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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman in cafe not social distancing

186 replies

Cafegoer · 26/08/2020 16:30

Today I took DS to Muffin Break in a near by shopping centre.

As we were eating a woman came and stood right by our chairs to pay DS a compliment - the woman wasn’t wearing a mask and neither were we because we were eating. It made me feel uncomfortable as DS had been shielding and we should all be social distancing, she was talking over our food which wasn’t pleasant. DS asked the woman who she was and why she was talking to him (he has ASD and can be very straightforward). The woman said she was staff and being friendly. The woman then moved over to another table and spoke to a man with a baby, prior to talking to us the woman stood right next to another family to speak to them but they quickly shooed her away.

The woman wasn’t in a uniform and was there with three other people having lunch. She seems to be there very frequently (most of the time I walk by), never in uniform and does often tidy up tables and spend time with the staff.

AIBU to think that if she is staff (which I highly doubt) she needs further training in keeping her distance during the pandemic. If she isn’t staff then the staff have a duty to ensure customers are behaving safely.

OP posts:
SusansSassySidePony · 26/08/2020 18:26

When you go out, you will meet lots of idiots like the posters on this thread who think they're terribly witty. possibly they go back to school soon Hmm
It's not UR to expect people to respect social distancing but there are people who are selfish and don't.
It is UR to expect staff to enforce it. They don't know if you know each other. They don't know if you're happy to ignore social distancing.
We've been shielding. We're not going to cafes. As this thread has shown, some people think it's hilarious to invade people's personal space and not wear masks.

PablosHoney · 26/08/2020 18:32

They post you have copied says ‘could’ and ‘might’ have special needs not ‘obviously’ have

PablosHoney · 26/08/2020 18:36

Will do @SantaClaritaDiet

PablosHoney · 26/08/2020 18:38

It’s totally unfair to call OP’s son ill mannered or rude 😨

JacobReesMogadishu · 26/08/2020 18:40

I’ve no problem with staff having to get close to serve food, etc.

But this isn’t applicable in this case. They were already eating and the woman came over for a chat when she had no need to. By all means chat but social distance. It’s not rocket science.

Glitteryone · 26/08/2020 18:41

Do you know what we should distance ourselves from?

Social distancing threads on mumsnet.

It’s so, so tedious now.

SoleBizzz · 26/08/2020 18:43

You put your DS at risk yourself.

GrumpyHoonMain · 26/08/2020 18:44

@Cafegoer

Today I took DS to Muffin Break in a near by shopping centre.

As we were eating a woman came and stood right by our chairs to pay DS a compliment - the woman wasn’t wearing a mask and neither were we because we were eating. It made me feel uncomfortable as DS had been shielding and we should all be social distancing, she was talking over our food which wasn’t pleasant. DS asked the woman who she was and why she was talking to him (he has ASD and can be very straightforward). The woman said she was staff and being friendly. The woman then moved over to another table and spoke to a man with a baby, prior to talking to us the woman stood right next to another family to speak to them but they quickly shooed her away.

The woman wasn’t in a uniform and was there with three other people having lunch. She seems to be there very frequently (most of the time I walk by), never in uniform and does often tidy up tables and spend time with the staff.

AIBU to think that if she is staff (which I highly doubt) she needs further training in keeping her distance during the pandemic. If she isn’t staff then the staff have a duty to ensure customers are behaving safely.

First of all if your DS needed to be shielding then why the fuck were you both in Muffin Break multiple times enough to recognise plains clothes staff?

Secondly new staff at most retailers (including banks) are in their own clothes until they get their uniforms. As Muffin Breaks are mostly franchises it’s up to the owner and it sounds like she was working for them.

Thirdly if your son is supposed to be shielding keep him the fuck away from public places.

userxx · 26/08/2020 18:50

God these threads depress me.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/08/2020 18:55

Recthecwhy would you allow your shielding kid out.

Shielding ended. I have to send him to school soon, which means getting used to Pele other than his dad, me and the babies. After 5 months of isolation he will be in school with brand new teachers he's never met and kids he might not remember. Is it really so odd to think that he'd benefit from being socialized outside in the real world for a little first, and that getting back to being around people, keeping distance, maintaining hygiene which is what all the other kids have had chance to do, might be really important? And if people bothered to SD it wouldn't be a problem??

lljkk · 26/08/2020 18:58

I was wondering if the no-mask-friendly-staff person is herself an adult with SN. Would explain low awareness of expected boundaries. Esp. if all she does is tidy tables.

Brefugee · 26/08/2020 19:03

People,shouldn’t have to avoid places. People should follow the guidance and socially distance.

Think how empty AIBU would be if people actually just opened their mouths and said "step back, please, you're too close"

And if you have anxiety and can't do that, knowing (from the billion threads here about this stuff) then maybe you want to think about where you're going and what you're doing until either this whole thing has blown over (I'm expecting it all to go on until at least next summer) or you learn to tell people to back off. (same goes for pp with the estate agent)

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/08/2020 19:12

@nc600

"don't know why people find it funny that I get dizzy on escalators and can potentially fall and kill myself."

I don't know why you'd add in the extra complication of carrying a 3 year old if this is the case. Fan of extreme sports?

I’m screeching with laughter. My dog has just looked at me like I’m insane.... Thank you. Best comment for a while that!

Being disabled myself I find the falling and dying comment hyperbole. Very different from Menieres.

Jenasaurus · 26/08/2020 19:12

Lob a muffin at her head, that'll teach her

ScarMatty · 26/08/2020 19:15

It's a long shot, but I would guess this thread hasn't gone quite the way OP planned. Could be wrong though.

BritWifeinUSA · 26/08/2020 19:15

Cafes have been closed for months and finally they can open and the staff are being friendly and making people feel welcome. She did a very nice thing. It certainly wasn’t malicious.

If you are out in a cafe around other people then you obviously feel safe enough to do so otherwise you should have stayed at home. So many people think that shops and restaurants opening means a government order for everyone to go and frequent the places that are open. You don’t have to go out. Those of us who are not scared of this virus are pleased to see cafes and shops open. Those who still believe it’s the most deadly thing to hit the planet are welcome to stay at home.

ScarMatty · 26/08/2020 19:15

@Jenasaurus

Lob a muffin at her head, that'll teach her
What a stupid totally not thought through suggestion.

Who would waste a muffin like that.

cms1972 · 26/08/2020 19:16

You sound like one of those people who would report your neighbours to the police if you saw them out in their garden, apparently not social distancing.

Try to keep a sense of perspective OP! If you can't then stay indoors.

I too have been slightly irritated by people getting in my space, but then I feel that way pandemic or no pandemic.

DianaT1969 · 26/08/2020 19:16

If only you were trying to breastfeed at the same time the Daily Mail would be all over this.
As it is, you'll have to claim that she spat in your food and licked your muffin to get any traction.

Ori82 · 26/08/2020 19:18

If you go to a cafe you have to accept the risks. It’s a personal choice. You need to tolerate a level of uncertainty if you’re out and about, eating out etc. Otherwise it’s not worth going because you’ll be anxious all the time.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/08/2020 19:19

I haven’t been out to eat. Don’t have much energy myself to do such things. Perhaps you could try doing something lower risk. We have month or so of warm weather still....

Lipz · 26/08/2020 19:24

@hamstersarse

I think you should have shot her really
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
KarmaStar · 26/08/2020 19:26

Ffs!! Yes look at the "I wasn't allowed in the shop post" you'll get on famously.

viques · 26/08/2020 19:30

@hamstersarse

I think you should have shot her really
Quite. It's no good negotiating and engaging politely with these people. Treat them as you would a zombie.
Midsommar · 26/08/2020 19:31

Eyeroll. Covid has turned everyone into a paranoid mess. I'm sure you've not contracted anything from her. As Elsa says - let it go.