/08/2020 20:20

Is it weird that I’ve never ever heard of muffin break before?

user1490954378 · 27/08/2020 20:24

Just say, 'we are trying to social distance due to health issues, and we're not that keen on people standing over our food as we are eating, so if you could step back a bit, that would be great, thanks.' She'll probably be a bit huffy, but I doubt she'll then bother you again.

user1490954378 · 27/08/2020 20:26

and also due to health issues* ...before someone jumps in with the obvious.

Ethelfleda · 27/08/2020 20:31

@hamstersarse

I think you should have shot her really
Grin
manicinsomniac · 27/08/2020 20:43

While I don't think making a post about the situation was necessary, I don't think YABU. Social distancing guidelines are still in place. If people choose not to follow them, that is up to them but it shouldn't be a matter for eye rolling and ridicule that others are doing as they are supposed to do and want their space to be respected.

I feel especially for people who have been shielding. The whole time that they were having to stay inside, other people were out and about being militant and hyper aware about social distancing and only doing 'essential' things. Then life started getting back to normal for most of us and we were happier and (mostly) very willing to distance in return for being able to do things. But shielding people were still stuck inside. Now they can finally go out and would be able to join the rest of us in carefully distanced 'old normal' activities like eating lunch out. Except suddenly everyone else has stopped bothering about distancing and decided that those who care are snowflakes. So the shielded people are still unable to take part. It's unfair.

oofadoofa · 27/08/2020 20:44

Echoing what @ImaSababa said. Just wanted to add that the operative word in the sentence ‘DS had been shielding’ is had. If it’s so risky to be out in public then don’t go out in public.

Corono · 27/08/2020 20:57

People,shouldn’t have to avoid places. People should follow the guidance and socially distance. I’m sure the OP would have been fine if the woman ad socially distanced. It’s hardly exacting standards.

But as the 12553322 posts on MN say, they don't! So unless you're going to try and train the entire population, I'd suggest your own risk assessment or abstain?

Also @hamstersarse has the other alternative!

Corono · 27/08/2020 21:03

I do agree that the cafe staff (Most young and very busy) don’t have a duty to tell this woman not to walk table to table chatting (if she isn’t staff as I suspect she isn’t) but given she is there very frequently management should perhaps have a word with her.

So did you speak to the management about it..... what did they say? Because if you didn't YABVVU as nothing will ever be addressed if you didn't. You're then making it difficult for your family and others to go there?

Barney60 · 27/08/2020 22:37

Dont know about shooting people, always fancied one of those electric cattle prods myself, 2 metres long of course!

linsey2581 · 27/08/2020 23:58

@honeygirlz Did you read the OP post? Her son is autistic. Most (not all autistic people have no filter and just get straight to the point and don’t pussyfoot about it. My 17 year old son is the same. Clearly you’ve never met an autistic person. Your loss I suppose

honeygirlz · 28/08/2020 09:42

I actually do have 2 cousins with autism, and even when they were young boys / teens they never said anything rude in my presence. Also now have a nephew through marriage. I appreciate all kids are different, but MN always gets in a huff when someone is rude and another person asks ‘Does he have autism?’ so I thought you would discourage rude behaviour to a member of staff, even if child has autism.

urkidding · 28/08/2020 09:55

Complain to the staff. Phone up the company and complain to the management.

GingerWit · 28/08/2020 11:21

Grin ROFL

GingerWit · 28/08/2020 11:22

@GingerWit

Grin ROFL
In response to "You should have shot her"
PepsiMaxCherry · 28/08/2020 11:24

Sorry you're getting a hard time on here OP. I agree with you, if she wanted to speak to the Customer why on earth wasnt she wearing a mask?

Also, no harm in what your son said, she's a stranger so why is she speaking to him? I've taught my children to not speak to strangers, so there's nothing wrong if they don't answer.

LouiseNW · 28/08/2020 11:29

She sounds lonely.

We are extremely careful, I’m the only one who shops because of vulnerable family members and I wear a mask if I’m anywhere near other people, indoors or out.

My husband was shielding. If he decided to go unmasked into a cafe then complained when another unmasked person came close, I’m afraid I would think he was the unreasonable one. But he wouldn’t.

oreshina · 28/08/2020 11:56

Is this maybe indicative of a bit of anxiety on your part? This is very common at the moment.

I think it is perfectly acceptable if you are feeling uncomfortable to say "sorry but would you mind giving us a bit more space please."

I'm sure the lady was just trying to be pleasant but some people can just be a bit ott in general anyway.

FelicisNox · 28/08/2020 13:54

I just can't do any more of these pointless threads.

I just can't.

DameFanny · 28/08/2020 15:59

So don't @FelicisNox?

MrsBadcrumble123 · 28/08/2020 19:07

Clutching my pearls in horror on your behalf Hmm

Aridane · 30/08/2020 08:27

Then get off the thread, @FelicisNox

FallonsTeaRoom · 30/08/2020 09:10

@FelicisNox

I just can't do any more of these pointless threads.

I just can't.

The door is that way >>>>>
not2impressed · 31/08/2020 13:52

In fairness we really shouldn't have to tell grown adults to stand back though, they know the guidence, there are signs about. I was queueing to get into a retail outlet last week keeping my distance from the family in front, the family behind were practically in my Pocket, then the mother has the audacity to say oh there isn't much social distancing today is there. So I turned around and said no there isn't. Her husband burst out laughing as she sheepishly stood back, but if she's aware of sidial distancing rules it really shouldn't be my place to get her to adhere to them, just as this mother and child shouldn't have to make the stranger talking to them follow the rules.