Woman in cafe not social distancing

[Cafegoer]

Today I took DS to Muffin Break in a near by shopping centre.

As we were eating a woman came and stood right by our chairs to pay DS a compliment - the woman wasn’t wearing a mask and neither were we because we were eating. It made me feel uncomfortable as DS had been shielding and we should all be social distancing, she was talking over our food which wasn’t pleasant. DS asked the woman who she was and why she was talking to him (he has ASD and can be very straightforward). The woman said she was staff and being friendly. The woman then moved over to another table and spoke to a man with a baby, prior to talking to us the woman stood right next to another family to speak to them but they quickly shooed her away.

The woman wasn’t in a uniform and was there with three other people having lunch. She seems to be there very frequently (most of the time I walk by), never in uniform and does often tidy up tables and spend time with the staff.

AIBU to think that if she is staff (which I highly doubt) she needs further training in keeping her distance during the pandemic. If she isn’t staff then the staff have a duty to ensure customers are behaving safely.

... it's like Mumsnet can take sanctimony to a whole new level
shocked and appalled, were you really ??

Hoping that those saying otherwise are a vocal minority who have found their tribe here over the last few months, or we are fckd
I'm hopeful they don't represent RL. Social media has always attracted the anonymous bullies who lack compassion but they don't represent the majority.

"I'm sorry, but I feel quite uncomfortable that you are so close to us, can you please move away. I'm not trying to be rude, but these are worrying times, and I am really not comfortable with someone being within a metre, without a mask, and talking over our food.
Thank you."

I have to send him to school soon, which means getting used to Pele other than his dad, me and the babies.

I enjoyed this autocorrect.

@BadLad

I have to send him to school soon, which means getting used to Pele other than his dad, me and the babies.

I enjoyed this autocorrect.

So did I.

I think the rules have been relaxed to such an extent that it's no longer clear. Especially when so many people have jobs which bring them into close proximity with others.

Yes, people should be appropriately social distancing, but it's down to the anxious to manage their own anxieties.
Is going into a particular place is triggering for you, get a take out and eat your muffin elsewhere

I'm happy to have made you both smile lol

”Yes, people should be appropriately social distancing, but it's down to the anxious to manage their own anxieties.“

I don’t see any sign that the OP was anxious or not managing anxiety. Anyway, a bit of anxiety during an unprecedented global pandemic, when everything keeps changing and so little is known about the virus, is a healthy reaction. I think a total lack of anxiety in some people could be denial and wanting to ignore it, which would be understandable too. It’s hard to face just how much life has changed and to contemplate the real consequences if it runs rampant before we are fully prepared.

She didn’t feel comfortable to tell the person to move. That’s a normal response. We are all having to learn new social norms and how to manage situations politely and in a friendly way when SD rules aren’t followed. It is a tricky situation. None of us are used to it yet.

The OP was wanting to know if having an internal reaction to the situation was reasonable or not. Probably to help her to think about how to respond next time.

In my view the OPs reaction was completely normal and understandable.

There are certainly an interesting mix of opinions here!

I didn’t ask the woman to move away as engaging in conversation would just prolong her standing so close to us and pointing it out would just make DS anxious.

The woman was uncomfortably close even for ‘normal times’. Not having people on my face has been a benefit of Covid.

I don’t think DS was being rude, a stranger was speaking to him and he asked who she was. As I’ve already stated he has ASD, he’s a vulnerable child and I’m pleased he’s able to question who people are especially when they make him feel uncomfortable.

I have taken DS to eat out and haven’t felt unduly uncomfortable anywhere else as tables have been spread out and staff have kept their distance when taking orders and been quick at leaving food at the table - we can also put on masks if we see someone is going to come to our table. Muffin break is counter service, DS didn’t need to have any interaction with staff at all.

I don’t want to hide my family away because other people are inconsiderate- people should stick to the SD rules, I understand it isn’t always possible but in this case the woman had no reason to come so close.

I do agree that the cafe staff (Most young and very busy) don’t have a duty to tell this woman not to walk table to table chatting (if she isn’t staff as I suspect she isn’t) but given she is there very frequently management should perhaps have a word with her.

This is why I hate going anywhere. People need to seriously get a grip. I went to McDonald's yesterday, kids on next table being loud, got up at one point nr our table and quiet honestly was nice to see kids being kids and a bit of normality. I think the world has gone crazy.

I want to move to Sweden 🇸🇪

This is getting ridiculous. Now the people is the police? Live and let others be. And if you are so worried perhaps you should avoid these kind of places

You should definitely log it with 101 😉

Completely agree with you, @Msmcc1212. I’m appalled at the responses as well.

OP
Your son has been shielding for months, of course you and he want to get out for a coffee. If everyone followed social distancing regulations of 1m or 2m this wouldn’t be a problem. But it is because a lot of people don’t care, or are in denial. Shielding has been paused, and if others were responsible, we could all go out safely. Those with underlying conditions aren’t some sub human species who should remain at home for the rest of their lives.

That said, this woman sounds like she has SEBN, but that is not, nor should it be your problem. And you ought to be able to vent about it without the MN pile on

Also, your son wasn’t rude, he was straightforward.

@ilikeglitter some people are just mean. I read your thread and there's nothing funny about having a condition like yours. I've reported the comment.

Some of the comments on this thread show that some of you are not taking social distancing seriously. No wonder the R number is going up.

The R number was always going to go up

I think we must go to the same muffin break cafe as I think I know who you mean! She's always there when I go, sometimes clears tables and takes them into kitchen and is over friendly with customers.

Is there a Muffin Break in the Sistine Chapel?

Maybe this lady is a customer who also has ASD? Maybe she isn’t aware of some aspects of social interaction and just as you excused your sons behaviour towards her as due to ASD, maybe that excuses her behaviour?

Next time just ask someone to give you a little more space.

It's like being a spectacularly unempathetic cunt has become a badge of honour these days.

How can you be shielding in a public eatery?

Need the R number to increase a bit to get herd immunity over and done with. Cant see there being a vaccine.

These posts are boring now. You're happy to eat out and eat food you don't know who has sneezed on or touched yet you are worried about face masks!
I've worked in the hospitality industry so I know what happens to food before it goes out for eating.

Tell her or anyone else to back off out of your personal space, do it politely and it's a non issue.

Pandemic or not, everyone is entitled to their own personal space. But be polite.