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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What is this obsession with coffee???

201 replies

QueenofmyPrinces · 26/08/2020 08:22

MN seems to be obsessed with coffee....

Someone wants to meet up with friends....they are advised on MN to go for a coffee.

If someone is meeting a guy for a daytime date....MN suggests they go for a coffee.

If someone wants to ask a guy out but is shy....MN suggest she gently ask him out for a coffee.

I just don’t get it. Does nobody drink tea anymore?

In fact, the only time I see a cup of tea being suggested is if someone is in shock or very upset about something that has just happened....they are told to try and calm down and have a very sugary tea.

Every time I read a thread and see coffee as being the ‘drink of choice’ I feel inner rage

In case you hadn’t realised, I am an avid tea drinker and I can’t even bear the smell of coffee, never mind entertain the idea of ever actually drinking it

YABU : yes coffee is always mentioned on here but that’s because it should be the drink of choice.

YANBU - I have no idea why coffee is always suggested and it seems very unfair to simply brush aside the good old English cup of tea

OP posts:

WhyIsItSoHardToPickAUsername · 26/08/2020 08:25

I hate coffee too but 'going for a coffee' just means a casual meet up. Either a first, tentative date or a quick catch up with a friend. You don't have to actually drink coffee.

toomanyspiderplants · 26/08/2020 08:26

tea drinker here. on the odd occasion I order a coffee when out I tend to regret it as I don't understand the supplementary questions.

Footlooseandfancy · 26/08/2020 08:26

I use "going for a coffee" to mean let's go to a cafe and drink whatever choice of beverage you like and probably have a slice of cake too.

My OH says the phrase and he's never tried a coffee in his life. He drinks hot chocolate.

TinyMetalBirds · 26/08/2020 08:31

"Having coffee" or "inviting someone for coffee" is just code for "going out for a drink that is not alcoholic. It doesnt actually have to be coffee. "Inviting someone for tea" risks being misinterpreted as tea the meal, and also I would always assume a cup of tea would be at someone's house - perhaps because the idea of paying a premium for someone to stick a teabag in some boiling water seems odd. I do speak from the standpoint however as someone who loathes tea and always has, it makes me gag, so you may wish to disregard my thoughts.

Original poster

QueenofmyPrinces · 26/08/2020 08:32

I use "going for a coffee" to mean let's go to a cafe and drink whatever choice of beverage you like.......

So why say it?

Why not just say let’s go out to a cafe and have a drink?

This is what I don’t understand....

OP posts:

WhyIsItSoHardToPickAUsername · 26/08/2020 08:33

It's just a turn of phrase op.

Polkasquare · 26/08/2020 08:34

@QueenofmyPrinces

I use "going for a coffee" to mean let's go to a cafe and drink whatever choice of beverage you like.......

So why say it?

Why not just say let’s go out to a cafe and have a drink?

This is what I don’t understand....

What did people say before coffee became popular?

TheHappyHerbivore · 26/08/2020 08:35

I think coffee feels like more of an occasion. Partly because I’ll be damned if I ever buy tea in a cafe when it costs £1.75 for a pot despite the raw ingredients costing pennies and there being no skill involved in making it. But ‘going for coffee’ can incorporate whatever beverage you like, really.

dudsville · 26/08/2020 08:35

"Let's go for a tea".

"Let's go for a coffee".

"Let's go for a beverage of your choice ".

Hm,I can see which one sounds best!

squeekums · 26/08/2020 08:36

@QueenofmyPrinces

I use "going for a coffee" to mean let's go to a cafe and drink whatever choice of beverage you like.......

So why say it?

Why not just say let’s go out to a cafe and have a drink?

This is what I don’t understand....

Have a drink to me implies alcohol

Coffee is just easy to say if it's your main drink, people know cafes do serve other stuff though

ImaSababa · 26/08/2020 08:37

Tea is confusing because in some parts of the country it means a whole meal. So "let's meet for a tea" could be misconstrued as a dinner invitation.

AlwaysLatte · 26/08/2020 08:38

Haha it's a good point. I have two cups of tea a day but the rest is coffee, and I do tend to say to friends to 'meet up for a coffee' For me I think it's more to do with the time of day as I tend to only have tea first thing in the morning then mid afternoon. Meeting up during the day tends to be at around 11.

Nonotthisagain · 26/08/2020 08:38

I never have coffee as I can't stand the stuff. I'm also an avid tea drinker but almost never have it in a cafe because of the extortionate price, often awful tea and inappropriate vessel! I'll have a hot chocolate or smoothie or something

BertieBotts · 26/08/2020 08:39

Tea as bought in coffee shops is generally utterly shit whereas coffee is much nicer than the instant most people have at home.

Dave Gorman nails it.

GreyGardens88 · 26/08/2020 08:39

I'm not a fan of any hot drinks and I would rather have a red bull tbh, but that's not socially acceptable so I throw the coffee down my neck

senua · 26/08/2020 08:40

"going for a coffee"
four words
go out to a cafe and have a drink
nine words

This is what I don’t understand....
Brevity, innit.

Beamur · 26/08/2020 08:40

I only drink coffee!
It has become a bit ubiquitous, like hoover/Google being both the object and the verb.
Weirdly I often avoid saying it as some of my friends only drink tea and my request for coffee leaves them rummaging around for the cafetiere at the back of the cupboard.
I tend to go with 'meet for a cuppa?' (despite not liking the word cuppa much either!)

sammylady37 · 26/08/2020 08:40

I say ‘will we meet for a cuppa?’

PurdyFlower · 26/08/2020 08:40

You can’t say ‘going for tea’ as that regionally means dinner, or could be confused with afternoon tea.

‘Going for a drink’ implies going out for a beer or evening drinks so that doesn’t work.

Coffee works to say ‘go out for casual day drinks’ as it can’t be misconstrued with anything else.

Plussizejumpsuit · 26/08/2020 08:41

I love tea and coffee. Going for a coffee is just a turn of phrase. Meaning meet for a chat or a casual day time date.

Paulolina · 26/08/2020 08:41

I prefer a beer in all those situations op

MrsEricBana · 26/08/2020 08:41

I "go for coffee" quite often. I don't drink coffee. Agree it just describes the type of outing and going for tea could be misinterpreted as including afternoon tea/food. Then we have the coffee morning...

Lindy2 · 26/08/2020 08:41

To me it means just means going to a cafe which serves hot drinks, cake, light snacks etc as opposed to a pub or restaurant.

A cafe is more casual and you wouldn't normally have a full meal there or drink alcohol.

You could suggest a "tea room" but that would be rather old fashioned. Plus you can drink tea when you go for a coffee and coffee if you go to a tea room.

lotusbell · 26/08/2020 08:42

Because "hey good looking, how about you and I go and grab a hot beverage?" Or "would you like to meet up for a cup of tea some time?" doesn't have the same ring to it. It's something that's come across from.America I presume, as they had coffee shops and take out hot drinks long before it was a thing here.
As mentioned, asking someone out for a drink is usually an alcoholic one.

premiumshoes · 26/08/2020 08:42

This isn't anything to do with MN though. Why do you think it's a MN obsession? I used to 'go for a coffee' in the 1990's, it's not a new expression and certainly not a MN specific one.

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